Old lady perfume smell

[dingedheart]

Over the past few months, I've had a few meetings with my estranged wife, and I noticed on the second meeting that she smelled like an old lady. Typically in the past, she wore rather expensive perfume. It seemed expensive to me, anyway. You could only purchase it at big department stores like Nordstroms, Macy's, or special boutiques.

I'm wondering why.

She's put on a lot of weight since her departure, and continues. Each time seems bigger. Also she is on several different medications that I know of, which may screw with her body chemistry. But wouldn't she notice that?

Or am I so turned off by her now, that my brain just dumped her into that old lady class? She looks and smells like my 3rd grade teacher, minus the hair style.

Or is it a combination of both?

I just thought that old ladies smell basically the same because they rarely go out, and they're still using the stuff someone gave them 15yrs ago, and it's turned, and because they've lost their sense of smell, they didn't know it turned. Less to do with their personal body chemistry.

I guess there is one other option. She selected it where all the Red Hats shop.

Just curious.

 

[NeonKaos]

Maybe she has dry skin and is using Bag Balm. That stuff reminds me of the "old lady smell" you speak of.

8-Hydroxy Quinoline Sulfate 0.3% in a Petrolatum, Lanolin Base

Maybe she isn't washing her lady bits. That could also do it.

You'll have to be more specific about what this "old lady smell" is.

 

[SourGirl]

Or is it a combination of both?

I say it's a combination of everything. Right or wrong, she has lost everything, and meds and stress will make a body cling to weight. She probably isn`t eating right, and that could affect her body chemistry with even the same perfume. As for what you notice, you still notice things about her, but they are no longer the pleasant things. She still interests you, but not in a positive way. It's habit that makes you evaluate.

 

[dingedheart]

Bag Balm, isn't that the stuff that comes in a green can that's used on cow udders? What are you, some kind of savant that you know the formulation of bag balm? Or do you just got a can in front of you?

I don't think its hygiene issue, because it's not offensive or bad in that sense. But thank you for planting that thought in my head now.

You mean you have never been to a family reunion or a funeral, and had to swing by the table of 5 or 6 old ladies? (They all came together, because only 1 still drives. She gets the privilege to cart the others around, during daylight hours only.) That smell. Or the next time you're at the mall, and you see 15-20 red hats shuffling along, take a deep breath. I bet you can be 13 yards away and still get a blast. That smell.

 

[IndieSolo]

A lot of medications cause weight gain, especially anti-depressants. It's possible that they also altered her body chemistry and that has now changed how fragrance smells on her. She could probably still be using the same perfume, but it is now mingling with a different chemistry, which is the major factor in how a fragrance smells on someone, anyway.

 

[dingedheart]

Sourgirl, do you remember several years ago, Jerry Lewis was doing his annual telethon, and because of some medical issue he had at the time, his head looked like it was going to explode. Really hard not to notice, right? I mentioned the weight as a possible explanation for the change in the fragrance.

I noticed the perfume because it was an assault on my sense of smell. It seemed way off. I haven't seen my sister since my mom's funeral, but if she were to walk in my office today and give me a hug, I'm sure the perfume she wears (and can't afford) would be very familiar to me, as being linked with her.

I'd say she lost one kid, and maybe the second. No one can really pinpoint where he is in this. As for me and the marriage, she rejected that. So no loss there. And now she has the complete freedom to build whatever life she wants. Lost a kid or two, gained complete and ultimate freedom.

Casey Anthony had to kill her kid to get that freedom.

Not eating right, or eating everything. If I take her out for a meal, she only wants to go to buffets. That's just a mean joke. We've only met at Starbucks for coffee.

My interest is much less than you may think.

I still want to know how Neon knows the chemical makeup of Bag Balm. Are you a dairy farmer? A milkmaid perhaps?

 

[NeonKaos]

I still want to know how neon knows the chemical make up of Bag Balm...Are you a dairy farmer ? ...a milkmaid perhaps?

No. I can read simple sentences and type things into Google.

Most people think one must be extremely intelligent to do things like that, from what I've seen on this forum.

My IQ is 144, after all.

 

[dingedheart]

Neon, I didn't mean to insult you. I just got the impression your knowledge was more experience or use-based. Without looking it up do you know what the individual ingredients that you listed smell like alone? Does it change when mixed? I don't know what Bag Balm smells like, or 8-Hydroxy Quinowhatever 0.3%, or straight lanolin, for that matter.

