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fullofquestions

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I have so many questions and i'm not sure where to start.

My husband and i have decided to start a Triad with one of our friends who brought this lifestyle to our attention. We have both always believed that monogamy was not for us but had not dived into it quite yet. We have all 3 discussed many things so far with how the relationship would go and have all agreed on some rules.

I feel one of the few things that is bothering me is the subject of sex. I'm just not sure how to broach the subject and ask it without it coming out wrong. The problem i have is not with them also have a sexual relationship along with us having the sexual relationship, but how does it work?

I am aware there will be times where we may all choose to be with each other at once, or individually, but the individual times...
is it something that is hush hush or like very blatant? Do you tell the other that you are going to have sex, or do you just do it when you want and tell the other later, or not tell them at all?

I hope that makes sense. I"m just very lost with this and am trying to gain as much information as possible to settle my anxiety and go into this without causing some stress.

Thank you for any reply in advance!
 
What you tell each other about sex is entirely up to you. There's no right answer. Some people like hearing details about their partners' sex with other people, and some don't.

If you're worried about it, then you should probably sit down with them beforehand and discuss it. "I know there are going to be times when two of us have sex without the third one. I'd like us to decide now what the boundaries are as far as what we need or want to know about those times."
 
That depends on every bodies comfort levels. In my relationship everyone is free to have sex when they want to( meta and I do not have sex ) He used to get her permission before we had sex and we found that made all 3 of us feel awkward honestly. Usually when all 3 of us are together he has sex with both of us if someone isn't in the mood then he'll ask if it would be ok to have with the other one and then the individual sex is saved for when it's just me and him or him and her. As far as details of their sex life my boyfriend is vey open and likes to share the details. Normally I'm not bothered by it but at the moment I'm 9 months pregnant and just don't wanna hear it so we no longer discuss it. If your comfortable with everybody having sex when they feel like it that seems to me to be the least awkward situation.
 
Hi fullofquestions,

It's really up to the three of you whether any two of you will tell the third one that you two are fixing to have individual sex with each other. My preference is for the two having sex to not have to tell the third person, but that doesn't have to be your preference. Sit down with your companions and seek to come to an agreement about this topic.

I hope that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
I enjoy hearing every detail about my partner's encounters. I've even watched her with her boyfriend in a very public session at a club.

She doesn't want to hear a single detail about my GF. Not her name, not when we go out, nothing!

You need to discover your own boundaries.
 
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