New Aussie guy
- Thread starter Tiberius
- Start date
IndieSolo
Active member
Wow, that's quite an impatient, defeatist attitude.
Hurt by what? A coworker you're friendly with cancelled on you and you're taking it personally? Ahem... it seems obvious to me that she doesn't know she's a "potential partner" in your mind. She may have a sense that you like each other and get along, but she's unaware that you've got an ulterior motive. You're just a "work friend" to her, it seems - she's really done nothing wrong!
Friends do that. Maybe when you were ten years old, that would've made her your girlfriend, but to many adults, that is just a friendly gesture and a comfortable non-sexual intimacy shared between friends. Methinks you've projected a great deal of fantasies onto something very sweet and platonic.
Jerked around? Well, honestly, I am really glad for her that you're no longer interested. Clearly you expect an awful lot when all you've got is some wild imaginings going on in your head. She probably backed off because she could sense what high maintenance you are when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
I think you would benefit from seeing situations for what they are, not what you hope them to be.
Woah, relax. This isn't the first time weve made plans and then shes cancelled on me. And when she cancels and then I dont find out until I chase her up, I think I have a right to be a bit annoyed.
Of course she doesnt know. But like I said, when I make plans with a friend and then she cancels and doesnt tell me until I chase her up, I have a right to be upset. Its generally considered common courtesy to keep people informed of changes that can afgect them, isnt it?
Did I say that made her my girlfriend? I mentioned it as something that showed me that she likes me.
Methinks you are jumping to conclusions without having the full picture.
Yeah, what kind of horrible person am I to expect a bit of courtesy from my friends. Clerly I shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. Come on, everything that ive read is about how poly people communicate like hell. And thats something I do anyway, with everyone. So how can you say that I should be okay with very little communication? How would you feel if a friend of yours that you had plans with cancelled and didnt bother to tell you until you asked if ecerything was still good to go? And parficularly with both of us being shift workers it makes it harder for us to orfanise time to get together, as we dont know far ahead of time when our days off will be.
If evedyone did that, I dont think we'd ever end up in relationships at all.
We had a blast! Got home late though, and I had to get up early, so I've been pretty tired today. But Ro and I had a great time there, and Ro (who's poly-curious at the moment) has come away with a greater understanding of what polyamory is.
And tonight she's gone to a munch being held by a BDSM group she's joined on the net. She's not home yet (still on the way home), but she's told me she's had a great time and met a few poly people there as well!
And tonight she's gone to a munch being held by a BDSM group she's joined on the net. She's not home yet (still on the way home), but she's told me she's had a great time and met a few poly people there as well!
Hopefully I'll be able to join Ro at the next BDSM meet. It's not quite my thing, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable and I'm happy to do it with her.
The poly social thing wasn't very popular, but then it was on Mother's Day. Ah well. And another discussion night coming up, but I'm working. I could probably swap the shift, but it's a nice job, close to home, so I'm not going to.
On the plus side, I spent a few hours with Gwen yesterday at work. Had a chat about some computer stuff and other topics, then sat together in a park for a few hours as well. Good chance I'm going to see her again tomorrow outside work too.
On the plus side, I spent a few hours with Gwen yesterday at work. Had a chat about some computer stuff and other topics, then sat together in a park for a few hours as well. Good chance I'm going to see her again tomorrow outside work too.
Well, some good news and some bad. She got called in for a job, so we had to cancel the get together outside of work. But I did come in and see her at work, spent a few hours together while she was working. Not as long as I would have liked, of course, but better than nothing.
And I told her I am poly as well. She didn't know what it meant, so I gave her a very quick definition about having deep emotional relationships with more than one person at a time. She took it okay, didn't freak out or anything. And she made a bit of a joke about needing to keep an eye on me, and there wasn't any seriousness there. So I'm thinking she's cool with me being poly. So hopefully things are looking good.
And I told her I am poly as well. She didn't know what it meant, so I gave her a very quick definition about having deep emotional relationships with more than one person at a time. She took it okay, didn't freak out or anything. And she made a bit of a joke about needing to keep an eye on me, and there wasn't any seriousness there. So I'm thinking she's cool with me being poly. So hopefully things are looking good.