Hi guys,
I'm looking for advice and or just support and a place to vent this issue...
I am married to my primary. My other lover Paul has had many relationships in the past, some purely sexual and others more involved. He is a mature 43 year old with a stable job. He is a a blessing in my life.
However one girl has remained a severe issue. I met her a year ago. She has been in and out of his life for 16 years. She is involved with his kids and his family... So after they decided that they were destructive in a 'relationship' with each other they chose to stay in touch and be friends. He has been able to do this with almost every other woman he has been with and keep it a friendship.
But in this woman's case she is obsessed... I'm bringing it up today because just a few hours ago she admired to hacking into his cell phone bill and has been watching it every day online to see who he calls and texts etc. he is very big about privacy and this I hope will be the last straw.
She detests me becuse I came along just as they were breakin it off... She sees me as the catalyst even tho things had been very bad and 'controlling' on her part for a long time. It didn't take long for me to block her on FB and get rid of all her contact info so I was not involved in her issues. But I have still had to deal with them through being with him. We work very well together and I can't see this tearing us apart. However it does NOT make this easy.
She demands even now to know his every move, which he refuses to tell her. But she is so angry. Part of me is worried she will do more irrational things involving me....
He feels obligated to stay in touch with her because of her involvement with his family etc...
The pattern continues with her acting like 'just friends' is fine and being 'good' for a couple of weeks then she pulls something crazy like this. It's over and over and over.
I feel like I should express my concern for my 'safety', reputation and otherwise. I wish he could find it easier to cut her off more. I don't want this to be an ultimatum. I don't want to force him to choose, while I KNOW he will choose me over anything with her I don't like the idea of being the person to force that.
Anyone have a similar issue? Or advice?
I'm looking for advice and or just support and a place to vent this issue...
I am married to my primary. My other lover Paul has had many relationships in the past, some purely sexual and others more involved. He is a mature 43 year old with a stable job. He is a a blessing in my life.
However one girl has remained a severe issue. I met her a year ago. She has been in and out of his life for 16 years. She is involved with his kids and his family... So after they decided that they were destructive in a 'relationship' with each other they chose to stay in touch and be friends. He has been able to do this with almost every other woman he has been with and keep it a friendship.
But in this woman's case she is obsessed... I'm bringing it up today because just a few hours ago she admired to hacking into his cell phone bill and has been watching it every day online to see who he calls and texts etc. he is very big about privacy and this I hope will be the last straw.
She detests me becuse I came along just as they were breakin it off... She sees me as the catalyst even tho things had been very bad and 'controlling' on her part for a long time. It didn't take long for me to block her on FB and get rid of all her contact info so I was not involved in her issues. But I have still had to deal with them through being with him. We work very well together and I can't see this tearing us apart. However it does NOT make this easy.
She demands even now to know his every move, which he refuses to tell her. But she is so angry. Part of me is worried she will do more irrational things involving me....
He feels obligated to stay in touch with her because of her involvement with his family etc...
The pattern continues with her acting like 'just friends' is fine and being 'good' for a couple of weeks then she pulls something crazy like this. It's over and over and over.
I feel like I should express my concern for my 'safety', reputation and otherwise. I wish he could find it easier to cut her off more. I don't want this to be an ultimatum. I don't want to force him to choose, while I KNOW he will choose me over anything with her I don't like the idea of being the person to force that.
Anyone have a similar issue? Or advice?