I am a widowed senior who has gotten involved emotionally with a wonderful lady, however she is already in a relationship. I have heard of polyamoury, (is that a word?) but didn't take much interest until now. We both know it will lead to physical intimacy and are comfortable with it but I am still unsure how to handle sharing her. I just hope I'm not stepping into a minefield!
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- Thread starter RoyM
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Greetings RoyM,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
It sounds like polyamory is quite a new thing for you, and you don't quite know if or how you'll be able to get used to it. Polyamory.com should be a good place to answer some of those questions, explore our various threads and boards, see what calls to you, and post whenever you have questions. Polyamory is a real word (polyamoury is an alternative spelling), you can look it up in Wiktionary. Also Wikipedia has an excellent article on it. And there is a really good introduction to it in Poly FAQ.
My one bit of advice, for the moment, is, take it slow. You will not know how you will handle sharing her until you have tried it for awhile. And we (us forum members) won't know how to help you until you can report on what actual difficulties (if any) you end up having. Will you get jealous? Will you have discomfort? insecurity? fear? We don't know yet. So go slow, and keep us posted on how things are going. You might want to start a thread in Poly Relationships Corner, so that you can get more responses from a wider range of people. Although anything you post in this (intro) thread, I'll be following it, so I can respond.
There's a lot to be learned about poly; hopefully we can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
It sounds like polyamory is quite a new thing for you, and you don't quite know if or how you'll be able to get used to it. Polyamory.com should be a good place to answer some of those questions, explore our various threads and boards, see what calls to you, and post whenever you have questions. Polyamory is a real word (polyamoury is an alternative spelling), you can look it up in Wiktionary. Also Wikipedia has an excellent article on it. And there is a really good introduction to it in Poly FAQ.
My one bit of advice, for the moment, is, take it slow. You will not know how you will handle sharing her until you have tried it for awhile. And we (us forum members) won't know how to help you until you can report on what actual difficulties (if any) you end up having. Will you get jealous? Will you have discomfort? insecurity? fear? We don't know yet. So go slow, and keep us posted on how things are going. You might want to start a thread in Poly Relationships Corner, so that you can get more responses from a wider range of people. Although anything you post in this (intro) thread, I'll be following it, so I can respond.
There's a lot to be learned about poly; hopefully we can help.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
PolyNatural
Banned
Yes. You are stepping into a minefield. Fortunately you stepped here first. I've only been blown-up here two or three times ;-)
You have also found polyamory, which is the most honest and meaningful type of romantic relationship I can think of.
When trying to separate facts and well informed opinions from all the rest, you may find this very useful: http://polynatural.org/
Last edited:
Al99
Well-known member
Hi Roy - and welcome to the Forum! Polyamory is indeed a word (without the "u", however)! It is most often defined along the lines of "multiple loving (romantic/sexual) relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved". Polyamory is considered to be "ethical" consensual non-monogamy - so that no one is "cheating" and that all involved are aware of the others involved. In poly, you, your lady partner, and her other partner would all be aware of the situation. You and her partner don't even have to meet - just be aware of the situation. However "metamours" (a poly term for your partner's other partners) often do meet and occasionally become friends or friendly acquaintances - my wife's boyfriend currently lives with my wife and I, and my local girlfriend occasionally joins us all for dinner as well. (Just a little brief introduction to give you an idea of what this all about).
In addition to Kevin and Polynatural's recommendations, you may find this list of resources helpful as well:
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191
There are a number of good books on poly, but many of us believe that the best introduction is: Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino.
We do have a number of experienced poly folks here so please don't hesitate to post any specific questions or thoughts that you may have.
Again, welcome to the Forum!
Al
In addition to Kevin and Polynatural's recommendations, you may find this list of resources helpful as well:
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191
There are a number of good books on poly, but many of us believe that the best introduction is: Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino.
We do have a number of experienced poly folks here so please don't hesitate to post any specific questions or thoughts that you may have.
Again, welcome to the Forum!
Al
Hi Roy. I am a "senior" I guess. I'm 64. I've been living fully polyamorously for 10 years, although I started to get my feet wet in it while still married, back in 1999.
I'm in a long term, live-in relationship (with my female partner, we're both women; see my signature). We both also date others, usually men.
If you have any specific questions about how I/we do this, or how it has gone with the various men I have dated, feel free to ask in our Relationships section, and I will put in my 2 cents.