Hi,
This feels so weird posting on here, but at the same time it feels like I've finally found a community of people I finally connect with.
My whole life, I've been confused at the actions and reactions of people I've been in relationships with. I've always been so eager for all my friends and connections to get along, trying so hard to stay connected and friends with exes from my monogamous relationships. But it always seems to go bad, as exes, new partners or people I'm interested in always seem to feel so terrible meeting each other. I've gone through my whole life with awkward situations coming up of various kinds and my monogamous relationships always failing, while I stayed surprised or confused by my partners feelings.
For me, I was excited to meet an exes partner, I was so happy to see them happy with someone new. I wanted to hear all about it and there was nothing nicer than being around people who were just happy together. But for my partners, it was an awkward, emotional, jealous feeling to hear about anyone I was interested in or was seeing.
I thought it was just me, or maybe I had unrealistic expectations about people, feelings and situations. I literally felt like I was having to figure other people out, learn what stuff was okay and what wasnt
In the end, I learnt to just cut off any old partners and not see them for a long time before trying to reconnect, and I'd never try and mingle anyone who showed any interest in me, for fear that it'd upset them badly.
That I didn't get these feelings or feel the same way myself made me feel like a bit of a freak.
When I finally found out properly about polyamoury, it felt like such a relief to find people who seemed to get it. That wanted to see other people happy, that didn't want to restrict each other in finding and meeting new and interesting, wonderful people and wanted to share those experiences.
I still don't know any polyamorous people in my normal life. I'm hoping I can meet some of you cool people on here and hopefully draw on your advice while I try to figure this all out for me.
Good to meet cha all!
A bit about my personal situation, I've unfortunately come to this realisation about myself while I'm in a very happy relationship with my best friend. She's amazing and we've grown together so much. Unfortunately, she is mono and I've told her about my feelings. She took it hard at first, feeling like she wasn't enough and feeling hurt, jealous, confused and defensive. We're trying to figure this out together and see what this means for us. It has some ups and downs but we've already agreed that no matter what happens, if we break up or stay together, that it's for the best and will be good for both of us, as long as we're honest with each other, and completely open with our feelings.
Things feel so much better since I've... I guess come out to her about how I feel.
Any advice on how to approach this from here would be sooooo appreciated.
This feels so weird posting on here, but at the same time it feels like I've finally found a community of people I finally connect with.
My whole life, I've been confused at the actions and reactions of people I've been in relationships with. I've always been so eager for all my friends and connections to get along, trying so hard to stay connected and friends with exes from my monogamous relationships. But it always seems to go bad, as exes, new partners or people I'm interested in always seem to feel so terrible meeting each other. I've gone through my whole life with awkward situations coming up of various kinds and my monogamous relationships always failing, while I stayed surprised or confused by my partners feelings.
For me, I was excited to meet an exes partner, I was so happy to see them happy with someone new. I wanted to hear all about it and there was nothing nicer than being around people who were just happy together. But for my partners, it was an awkward, emotional, jealous feeling to hear about anyone I was interested in or was seeing.
I thought it was just me, or maybe I had unrealistic expectations about people, feelings and situations. I literally felt like I was having to figure other people out, learn what stuff was okay and what wasnt
In the end, I learnt to just cut off any old partners and not see them for a long time before trying to reconnect, and I'd never try and mingle anyone who showed any interest in me, for fear that it'd upset them badly.
That I didn't get these feelings or feel the same way myself made me feel like a bit of a freak.
When I finally found out properly about polyamoury, it felt like such a relief to find people who seemed to get it. That wanted to see other people happy, that didn't want to restrict each other in finding and meeting new and interesting, wonderful people and wanted to share those experiences.
I still don't know any polyamorous people in my normal life. I'm hoping I can meet some of you cool people on here and hopefully draw on your advice while I try to figure this all out for me.
Good to meet cha all!
A bit about my personal situation, I've unfortunately come to this realisation about myself while I'm in a very happy relationship with my best friend. She's amazing and we've grown together so much. Unfortunately, she is mono and I've told her about my feelings. She took it hard at first, feeling like she wasn't enough and feeling hurt, jealous, confused and defensive. We're trying to figure this out together and see what this means for us. It has some ups and downs but we've already agreed that no matter what happens, if we break up or stay together, that it's for the best and will be good for both of us, as long as we're honest with each other, and completely open with our feelings.
Things feel so much better since I've... I guess come out to her about how I feel.
Any advice on how to approach this from here would be sooooo appreciated.
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