So, I have a bit of a story to go into here, so bear with me.
Short version is this: I've been with my fiance' since 2011 (almost 3 years now). He wants to look into polyamory, but I'm a bit nervous.
Extended version: My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we got together, he already knew I'm transsexual (Male-to-female). Shortly after we started seeing each other, we started to realize that he is trans, too (female-to-male). He's started socially transitioning, changing his appearance and he's been feeling a lot better for it.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Part of the transition process for him is testosterone. He started taking that last September and he couldn't be happier. But since then, it's had a big impact on his libido. Specifically, he wants sex more, he tends to look at women (not just me) more and boobs kinda hypnotise him now. And I kinda expected a lot of that. But he's also started showing interest in polyamory and that is making me deal with some other feelings of my own.
Before we were together, I went through my fair share of relationships and nearly every single one of them ended when my partner left me for someone else. I had even attempted a polyamorus relationship, back about 10 or so years ago when I was married before, but wound up getting left for the other person. So when my man suggests it now, I worry that he's going to wind up leaving me for the other person and that scares me; I adore the guy.
But, at the same time, there's a part of me that's kinda an asshole because, I kinda want to open up our relationship, sexually, and experience other people. I'm not going for it, though, not because I don't really want to or because I can't, but because if I did, I would be kinda obligated to let him do the same and I'm not comfortable with that.
And we talk about this, so it's not some big secret between us. Where we seem to be is that he isn't going to push it because he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable, but at the same time, I don't want to restrict him.... even though I worry that I'd be uncomfortable with him going out with someone else.
So, I guess I'm here to learn and se what happens from there. Yeah, hell of an intro, I know. Anyway, anything you can say/do/explain and I'll be very grateful.
Short version is this: I've been with my fiance' since 2011 (almost 3 years now). He wants to look into polyamory, but I'm a bit nervous.
Extended version: My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we got together, he already knew I'm transsexual (Male-to-female). Shortly after we started seeing each other, we started to realize that he is trans, too (female-to-male). He's started socially transitioning, changing his appearance and he's been feeling a lot better for it.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Part of the transition process for him is testosterone. He started taking that last September and he couldn't be happier. But since then, it's had a big impact on his libido. Specifically, he wants sex more, he tends to look at women (not just me) more and boobs kinda hypnotise him now. And I kinda expected a lot of that. But he's also started showing interest in polyamory and that is making me deal with some other feelings of my own.
Before we were together, I went through my fair share of relationships and nearly every single one of them ended when my partner left me for someone else. I had even attempted a polyamorus relationship, back about 10 or so years ago when I was married before, but wound up getting left for the other person. So when my man suggests it now, I worry that he's going to wind up leaving me for the other person and that scares me; I adore the guy.
But, at the same time, there's a part of me that's kinda an asshole because, I kinda want to open up our relationship, sexually, and experience other people. I'm not going for it, though, not because I don't really want to or because I can't, but because if I did, I would be kinda obligated to let him do the same and I'm not comfortable with that.
And we talk about this, so it's not some big secret between us. Where we seem to be is that he isn't going to push it because he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable, but at the same time, I don't want to restrict him.... even though I worry that I'd be uncomfortable with him going out with someone else.
So, I guess I'm here to learn and se what happens from there. Yeah, hell of an intro, I know. Anyway, anything you can say/do/explain and I'll be very grateful.
