TheExplorer
Member
Hello All,
It's taking me a lot of courage to finally open up here but finally I think I can do this. So here it goes:
My wife and I have been married for 20 years. No children because of various fertility issues. They're resolved on my end but she's at the age where she doesn't want to have children. We have spent much time both together and living apart since she is from Taiwan and I am from the USA, and I travel to Taiwan often for business.
So it happened 1 1/2 years my wife started talking a lot about a lady she was travelling with in Taiwan. I had the sense that they were involved but it wasn't until she came back several months later and I confronted her that she finally admitted it to me. She was a bit surprised because I was actually very supportive of her and congratulated her for having the courage to admit what was going on. I was actually the very first person outside of her new relationship to support and comfort her.
On her side it's clear that she's bisexual almost to the point of being lesbian. She like many women got married to try to feel "normal" only later to admit to herself she liked women. On my side, I also want to have sex and children. My wife and I are affectionate but don't have sex anymore; we just feel it will make our other relationships much more complicated if we do. In effect we have what feels like an ideal platonic BFF relationship.
So the challenges we are facing:
1) Her current partner thinks I am a nice person but has difficulty accepting our relationship. It's definitely a work in process. But my wife was open to hear from the start about our being married.
2) It seems to me that either people in my situation either want to mess around, or just go the socially accepted divorce/remarriage route. This doesn't work for me because I care very much about my wife and we are still a big part of each others lives. But also I understand any woman I meet who wants children also wants some sort of security in the relationship, which usually means marriage.
I would enjoy hearing from others on this forum if any of you are in similar situations, and how you have worked through them.
It's taking me a lot of courage to finally open up here but finally I think I can do this. So here it goes:
My wife and I have been married for 20 years. No children because of various fertility issues. They're resolved on my end but she's at the age where she doesn't want to have children. We have spent much time both together and living apart since she is from Taiwan and I am from the USA, and I travel to Taiwan often for business.
So it happened 1 1/2 years my wife started talking a lot about a lady she was travelling with in Taiwan. I had the sense that they were involved but it wasn't until she came back several months later and I confronted her that she finally admitted it to me. She was a bit surprised because I was actually very supportive of her and congratulated her for having the courage to admit what was going on. I was actually the very first person outside of her new relationship to support and comfort her.
On her side it's clear that she's bisexual almost to the point of being lesbian. She like many women got married to try to feel "normal" only later to admit to herself she liked women. On my side, I also want to have sex and children. My wife and I are affectionate but don't have sex anymore; we just feel it will make our other relationships much more complicated if we do. In effect we have what feels like an ideal platonic BFF relationship.
So the challenges we are facing:
1) Her current partner thinks I am a nice person but has difficulty accepting our relationship. It's definitely a work in process. But my wife was open to hear from the start about our being married.
2) It seems to me that either people in my situation either want to mess around, or just go the socially accepted divorce/remarriage route. This doesn't work for me because I care very much about my wife and we are still a big part of each others lives. But also I understand any woman I meet who wants children also wants some sort of security in the relationship, which usually means marriage.
I would enjoy hearing from others on this forum if any of you are in similar situations, and how you have worked through them.
