Needing help to be ok with open relationship

I also decided last night to try cross fit. My first class is Wednesday. Who knows maybe I’ll find a hot trainer and hit it off.

That's the attitude! If your husband can date a petite 20yr old, you can date a hung one! Get over the jealousy, keep the relationship in tact, keep the money flowing and the businesses happy. Hell you could be right around the corner of truly letting things run themselves and essential early retirement; that will be a good life! Learn how to protect your money, both of you since your both going to be dating... This all seems like a win win win. Happy for you!
 
I also decided last night to try cross fit. My first class is Wednesday. Who knows maybe I’ll find a hot trainer and hit it off.
I have nothing really to add, except they I fully endorse this!
The goal is to not divorce and to try to live so everyone is happy. I’m trying to be ok with this I really am. It’s just hard. I’m going to give it a shot and see how it goes. I do feel like it would destroy our business if we separated. I could work my ass off and support my whole family at the lifestyle I’m at now but I honestly just don’t want to. I could make as much if not more then my husband if I put in the hours he does. I actually have outproduced him when we are working equal hours. I’m only 32 and have no life or friends but maybe I’ll be able to find something besides work at this point in my life. I have a lot of charities I could volunteer for that would die for my help (doing the job I do now). And I used to love horseback riding. Maybe I’ll buy an expensive horse and start training again at a community barn. I have just have nothing besides him and my kids in my life and maybe I need to have something outside of just him. I can’t rely on him to make me happy. If I just focus on what he is doing all the time I literally drive myself crazy. So I’m going to try to do more things for me.
Yes to all of the above. I'm a man but have been in (well, am in) your shoes as far as opening up. This is a gold mine of an opportunity to reclaim your life and do the things you want to do - not just about dating but about all the things you thought you couldn't do to prioritize yourself. And if you need any more motivation, your kids will benefit from seeing their mom happy and engaged with life outside of the home/office. What they see you doing will show them what's possible.
 
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