Hello!
I'm new to poly and our chosen family came about very organically. None of us was looking, but it just happened. I simultaneously fell in love with a poly man (and he with me) through a budding friendship, and at the same time grew to deeply love his long-time female non-poly partner. His partner and I do not have a sexual relationship, but we are very close emotionally. We are going on 7 months.
I am a single mom and my two teens have really grown to love and care about my two partners and see them as positive adult role models.
It has been very HARD at times, unbelievably hard, as we combat insecurities, fear of loss, and jealousy. It has also been very very beautiful at times, with all the love and the strong intention to form a chosen family. We are all very good, kind, compassionate people and we want so much to make this work.
I think we finally have the logistics down through a shared family calendar, working out work schedules (mine changes every week), kid time, the needs of extended family, and date nights. It has taken several trials and errors.
The bigger challenge has been for us to get past our own personal scars that we have brought into the relationship from previous bad relationship. In the case of us two women, we were both emotionally abused for many years by our former husbands. We both tend to jump to bad feelings and assume the worst, when if we just sat down and talked about it, we would find out it wasn't that bad at all. The more time that passes, the more we see that we all have the best of intentions and love for each other.
The book More Than Two, which I am partly through, has been very helpful. It has some very good advice that would apply to anyone in a relationship, poly or not. But just as we have more love, we also need greater communication skills and must step up and accept the challenge of greater personal growth.
Looking forward to making some friends here.
I'm new to poly and our chosen family came about very organically. None of us was looking, but it just happened. I simultaneously fell in love with a poly man (and he with me) through a budding friendship, and at the same time grew to deeply love his long-time female non-poly partner. His partner and I do not have a sexual relationship, but we are very close emotionally. We are going on 7 months.
I am a single mom and my two teens have really grown to love and care about my two partners and see them as positive adult role models.
It has been very HARD at times, unbelievably hard, as we combat insecurities, fear of loss, and jealousy. It has also been very very beautiful at times, with all the love and the strong intention to form a chosen family. We are all very good, kind, compassionate people and we want so much to make this work.
I think we finally have the logistics down through a shared family calendar, working out work schedules (mine changes every week), kid time, the needs of extended family, and date nights. It has taken several trials and errors.
The bigger challenge has been for us to get past our own personal scars that we have brought into the relationship from previous bad relationship. In the case of us two women, we were both emotionally abused for many years by our former husbands. We both tend to jump to bad feelings and assume the worst, when if we just sat down and talked about it, we would find out it wasn't that bad at all. The more time that passes, the more we see that we all have the best of intentions and love for each other.
The book More Than Two, which I am partly through, has been very helpful. It has some very good advice that would apply to anyone in a relationship, poly or not. But just as we have more love, we also need greater communication skills and must step up and accept the challenge of greater personal growth.
Looking forward to making some friends here.
