New to this. halp.

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berna

New member
Hi, everybody.

partner & I are trying to open up, and have gotten pretty well there i guess, but...feelings dont make sense, and I get very jealous, and insecure, and tired of dealing with the constant new complications, and...i dont know. I dont know how sustainable poly OR mono is for us (we're both pretty sure mono doesnt work for us longterm) so...where does that leave us?

and i'm having a bad night tonight (i'm out of town and parter is with other partner), and I guess I just wanted to talk to someone, so, hello internet! any advice?
 
Without more specifics, it's hard to give advice. That said, I highly recommend the essays on jealousy at www.morethantwo.com.
 
You know, polyamory is just one kind of responsible non-monogamy. Have you every tried any swing clubs, NSA encounters or FWB's? Just something to think about.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
berna said:
Hi, everybody.

partner & I are trying to open up, and have gotten pretty well there i guess, but...feelings dont make sense, and I get very jealous, and insecure, and tired of dealing with the constant new complications, and...i dont know. I dont know how sustainable poly OR mono is for us (we're both pretty sure mono doesnt work for us longterm) so...where does that leave us?

and i'm having a bad night tonight (i'm out of town and parter is with other partner), and I guess I just wanted to talk to someone, so, hello internet! any advice?
Click to expand...

I hope reading up on jealousy helps. Some people deal with it better than others, and some lucky polys never feel it!

I don't do well with jealousy, and I've been practicing poly on and off since 1999. It helps to break it down into underlying causes. For me, being overwhelmed with other life problems increases jealousy when my bf is trying to date someone new.

You say there are "constant complications." What are they?
 
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