lafeelicite
New member
Hi all!
I have been addicted to this website since I discovered it. I am learning so much from your blogs and answers to other subjects, it is really a pleasure! Thank you!
Here come my request: My boyfriend and I planned a date thursday to talk about opening our relationship and how it could look like. I am looking for ressources, like the one at the end of "the ethical slut" (I only have it in french so we can't use that and my BF didn't read it).
A small back-up story: english is not my native language, I am french, please forgive me if I am hard to understand and don't hesitate to ask clarification.
My BF is german so we speak english together.
I told him that I had a crush about 3 month ago and that I wanted to be with him but also with the other. I was not aware of NRE, I was used to rush into relationships with not much experience of taking the time to date... and that came out quite out of nowhere (we had talked about being open to casual sex with other partners before that but not in details at all).
He took it in a incredibly mature way and long story short, I chose to not pursue anything with my crush except friendship and work first on my relationship with my BF.
I now know myself a bit more and also looking back at my history, I think I can identify myself as polyamorous. Also, after being 15 years in 4 serial monogamish (for the majority) relationship, not having being single for more than 6 months, I want to explore and have a desire of freedom.
I have issues that I am aware of and working on. Tendancy to co-dependance, low self-esteem, difficulties to express bondaries and self protection behavior and insecurity. I am able to be vulnerable with my BF and I trust him very much. I think he feels the same, even if it is a bit more difficult for him to open himself.
We have good communication skills, we are both in individual therapy and have a good self-awareness. We have schema that are quite strong: "fear to hurt the loved one" is a major one here.
I am not in a hurry to actually be open (but I have ideas to whom to go to have some fun
and part of me is looking forward) but I figured out it is a subject we have quite difficulties to talk about without being able to really say what is "problematic".
I am super glad that we can talk without any crush on either of us side and would like to take the opportunity to do things right.
Thank you very much in advance!
I have been addicted to this website since I discovered it. I am learning so much from your blogs and answers to other subjects, it is really a pleasure! Thank you!
Here come my request: My boyfriend and I planned a date thursday to talk about opening our relationship and how it could look like. I am looking for ressources, like the one at the end of "the ethical slut" (I only have it in french so we can't use that and my BF didn't read it).
A small back-up story: english is not my native language, I am french, please forgive me if I am hard to understand and don't hesitate to ask clarification.
My BF is german so we speak english together.
I told him that I had a crush about 3 month ago and that I wanted to be with him but also with the other. I was not aware of NRE, I was used to rush into relationships with not much experience of taking the time to date... and that came out quite out of nowhere (we had talked about being open to casual sex with other partners before that but not in details at all).
He took it in a incredibly mature way and long story short, I chose to not pursue anything with my crush except friendship and work first on my relationship with my BF.
I now know myself a bit more and also looking back at my history, I think I can identify myself as polyamorous. Also, after being 15 years in 4 serial monogamish (for the majority) relationship, not having being single for more than 6 months, I want to explore and have a desire of freedom.
I have issues that I am aware of and working on. Tendancy to co-dependance, low self-esteem, difficulties to express bondaries and self protection behavior and insecurity. I am able to be vulnerable with my BF and I trust him very much. I think he feels the same, even if it is a bit more difficult for him to open himself.
We have good communication skills, we are both in individual therapy and have a good self-awareness. We have schema that are quite strong: "fear to hurt the loved one" is a major one here.
I am not in a hurry to actually be open (but I have ideas to whom to go to have some fun
and part of me is looking forward) but I figured out it is a subject we have quite difficulties to talk about without being able to really say what is "problematic". I am super glad that we can talk without any crush on either of us side and would like to take the opportunity to do things right.
Thank you very much in advance!
