Hi everyone. My name is Dave, I'm 35 and married to my wife for 10 years. My wife has always been bi, and I've always known that. Her first relationships when she was young were with women, but they were always secreted and difficult and she has always struggled with that part of herself. We have been mono throughout our entire marriage, but recently, she has been rediscovering her attraction to women and broached the subject with me about exploring sexual relationships. At first the idea was that this would just be for her, without me, because it's kind of something that she felt she needed to figure out on her own.
Frankly, it's been a struggle for me. I have never judged her in any way for her orientation and I have always wanted to support her and help her through whatever she needs, but at first, the very idea of "sharing" my wife with anyone was/is difficult. Coincidentally, right around that time, a bi friend of ours was recently divorced and wanting to go out on the town...so we all did and my wife and I agreed that if any chemistry were there between the two of them, she had my blessing to act on it. We came back to our place and ultimately had an amazing threesome...which was not the plan, but just how it turned out.
We have been talking more and more, in fact, our all-around communication has never been better, and it's actually opened me up to be able to address a lot of personal issues and insecurities and baggage that I have carried my entire life. She is currently exploring a possible "relationship" with another woman and I, again, have struggled with feelings of exclusion, anger, inadequacy, etc. But again....we talk and talk and talk and I feel like it's been great for us. I'm at peace with where she's at right now (literally) and we've even discussed opening up options for me, in terms of other partners. We have our rules and limits defined for the moment, but they seem to be ever evolving and changing but the nice thing is that we are able to talk all of this to death and have seriously open and honest talks, which has been great for us overall.
And that's kind of where I stand....very very new to all of this and still processing and trying to figure out my level of "ok-ness" and what I need and want and how to proceed in a positive way...or not, if it turns out to not be positive.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story and thanks for this amazing resource for all of us newbie's struggling with emotions. I look forward to reading and learning from your stories.
Frankly, it's been a struggle for me. I have never judged her in any way for her orientation and I have always wanted to support her and help her through whatever she needs, but at first, the very idea of "sharing" my wife with anyone was/is difficult. Coincidentally, right around that time, a bi friend of ours was recently divorced and wanting to go out on the town...so we all did and my wife and I agreed that if any chemistry were there between the two of them, she had my blessing to act on it. We came back to our place and ultimately had an amazing threesome...which was not the plan, but just how it turned out.
We have been talking more and more, in fact, our all-around communication has never been better, and it's actually opened me up to be able to address a lot of personal issues and insecurities and baggage that I have carried my entire life. She is currently exploring a possible "relationship" with another woman and I, again, have struggled with feelings of exclusion, anger, inadequacy, etc. But again....we talk and talk and talk and I feel like it's been great for us. I'm at peace with where she's at right now (literally) and we've even discussed opening up options for me, in terms of other partners. We have our rules and limits defined for the moment, but they seem to be ever evolving and changing but the nice thing is that we are able to talk all of this to death and have seriously open and honest talks, which has been great for us overall.
And that's kind of where I stand....very very new to all of this and still processing and trying to figure out my level of "ok-ness" and what I need and want and how to proceed in a positive way...or not, if it turns out to not be positive.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story and thanks for this amazing resource for all of us newbie's struggling with emotions. I look forward to reading and learning from your stories.
