New Here, New to Poly...

[silencebreaking]

Let's see... I'm 35, new to poly (first poly relationship), and full of questions (which is why I love forums, because I know I'm not the only one with questions - and there are so many possible answers!).

For a long time, I moved from one relationship to another, with most of my relationships lasting less than 10 months. My longest relationship was with my ex-fiance (almost four years). Since ending that relationship, I've dated some, but hadn't found someone with whom I felt really comfortable and had a connection with until I met my current partner a little over two months ago.

We met at a friends Halloween party. I knew he was poly when we met as he was very open with that fact, and initially didn't think anything of it... We had several shared interests, and started developing a friendship. He organized a game night for friends, I went. We carpooled to another friends home for a Friendsgiving party. We got together for movie nights at my place. We talked (primarily via text messaging of some variety) on a daily basis... and then we realized that we both saw potential for more. And what started as friendship, is turning into something serious enough that we've met the parents and extended family over the holidays.

So now I'm trying to learn more about poly, and how other people handle various situations that may come up in a poly dynamic.

 

[JaneQSmythe]

Hello and welcome!

I hope that you will find your time here well spent. There are many different paths that can lead to poly and many different ways to practice in real life.

You are two months in and things seem to have developed quite organically so far. But you are still really just getting to know each other. You have recognized that the friendship is developing into more - good start. Now you have to figure out what that means to the two of you.

My relationship with MrS started as friends/friends-with-benefits. It was about at the 6 month mark that I recognized that feelings had developed. But I didn't really have any clue as to what to do with that information as I had never been in any sort of "relationship" before. We talked, we learned, we had our misunderstandings, we resolved them. (Long version of the story in my Journey blog here). I think the most important part for me was talking about assumptions and expectations early on - and periodically "checking in" to make sure that we were still on the same page. That beginning was 22+ years ago...

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings silencebreaking,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you are at an exciting crossroads and just getting acquainted with how poly works. I hope Polyamory.com can answer your questions for you. Indeed, you'll find there's a wide range of answers, just as there's a wide range of poly people.

Good to have you with us, and I hope we'll bump into each other often.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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