New and Seeking advice.

[Respectablegains]

Hey all I am new to poly and I would like some advice from some of the Vets. So I just kinda fell into it, I am not much of kinkster (Light BDSM, ropes n gags that sort of thing) and was monogamous for a long time with my "Anchor" so to speak but, circumstances were such we now live in different cities. Poly was something we had always wanted to try so we figured this would be a good opportunity to give at go. I go through episodes of being totally into it and excruciatingly frustrated with it. So far here's my take. Btw Im a big (6'6) fairly in shape straight white guy, so not really the average candidate for this lifestyle.

Pro's
-I get to stay in a relationship with my girlfriend and see other people.
-I enjoy the experience of going on successful dates and finding partners.
-You get that "new relationship high" with each one.
Con's
-Allot more work, Its like dating and being in a relationship at the same time.
-Less sex, though admittedly this may be a temporary ill. I am highly sexual individual, I love to fuck, (and I like money to lol) but no seriously, I am extremely verile, and this is a huge fucking problem for me. I have so far met two potential partners. One is really neat and pretty hot and we've been on 3 dates so far (over the span of about a month) and yet to fuck though that hopefully changes this Thursday. And the other I just got dear jon'd by because after 2 really successful dates she decided the poly lifestyle wasn't for her.
-Which leads me to my last Con. It seems I am at a massive disadvantage for this lifestyle. As afor mentioned I am your stereotypical cis scum alpha male type at least by appearance. And I am not heavily into the kink community either which I notice has allot of correlation to poly. Most women straight or BI that I have met either have only one male partner (their anchor is often male and usually veto's me without even meeting me) or are only looking for single monogamous men.

So this kinda fuckin sucks and rocks at the same time, but just now mostly sucking. Do I just need patience? Am I right or wrong in this? Are their any other dudes in my situation? Where do you find poly people?(Ive mostly been on OKC) So yea if I could get some feed back that would be freaking amazing. Thanks y'all!

P.S Sorry for the wall of text.

 

[Emm]

What do you believe the typical poly demographic to be?

 

[Evie]

I've seen enough of these type of posts by now that I just have to say something.

You'd be my perfect fuck buddy!! lol And if the sex was that good, then we'd probably end up in a relationship too <g>

So, we are out here, but there's probably more of us in the antipodes than in North America (ok, so I'm assuming you're there, but most people with the "there's no women" complaint, are), although we don't have a good sample of Aussies and Kiwis on this forum to confirm it.

Hint: look for the tom boys. Like Daisy Duke.

 

[Respectablegains]

To Emm, well I am not sure, But I do live in the pacific northwest and Kink and Poly seem to go hand in hand here.

Evie, well If I am ever in new zealand or your in the puget sound drop me a line

 

[vinsanity0]

I do think us guys are at a disadvantage. Patience definitely pays off. Poly cuts across all demographics. Not all kinksters are poly and not all poly are kinksters. I really don't see any correlation there. I'm also not sure why you think being tall would somehow leave you outside the "demographic". People are just people.

 

[FallenAngelina]

Hi Respectable - I answered you in your other thread.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Respectablegains,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Small world; last year I lived in Olympia.

I also responded in your other thread, check it out. Yes, patience will serve you well I think. As for where to find poly people ...

• https://fetlife.com/ (yes vanilla polys can be found here)
• https://en.lovoo.com/#/ (a dating site)
• http://www.okcupid.com/ ("the" dating site)
• http://www.facebook.com/ (poly groups can be found here)
• http://www.beyondtwo.com/ (a dating site)
• http://www.polygroups.com/ (poly groups can be found here)
• https://www.openminded.com/ (a dating site)
• http://polyamory.meetup.com/ (poly groups can be found here)
• http://adultfriendfinder.com/ (a dating site)
• http://www.polymatchmaker.com/ (a dating site)
• http://www.polyamory.org/SF/groups.html (list of poly groups)
• http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups (poly groups can be found here)
• http://openingup.net/resources/local-orginizations-u-s/ (list of poly groups)
• http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=83656#post83656 (poly groups can be found here)
• http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=13 (local ads can be placed here)

Hopefully that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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