I am married, have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 8. I have two children who he has raised since they were barely walking (one wasn't even crawling)...in the beginning of our marriage he cheated four times. I found out each time and was FURIOUS...not because he cheated, but because he didn't tell me anything. I stopped using his computer, stopped checking his phone if it went off (if he was in the shower, I would check and tell him "So and So texted, do you want your phone or want me to reply?"), and basically told him- do what you want, if I"m going to find it, you better tell me first, if you dont want me to know about it...better hide it.
Four years ago I had a girl friend. Hubby was very "pro" this choice for me and I was able to talk quite openly about it. She would come to the house when he was there, we were all on facebook together and they would even text back and forth! It was awesome (till she went nutso and I broke it off)...that was the first of two relationships I've had while married.
Flash forward to about a year ago. I realized I wanted the open marriage. I wanted to delve back into BDSM and I knew that my marriage wasn't conducive to that sort of dynamic (we'd tried numerous mixes, but I CAN"T be knocked out of headspace in that type of relationship or for me, it all falls apart! Marriage and kids and responsibilities in the house knock me out of the mindset in a dynamic in the home)...so I bit the bullet and told him. I was fully prepared for him to kick me out and leave me. He accepted it and we talked extensively about it. I started looking for a Dom.
I found a Dom that might be a good fit, and was a bit hesitant because his outlook on poly, being a Dom and relationships were different than mine, but I wanted to give it a go. Hubby took that hit really really hard. He was a straight out jerk and we had a huge fight (several in fact). I ended up breaking up with the Dom and to save feelings and my marriage told hubby I wanted him to be my Dom and only him...then family tragedy struck and hubby shut down. He was inaccessible to me--emotionally, physically, mentally. He was gone. I couldn't bring him back.
As the tragedy was winding it's way down...and hubby was still in a hole...I stumbled across someone who would fit in a dynamic with me. This time, I wanted to have all the information before I presented my case to my husband. Maybe if I had a plan and a strategy, it would go better than before. I did tell hubby that I needed to get back into BDSM play. I wanted a partner. He said go for it, thinking I was looking for just a FWB...well, I ended up falling in love with this one. I did NOT fall OUT of love with hubby, a fact that hubby has a hard time swallowing.
NewGuy is married and his wife is trying to date someone also...they are also new to poly. Hubby has dated a few girls and goes back and forth with "I think I'm more poly than you Bug" and "I can't share you" and just being an all around jerk one day and a great thoughtful man the next. NewGuy is trying to ease his wife into everything....and she's awesome! I love her...but there are some philosophies that she's clinging to that I"m trying to understand and discuss with her when the time is right (that's another post)...
SO in a nutshell...that's me!
Four years ago I had a girl friend. Hubby was very "pro" this choice for me and I was able to talk quite openly about it. She would come to the house when he was there, we were all on facebook together and they would even text back and forth! It was awesome (till she went nutso and I broke it off)...that was the first of two relationships I've had while married.
Flash forward to about a year ago. I realized I wanted the open marriage. I wanted to delve back into BDSM and I knew that my marriage wasn't conducive to that sort of dynamic (we'd tried numerous mixes, but I CAN"T be knocked out of headspace in that type of relationship or for me, it all falls apart! Marriage and kids and responsibilities in the house knock me out of the mindset in a dynamic in the home)...so I bit the bullet and told him. I was fully prepared for him to kick me out and leave me. He accepted it and we talked extensively about it. I started looking for a Dom.
I found a Dom that might be a good fit, and was a bit hesitant because his outlook on poly, being a Dom and relationships were different than mine, but I wanted to give it a go. Hubby took that hit really really hard. He was a straight out jerk and we had a huge fight (several in fact). I ended up breaking up with the Dom and to save feelings and my marriage told hubby I wanted him to be my Dom and only him...then family tragedy struck and hubby shut down. He was inaccessible to me--emotionally, physically, mentally. He was gone. I couldn't bring him back.
As the tragedy was winding it's way down...and hubby was still in a hole...I stumbled across someone who would fit in a dynamic with me. This time, I wanted to have all the information before I presented my case to my husband. Maybe if I had a plan and a strategy, it would go better than before. I did tell hubby that I needed to get back into BDSM play. I wanted a partner. He said go for it, thinking I was looking for just a FWB...well, I ended up falling in love with this one. I did NOT fall OUT of love with hubby, a fact that hubby has a hard time swallowing.
NewGuy is married and his wife is trying to date someone also...they are also new to poly. Hubby has dated a few girls and goes back and forth with "I think I'm more poly than you Bug" and "I can't share you" and just being an all around jerk one day and a great thoughtful man the next. NewGuy is trying to ease his wife into everything....and she's awesome! I love her...but there are some philosophies that she's clinging to that I"m trying to understand and discuss with her when the time is right (that's another post)...
SO in a nutshell...that's me!