144? Very impressive. Does that get you a shot at a Mensa membership card? I bet their secret handshake is really complicated and hard. In private, does Stephen Hawking's synthetic voice have that slight British accent similar to the one used in ATMs? Could he change it to sound like Barry White if he was in the mood? (wink wink) And as long as we're on the topic, what's he smell like?

 

[NeonKaos]

Neon,

I didn't mean to insult you...I just got the impression your knowledge was more experience or use based. Without looking it up do you know what the individual ingredients that you listed smell like a lone? Does it change when mixed? ... I don't know what bag balm smells like ....or 8-Hydroxy Quinowhatever 0.3%,....or straight lanolin for that matter.

You didn't insult me; however people often remark about how "smart" i am because I have the amazing ability to repeat what I have read written in books, and/or to take something i learned yesterday and apply that knowledge to the exact same situation today.

144...very impressive.

\

See above. That score is about 30 years old so with all the stupidity I've been exposed to since then, I would imagine some of it has rubbed off on me.

Does that get you a shot at a Mensa membership card?....I bet their secret handshake is really complicated and hard....

I didn't even know what Mensa is until a few months ago. Thank Google.

 

[SourGirl]

I'd say she lost one kid and maybe the second. As for the marriage, she rejected that, so no loss there. Now she has the complete freedom to build whatever life she wants. Lost a kid or 2, gained complete and ultimate freedom.

Curious, with a foggy memory: did she outright reject the marriage, or did her dumb thoughtless actions cause her to lose the marriage?

Not eating right, or eating everything. If I take her out for a meal she only wants to go to buffets. That's just a mean joke. We've only met at Starbucks for coffee.

'Not eating right' covers all aspects. However, you do not have to eat a lot to gain weight when your body is under stress, even self-inflicted.

My interest is much less than you may think.

I disagree, in the sense that I was not saying you HAD a certain amount of interest in her. I was looking at the fact that you started a thread asking questions about her. It's a mild interest, but not a positive one. You look at her and see negative. It kinda goes with the territory for anyone with an ex.

I still want to know how Neon knows the chemical makeup of Bag Balm...Are you a dairy farmer? A milkmaid perhaps?

I know the chemical make-up of Hibitaine (same shit, different pile, as bag balm), but that's part of my semi-useless online information knowledge.

 

[NeonKaos]

I make my own butter but I don't milk the cows.

 

[dingedheart]

Neon, I'm sure you do. That's the smell like... I know, victory!

 

[clairegoad]

I knew that I had fallen out of love when I looked at my ex boyfriend, and he looked old. I realized that for almost 20 years, he had not aged (in my eyes), But when it was over, suddenly he was old. (We started dating at 30 and 36.)

Yes, drugs do funny things to a person's scent. My father was taking a heart medication that made him smell really bad. He was taking two showers a day and wearing cologne to cover the scent (which was a bit like too much garlic the day before).

 

[NeonKaos]

(which was a bit like too much garlic the day before)

I use garlic to take other smells away.

 

[dingedheart]

Sourgirl, your foggy memory is correct. There was no written declaration of rejection. Her dumb and thoughtless actions were the death blow. The rejection for me and the family was in a much more subtle form, and evident in the choices made.

Not long ago, I told the story of last year's anniversary dinner. People here viewed it as a stupid restaurant-choice squabble. Then and now I view it as selfishness on her part, and a form of rejection.

One weekend she told my daughter that she would not be able travel with us to a weekend soccer tournament because she had a special project coming up. Cross referencing, that special project was learning to take successively larger objects up her ass, to get her anal merit badge or ass-cunt merit badge. Not sure what name it was given. The BDSM crowd knows how truly "special" this project would've been.

I'm sure my daughter would feel this as rejection. Wait, I can hear that conversation. "Seriously, you stayed home to have objects shoved up your ass? Seriously? That was more important? Seriously? That is so f'ed up, seriously... blah blah... seriously." I hear seriously 25-1000 times a day. Seriously.

My point was/is that she didn't really lose everything. Maybe I'm trying to spin it in positive way for her. But looking back, her choices and actions tell a story.

I disagree with you disagreeing with me. The reason for the thread was, I wasn't dead-sure that it wasn't me, in that I changed the way I saw her, and thus my brain processed that smell a different way.

You knowing the chemical makeup of bag balm is not at all surprising. In fact, it's expected.

 

[NeonKaos]

DH, I have criticized you because of YOU, not because of your wife. I am truly disgusted by the way she lied to your family about the "special project" and it is my personal take on the story that she did in fact intend for that pornographic material with "asswhore" and "cumslut" written on her to be "accidentally" discovered by others - although I believe that it was intended for you, not for your daughter.

