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funcouple

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We are a committed couple from Indiana. We have been trying to find another female to join us for almost 2 years. Not sure if we are just super picky or it truly is that difficult. I'm hoping to use the forums to find better ways to find our 3rd.
 
Welcome! There is lots of helpful information and advice here. The Advanced Search function helps get at what you want more easily. If you have questions or want a general discussion of a topic there are areas here for those.

First thing though, if you have not already come across these links elsewhere in the last couple of years, you may want to check them out so you have a frame of reference for discussions with other poly people.

http://https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/hunting-the-elusive-unicorn/

http://http://polyfor.us/to-unicorn-hunters-from-an-ex-unicorn/

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Leetah
 
Well, most bi poly women don't want to join a couple that only comes as a package deal. While, yes, there are women who enjoy and are turned on by the idea of being involved with a couple, they usually don't want a pre-packaged situation that they're expected to "join." There is no way to guarantee that someone will be attracted to and compatible with two people at the same time, so it's rather unreasonable to expect that. Since it's basically an impossible, futile hope, the woman you're looking for is known in poly circles as a unicorn - because unicorns are mythical and don't actually exist. You might find someone interested in threesomes and recreational sex only, but I am guessing you want a committed triad relationship since you posted here at a poly forum.

If you are open to each of you dating separately, and/or don't have idiotic rules like she can only have sex with both of you at the same time and never one-on-one with either of you individually, OR that she isn't married or "allowed" to also date others besides you two, then you'll have a much better chance of meeting someone. Here are some threads you might find informative and helpful (you can set your preferences in "User CP" to view 100 posts per page, which makes it much easier to read long threads) :

Added to, Joining In

Unicorns & Unicorn Hunters - Merged Threads, General Discussion

What is the appeal of a unicorn?

What's in it for a unicorn?

the unicorn and its hunters


I would also do a Tag Search here for the word "unicorn" and the phrase "unicorn hunters" or "unicorn hunting." Please especially take to heart what has been shared in these threads by the bisexual women who've been targeted by unicorn hunters or who have come out of failed triads. BTW, most triads that start out by people looking for someone to fit into a role of "Third" (rather than developing organically out of meeting someone who clicks with one of you and eventually over time things develop with the other partner on its own without having been expected to go that way), implode disastrously.

Triads are the least stable relationship configuration in polyamory.

Hope this is helpful!
 
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A female what? I guarantee that use of the word "female" will cause many women to not even consider you guys. It implies that your only criteria is a vagina. Women wanted to be treated as more than their sex parts.
 
Greetings funcouple,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I don't know if you have tried OKCupid or not, if you haven't you probably should. Just make sure you're very clear in your profile about what you're looking for.

I hope Polyamory.com can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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