Tinkerbell87
New member
Okay so I am new to online dating. I've decided to try it since meeting people when you are a SAHM is hard. Need some advice. How to you word your profile? To you put in your summary that you are in a polyamorous marriage?
Online dating help
- Thread starter Tinkerbell87
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Hi Tinkerbell87,
Yes, I would put in your summary that you are in a poly marriage. It's better to get these things on the table sooner rather than later. As for your profile in general, it's good to insert some humor here and there. Also if you can, get people to read your profile so they can suggest edits. A profile is a work in progress.
I'm assuming you are going with OKCupid? That's usually your best bet, especially in the poly world.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Yes, I would put in your summary that you are in a poly marriage. It's better to get these things on the table sooner rather than later. As for your profile in general, it's good to insert some humor here and there. Also if you can, get people to read your profile so they can suggest edits. A profile is a work in progress.
I'm assuming you are going with OKCupid? That's usually your best bet, especially in the poly world.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
Tinkerbell87
New member
Yes I am on okcupid. I'm just new to all this. Met my husband when I was 19 and he was the first stranger I ever dated. Everyone else I knew from school or friends. Haven't dated anyone new in over 10 years.
Bluebird
Well-known member
It's my very first sentence, when my OKC profile is active. Definitely, you want to be up front about who you are and your existing commitments.
There's an ongoing thread where you can post all of the terrible messages you get.
There's no need to abandon the idea of meeting people in person either - I met my second husband, PunkRockAwesomesauce, in a local game store. Just keep being you, get involved in some activities and make some new friends!
There's an ongoing thread where you can post all of the terrible messages you get.
There's no need to abandon the idea of meeting people in person either - I met my second husband, PunkRockAwesomesauce, in a local game store. Just keep being you, get involved in some activities and make some new friends!
Tinkerbell87
New member
I'm more worried about in person because they don't know my lifestyle choice and I would hate to get to talking to someone and then they run. And I know about the thing in fireplace. I commented in there already.
I will keep people in here posting. You guys are my lifeline for support. Ironically I'm talking to a guy on whisper that has a similar lifestyle. Him and his wife started an open marriage last year and we are exchanging advice and tips from the other side, so to speak.
I will keep people in here posting. You guys are my lifeline for support. Ironically I'm talking to a guy on whisper that has a similar lifestyle. Him and his wife started an open marriage last year and we are exchanging advice and tips from the other side, so to speak.
Tinkerbell87
New member
He lives too far away for that. I did meet a guy who wants to meet up. Setting a date for next week. Fingers crossed it goes well.
Bluebird
Well-known member
It might be unpleasant, but if poly isn't for them, the best thing would be for them to bail early on, so neither of you are wasting your time and getting attached when it was never going to work out at all. Online is easy, nothing invested and if they read your profile, it's right there at the top. In person, if you feel a connection, you can still tell them electronically if it's difficult to talk or awkward to bring up in person. My husband PunkRock and I met, and then he friended me on Facebook. We started texting through Messenger that night, and I asked him if he knew my situation, and then I let him know about my husband DarkKnight. He was surprised and said well he wasn't interested in dating right then, because he had a lot going on, but he was mainly thinking we could be friends. So we were text buddies for like a month and I went out and dated LOTS of guys. Then, he decided he would give poly a try, we went on a date, and it was obvious right away that this was going to work.
That said, I have met plenty of other guys in person who were initially interested, but when I bring up poly, they back away. That's okay. As hot, or as interesting, as they might be, it just means we aren't compatible. We both move on as dating partners, but in some cases I have made some good friends.
Good luck on your date!
Dagferi
Well-known member
I met my husband Murf in real life.
I was at a car cruise in hosted by his car club. I was driving my best friends 70 Nova while he drove his 32 Ford. Murf told my best friend he was lucky to have a gf/wife like me who loves cars. My best friend laughed and said that's not my gf she is just my friend of 25 yrs.
Murf asked me out and I answered that I would love to go out sometime but he should know that I am in an open marriage and poly. He was taken a back. But after seeing me and talking with me a few more times he decided he wanted to see what would happen. 5 years later and he means the world to me.
Don't write off real life.
I was at a car cruise in hosted by his car club. I was driving my best friends 70 Nova while he drove his 32 Ford. Murf told my best friend he was lucky to have a gf/wife like me who loves cars. My best friend laughed and said that's not my gf she is just my friend of 25 yrs.
Murf asked me out and I answered that I would love to go out sometime but he should know that I am in an open marriage and poly. He was taken a back. But after seeing me and talking with me a few more times he decided he wanted to see what would happen. 5 years later and he means the world to me.
Don't write off real life.
I just wanted to add to the consensus: upfront is definitely better in my experience. It's usually the first thing on my profile, and I've also intentionally answered the OkCupid questions in such a way that people who aren't poly are automatically poor matches.
Every time I've tried to even casually date mono-but-maybe-open-to-the-idea-of-poly folks, it's ended in disaster. Not worth the hassle, in my opinion.
Every time I've tried to even casually date mono-but-maybe-open-to-the-idea-of-poly folks, it's ended in disaster. Not worth the hassle, in my opinion.