My main issue with your attitude as I perceived from your posts was twofold - one, that you seemed to be putting a pricetag on everything that ever happened in your marriage, like a financial balance sheet, and two, that you seemed to be on this forum looking for evidennce in other people's relationships to hold in comparison to what happened in yours. It is ccertainly possible that I perceived these things in error, but I'm just telling you where it came from.

I'm a little curious though - maybe you mentioned this before but I forgot: where on earth did she find this guy, this "boyfriend"? You can tell me it's none of my business because it isn't, but enquiring minds with 144 IQ's want to know these things.

 

[dingedheart]

Clairegoad, what you said about the way your brain processed the information was exactly what I was curious about. Thanks. Garlic smell would have been better. Might have made me hungry for little country rigatoni. Wait. I'm always up for Italian food.

Neon, I'm not sure how or why, on a thread about smells, you need to bring up past reasons you feel justified to criticize me. You criticize me for being me, not because of my wife. Good to know. What in my discourse with you set you off? I thought it was just light joking. I have to think about this. I'll get back to you.

 

[NeonKaos]

Neon,

Not sure how or why on a thread about smells you need to bring up past reasons you feel justified to criticize me. You criticize me for being me ....not because of my wife ....good to know. What in my discourse with you set you off. I thought it was just light joking. I have to think about this I'll get back to you.

Don't bother getting back to me. You obviously have moved on and I'm not really interested in your idea of "light joking".

 

[dingedheart]

Neon, too late. I didn't read your post until I was about to hit submit.

How did your big 144 IQ brain think I was attacking or criticizing you in a response to a question asked by Sourgirl? My opinion about how or what constituted rejection within my marriage and family is a sore spot for you, how? My comment to Sourgirl made no mention of you whatsoever. Didn't talk about money, didn't talk about the comparison with anyone else. I thought people on support forums do naturally draw comparisons or commonalities with one another.

Who else do you criticize just for being themselves, or some attitude you don't agree with? Please name names.

You made a big fucking deal about me having 3 Rules instead of boundaries.

Your big brain took issue with me not wanting the bf driving my old convertible, the one that took me and my dad 2 summers to restore.

Hey, what are your boundaries in poly and your rules in BDSM? Please list them. I'd love to see if they make sense to me. If any rub me the wrong way, I'll let you know.

That's right, your big-brain attitude about money is the right attitude, your opinion is the right opinion, whatever the given topic. The world would be a better place if we all just agreed with you big-brain types.

You're an advocate for BDSM and kink, but then say my attitude about money is the reason for my wife seeking it out. Then who or what is the reason for your participation? What were their attitudes on all the major topics? Again, please list.

Do you got daddy issues? When daddy spanked you, did you get turned on? Or maybe daddy wasn't there at all... another set of problems. Help me help you.

This neighbor women was talking to me about her upcoming divorce, and was looking back and stated how she had given him her youth, looks, figure (I took that to mean child bearing), to be replaced by someone 10-15 yrs younger.

Another friend of mine had a cocaine addiction, and recently wished he could get back the $150,000 he spent on that little habit, and the additional money to get clean. What the fuck, he had a good time. He got high. What a fucking asshole to talk about the money now, when he is trying to pay for his kid's college. What a fucking crybaby loser. Right, Neon?

The big 144 take on the story might be correct, but there are 0 facts to support that. Have you had conversations with my wife in some BDSM chat room which would lead you to that conclusion?

To clear this up for you, my home computer is a Dell desk type, set up in the family room so we could monitor the kids. (Funny, right?) Once powered, up the Windows system gave each person in the family their own password-protected account (for lack of a better word).

After school, my daughter usually comes home, knocks out her homework and then does whatever. One day she came home. logged on (under her name), was doing her homework or whatever, and then never logged off. Then I came home and picked her up for an indoor soccer game.

During that time, while we were out of the house, my wife got home and (critical part here) instead of logging out of my daughter's page and logging into her password-protected account, she just used on my daughter's (lazy). Then somebody called or dropped by, which distracted her, and she forgot she hadn't logged off the email account, or she thought she logged off, but didn't do the final procedure. Then we came home and daughter went back on the computer and the nightmare started. So I don't see now you get there.

I don't think there would be any up-side for her to want to share those emails, photos or videos with me. Way easier to just tell me to fuck off.

I was told the internet was how they connected.