New Board Space Idea

Is the request to have a separate area for "Monogamous but like talking about Polyamory"? (is that what you mean by "not poly any longer"?) I would tend to agree with FallenAngelina, the existing areas are for exactly that aren't they?

I think you're trying to fix something that is doing exactly what you want it to do already. Or is there something about the unique perspective of someone who was poly, and isn't any longer that requires it have a specific area?

I'm not trying to be a dick, I really am curious about what this perspective is and why it should be kept in a distinct area.
 
Marcus said:
I really am curious about what this perspective is and why it should be kept in a distinct area.
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The exhuming of this old thread reminded me that there used to be a good handful of former-poly people here. As far as I know, I'm the only one around anymore. I have no idea why there was or would be a push to cordon off that topic or those people.
 
I guess I'm still wanting clarification on what it means to be formerly poly. I am currently only in a romantic relationship with one person, does that make me monogamous? (spoiler alert: it doesn't)

I've seen those disagreements in the past, so I'm wondering if that's part of what is happening here.

It doesn't matter really, this is an ancient thread, but since it was necro'd I figured I'd jump in and put my nose where it doesn't belong :p
 
Its not a cordoning off just a way to access stories about people closing as well as opening etc. That's all. At least that was my intention on it.

I guess it depends on what you view as polyamory as an identity, a lifestyle choice etc. I didn't want to derail the origional topic with sementics and honestly don't have a good answer on how one knows if they are no longer poly or not. Its like asking the taste of salt if you never tasted it and haven't been to the ocean. It's really difficult to describe.
 
starlight1 said:
how one knows if they are no longer poly or not.
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I know!

About five years ago, I started exploring polyamory, having come from a mono marriage, but also having always been open to and aware of non-exclusive relationships. I'm friends with a good number of poly people and even more swingers who socialize with their lovers (poly-likary or some such.) I had a married poly BF in the early years after my divorce and he is great - one of the best relationships I've had - but over the course of time I came to realize that my heart is monogamous. At the time I would have said that I was poly, no question about it. We had a really good thing going. Nothing dramatic happened, I just came to know that my heart truly works one on one. Like Marcus, having one lover doesn't make him monogamous and having several lovers doesn't make me poly. It's just something you feel and know is true. Try as I might, I have no ability to love more than one person "that way" at a time. I see many people around me who can love this way, I've personally had really good experiences with poly situations, I'm totally down with poly as an option, but my heart has a one-at-a-time operating system. There's just no amount of education or exposure that would change it.
 
starlight1 said:
No worries just curious.
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FallenAngelina said:
I know!

About five years ago, I started exploring polyamory, having come from a mono marriage, but also having always been open to and aware of non-exclusive relationships. I'm friends with a good number of poly people and even more swingers who socialize with their lovers (poly-likary or some such.) I had a married poly BF in the early years after my divorce and he is great - one of the best relationships I've had - but over the course of time I came to realize that my heart is monogamous. Nothing dramatic happened, I just came to know it. Like Marcus, having one lover doesn't make him monogamous and having several lovers doesn't make me poly. It's just something you feel and know is true. Try as I might, I have no ability to love more than one person "that way" at a time. I see many people around me who can love this way, I've personally had really good experiences with poly situations, I'm totally down with poly as an option, but my heart has a one-at-a-time operating system. There's just no amount of education or exposure that would change it.
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This is so well written :) I am glad you figured it out on your journey.

Maybe we don't need a non poly area just a place to discuss what post poly world looks like for each of us. Like a continuum.
 
FallenAngelina said:
I have no idea why there was or would be a push to cordon off that topic
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Me either. The only reason I went quiet is because of real life (not a lot of anything going on last year!) and the ever pervasive feeling that lgbtq being not protected in the usa due to politics. But, really I should have contributed more not less during those times. Other than this I'm not sure why people who were poly aren't contributing as much.
 
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