New to being poly and need your advice

[Ravenscroft]

Wow, Magdlyn. Okay, so (IMNSHO) a teensy bit over-the-top... but not entirely unwarranted, & definitely Needs To Be Said. Kudos.

What's disappointing for me is being openly poly for almost 35 years, doing some small bit to set an example, & seeing so little improvement to the world, even in my social circle. Worse is women I've been close to who went back to seeking relationships with guys who're manipulative, controlling, whiny, emotionally abusive...

...then expecting I'd be able to tell 'em how to "make it work."

Ugh.

Oh, to live long enough to see a serious Lysistrata movement.

 

[Magdlyn]

Wow, Magdlyn. Okay, so (IMNSHO) a teensy bit over-the-top... but not entirely unwarranted, & definitely Needs To Be Said. Kudos.

What's disappointing for me is being openly poly for almost 35 years, doing some small bit to set an example, & seeing so little improvement to the world, even in my social circle.

Well, we can't expect to see much improvement in women's lot (or people of color's lot, or LGBT folks' lot) in 35, or 135 years. We have approximately 3000 years of patriarchy to overcome; 2000 years of white male patriarchy in the current era.

We just have to keep fighting and setting examples.

Oh, to live long enough to see a serious Lysistrata movement.

Deny men sex to get our way? Um, women have tried that. Women do that all the time. Does it work? No, because women like sex too. It's cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I was telling some OKC guy about having been raped/sexually assaulted 3 times. He was kind enough to say, "Ugh, all you chicks need guns." I replied, "No. Men need to stop being assholes."

 

[Ravenscroft]

I didn't mean to make it so reductionist as merely withholding of sex. But I don't think that libidos are so high AND there's so few passably human males out there that it makes sense for women to continue feeding the bloated egos; "getting laid once in a while" seems like a thin upside.