stillshocked
New member
Hi everybody. We're new here, having just stumbled onto this site earlier today, and have checked out some of the very interesting threads.
We are a couple from Ontario that has recently "come out" to each other, in the sense that we want to open up our relationship in some way. To us, this seemed pretty groundbreaking, and then we read 20 or 30 threads and we seem a million times less groundbreaking than before!
We shall cut to the chase...here in our part of Ontario, it seems pretty challenging to meet anyone that's into what we're looking for. What are we looking for? We're not exactly sure. That's part of the conundrum.
We're been together for 10 years, and 7 months ago we agreed that we want another female to join our relationship in some way. We're not sure if it should be long term, short term. Basically, we keep saying that we're not sure if we want to "bring her home for Christmas to meet Grandma," if that makes any sense. At the same time, we've been going out, meeting new people, going on dating sites (that don't really support polyamorous dating/relationships, only sex hook ups), and generally getting acquainted with ourselves in new ways. Basically, we're exploring, but nothing has happened with anyone yet.
From reading over some of the threads, it seems that people are meeting like-minded people fairly easily, whereas we only meet hetero or lesbian females. We haven't met anyone that seems to want both for more than just sex, and even then, those girls are only to be found online (and possibly aren't who they say they are).
Also, we guess we should say that we don't want to dip into our circle of friends for either advice or experiences, as convenient as that might be in some cases. Actually, in efforts to get to know new people, we've made some new friends that end up having no clue what we're looking for and are strictly friends. We're probably too shy to try to push beyond new friendships we're establishing, even if we happen to have a crush on them.
So, the basic question is, how do we, living here (no, we can't move), meet like-minded people? It's hard enough that we've come to this realization and can't tell any of our "normal" friends or family. We've gotten to know some kinky people who seem to have picked up on our vibes and have extended a hand as far as inviting us into their kinky sex community (orgies, whips, chains, goth attire), but the thing is we're not really into that.
After reading a lot of the posts, we get a sense that we might be labelled as perhaps not-polyamorous, or perhaps as unicorn hunters. Label us as you see fit. We're still trying to define ourselves. Any advice, help, whatever would be much appreciated.
We are a couple from Ontario that has recently "come out" to each other, in the sense that we want to open up our relationship in some way. To us, this seemed pretty groundbreaking, and then we read 20 or 30 threads and we seem a million times less groundbreaking than before!
We shall cut to the chase...here in our part of Ontario, it seems pretty challenging to meet anyone that's into what we're looking for. What are we looking for? We're not exactly sure. That's part of the conundrum.
We're been together for 10 years, and 7 months ago we agreed that we want another female to join our relationship in some way. We're not sure if it should be long term, short term. Basically, we keep saying that we're not sure if we want to "bring her home for Christmas to meet Grandma," if that makes any sense. At the same time, we've been going out, meeting new people, going on dating sites (that don't really support polyamorous dating/relationships, only sex hook ups), and generally getting acquainted with ourselves in new ways. Basically, we're exploring, but nothing has happened with anyone yet.
From reading over some of the threads, it seems that people are meeting like-minded people fairly easily, whereas we only meet hetero or lesbian females. We haven't met anyone that seems to want both for more than just sex, and even then, those girls are only to be found online (and possibly aren't who they say they are).
Also, we guess we should say that we don't want to dip into our circle of friends for either advice or experiences, as convenient as that might be in some cases. Actually, in efforts to get to know new people, we've made some new friends that end up having no clue what we're looking for and are strictly friends. We're probably too shy to try to push beyond new friendships we're establishing, even if we happen to have a crush on them.
So, the basic question is, how do we, living here (no, we can't move), meet like-minded people? It's hard enough that we've come to this realization and can't tell any of our "normal" friends or family. We've gotten to know some kinky people who seem to have picked up on our vibes and have extended a hand as far as inviting us into their kinky sex community (orgies, whips, chains, goth attire), but the thing is we're not really into that.
After reading a lot of the posts, we get a sense that we might be labelled as perhaps not-polyamorous, or perhaps as unicorn hunters. Label us as you see fit. We're still trying to define ourselves. Any advice, help, whatever would be much appreciated.
