Hello I just joined and I'd like to introduce myself.
I'm Jennifer [not my real name] and you can call me Jenn if you like. I live in Prince Edward Island Canada. I'm 47 years old, married with kids. My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years.
While I love my husband a great deal, its never been a sexual type of love. We only have sex a handful of times a year and this has been the case for many years. We have some things in common, and are different in other ways. We are happy in a somewhat bored and content sort of way.
For many years now, I have fantasized about having my cake and eating it too. The idea of a stable marriage to my husband who I love and want to grow old with, but also having one boyfriend - someone to have fun with, date, make love. My husband would be my long-term rock - a boyfriend for excitement with the term not certain in duration.
Over the last several years I have hinted about this to my husband - trying to test his reaction. I have suggested in an off hand light hearted way maybe he should have a girlfriend. I have suggested a trial separation so we could date others. I have remarked in a light hearted way that maybe I need a boyfriend.
He rejected the idea of a trial separation - on the basis that such an action could end our marriage and that our marriage was good and worth preserving. Honestly, I agreed with him privately and made sure that I communicated that with him. He also said that he had no desire himself to experience another woman. But he said that if I felt the need for a 'friend' that we could discuss this. I told him at the time that it was just a fantasy, but it might move into reality if the right 'somebody' came along. He said enjoy the fantasy, but maybe we should discuss now what to do if somebody did come along.
So, we did discuss it. I told him that I would want to keep it a secret - that he would never know. He told me that things like that come out eventually, and with the secret approach he would always be suspicious. I told him that I would want to be discreet and not sharing details and he said he understood all that - but he would need to know when I found somebody, meet them with me and give his final ok. After that, it would just be, darling I'm meeting up with Joe tonight at 7, for dinner then back to his place, I'll be back before midnight type of thing.
I told him I could see his point, and I agreed that if I found someone, I would tell him. We agreed to that and that we would discuss things then.
Last week I met a guy that pushed all the right buttons. He is 12 years younger than me, not married. Definitely not the marrying type either. We made out but did not go all the way. I guess its time to tell my husband.
I thought I'd join this forum to get some feedback and advice.
Thanks all!
Jenn
I'm Jennifer [not my real name] and you can call me Jenn if you like. I live in Prince Edward Island Canada. I'm 47 years old, married with kids. My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years.
While I love my husband a great deal, its never been a sexual type of love. We only have sex a handful of times a year and this has been the case for many years. We have some things in common, and are different in other ways. We are happy in a somewhat bored and content sort of way.
For many years now, I have fantasized about having my cake and eating it too. The idea of a stable marriage to my husband who I love and want to grow old with, but also having one boyfriend - someone to have fun with, date, make love. My husband would be my long-term rock - a boyfriend for excitement with the term not certain in duration.
Over the last several years I have hinted about this to my husband - trying to test his reaction. I have suggested in an off hand light hearted way maybe he should have a girlfriend. I have suggested a trial separation so we could date others. I have remarked in a light hearted way that maybe I need a boyfriend.
He rejected the idea of a trial separation - on the basis that such an action could end our marriage and that our marriage was good and worth preserving. Honestly, I agreed with him privately and made sure that I communicated that with him. He also said that he had no desire himself to experience another woman. But he said that if I felt the need for a 'friend' that we could discuss this. I told him at the time that it was just a fantasy, but it might move into reality if the right 'somebody' came along. He said enjoy the fantasy, but maybe we should discuss now what to do if somebody did come along.
So, we did discuss it. I told him that I would want to keep it a secret - that he would never know. He told me that things like that come out eventually, and with the secret approach he would always be suspicious. I told him that I would want to be discreet and not sharing details and he said he understood all that - but he would need to know when I found somebody, meet them with me and give his final ok. After that, it would just be, darling I'm meeting up with Joe tonight at 7, for dinner then back to his place, I'll be back before midnight type of thing.
I told him I could see his point, and I agreed that if I found someone, I would tell him. We agreed to that and that we would discuss things then.
Last week I met a guy that pushed all the right buttons. He is 12 years younger than me, not married. Definitely not the marrying type either. We made out but did not go all the way. I guess its time to tell my husband.
I thought I'd join this forum to get some feedback and advice.
Thanks all!
Jenn
