New poly relationship need help

[Sunshire08]

I am very new to the poly dynamic. I have been with my fiancee for 6 years, engaged for 2 years. I have recently started a poly relationship along side of my fiancee. We both met a lovely and amazing woman and fallen head over heels for her, but i am struggling.

When the relationship first started back in September it was strictly online through chat and web cam. We decided to meet in person in November and it was great. By the time my fiancee and I had to come home from the visit we were devastated and didn't want to leave her. Well we moved to where she lived in February. But when we move here everything changed. They spend all of their free time together while I'm left out of everything. When I walk in a room that they were just laughing and talking in they stop and go quiet.

When my fiancee works and me and the gf are off together and make plans to spend one on one time together, she always makes excuses so we don't. When the fiancee comes home after walking her home if she hangs out with us after work, she immediately messages him till he goes to bed which is normally with in the hour of walking her back. And if I try to spend time with him during that time he just says he is to tired and goes to bed.

I have tried to explain how I feel and for a short time things change but with in a week sometimes two weeks everything goes back to how it was.

A good example of this is I got injured at work about a week ago. And instead of doing anything to help me out all week they ignored me. But when she get hurt even just a scratch he makes sure she has help with anything she needs.

Tonight I told him how much I miss spending time with him and how I never get my needs filled even if it was just sitting on the couch cuddling watching a movie and he got mad and said he was tired and just wanted to sleep. I told him that makes me feel like I'm not important anymore which only mad him mad.


I dont know what to do anymore. I thought by now things would settle and go back to normal but im starting to worry that I'm just part of the relationship for name sake and nothing more. I'm sorry this thread is so long but I would really appreciate some advice.

 

[Evie]

This is why we have engagements, not to plan spectacular weddings, but to be absolutely sure that the compatibility is there and that the relationship is a truly great and supportive one.

You've discovered that yours isn't.

Appreciate it for what it was but that it's not going to get any better and is already not what you want. Cut your losses and move on from him, and them. They aren't your life mates.

Reason, season, lifetime... this season is over. Go find a person or persons who will be better for you.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello Sunshire08,

It sounds like your fiancé has found a new love interest, and he is no longer interested in you. I know you don't want to break up with him, but could you at least put any wedding plans on hold? Don't marry this guy until he starts treating you right.

The woman you guys were dating has also lost interest in you. I don't know why she doesn't break up with you, maybe she wants you to be the one who does the breaking up. Whatever the case, I don't think that relationship can be salvaged. She doesn't want you, she wants your fiancé.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.