Not sure what to do.

[GalaGirl]

Let me repeat this back so I know I have it right.

• Lily - has a house, with her son Nick currently living there. He eventually wants to move out.
• Kiri - has a house, Jolene lives in this house. You visit Jolene there.
  • I think you could sometimes pick Jolene up and go elsewhere.
  • Start making that a routine NOW.
  • Stop doing overnights there. Or if you do, take the couch. Stop sharing a bed with Kiri.
• You and Kiri also own a 2nd house that you both want to sell.
  • Are you doing work on it? Contractors doing work on it?
  • Can you live there til it does sell? Then just visit the other people at their houses?
  • When you get your cut of the sale, what's your plan? To get a flat by yourself? Could you get one now?

I could be wrong but you don't seem to have a good sense of self.

Like you just float along with whatever the stronger personalities want. Or whatever seems "easiest" in the moment rather than what is "healthiest."

GG

 

[MightBeNormal]

Are you doing work on it? Contractors doing work on it?

yes I am in the process of fixing it.

Can you live there til it does sell? Then just visit the other people at their houses?

I can't live there but there is a 3rd bedroom at Kiri's

When you get your cut of the sale, what's your plan? To get a flat by yourself? Could you get one now?

When Sold the things we need to do are.

• Pay off debt.
• Put a more $ down on Kiri's house to get it in her name.
• Put some money away for Jolene for school.

Paying off Debt leaves me with the freedom to buy a small condo if I want.

I could be wrong but you don't seem to have a good sense of self.

Like you just float along with whatever the stronger personalities want. Or whatever seems "easiest" in the moment rather than what is "healthiest."

I feel like trying to help has put me behind the 8 ball a little but I do feel like there is an end in sight to be free and not have anyone's life come crashing down.

 

[GalaGirl]

Thank you for more info.

I can't live there but there is a 3rd bedroom at Kiri's

Then take the 3rd bedroom and stop sharing Kiri's bed.

Paying off Debt leaves me with the freedom to buy a small condo if I want.

Then you can think about that then. Kiri in Kiri house. You in your condo. Totally separate homes.

I feel like trying to help has put me behind the 8 ball a little but I do feel like there is an end in sight to be free and not have anyone's life come crashing down.

Well, keep on with detangling.

And in future? Don't put you behind the 8 ball like that again. You count as a person with needs too. You can't always be last in line.

You put your own oxygen mask on first before trying to help other people.

GG