New and not sure

[kmarie86]

I am really needing someone to talk to. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. He has 3 kids and we have all lived together for the last 3 years.
About a month ago he told me that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me but he wants to try dating other people. He assured me that wouldnt mean he loved me any less or would want me any less. I cried... a lot. I told him I needed more time and we eventually talked about it again the other night.
He wants to be able to have more than one person to talk to and share love with. I have been thinking about trying this but I am also the type of girl who loves and I love hard. I get really sad when I think of him with another girl but I cant imagine my life without him either.
I need to understand how to do this without the jealousy or hurt taking over. I dont want to do this to just make him happy but I do want to see if this lifestyle would bring us closer together.
I want to get more in depth with talking about this and I know this is an introduction thread so I can always talk more on another thread.

I just want someone to talk to and maybe explain how you do something like this when its new.

Thank you so much in advance.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings kmarie86,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

One thing that may help you is Franklin Veaux's Poly FAQ. You are new to poly, and it helps to get some basic concerns out of the way. It might be a good idea for your boyfriend to read that page also. I understand his basic desire to try poly, but he must be kind, careful, and considerate towards you. Otherwise it will not work. It may help for him to register here and explore the various threads. He needs to learn how to do poly right. This would include, of course, granting you the same freedom to date other guys outside of your relationship. It also includes going slowly. This is a difficult time for you. One of the worst things he could do is rush.

I am sympathetic toward you as I know you are going through a very difficult time. I hope I can answer any questions you may have.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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