shybubble
New member
Hi, my name is [WITHHELD], but you can call me Shy.
So much to say. Where to begin?
I am married, hetero, and I suspect I've been poly for as long as I can remember. I've never acted on it even though there were women at various points in my life that I was attracted to on an emotional level. (In those situations it wasn't ethical for me to act on those feelings, so I didn't.)
I had a meltdown about 3 years ago, and so began a long process of counseling where the subject of polyamory finally reared its head. I had been trying to hide this from my wife and hoped that it would go away. You'd think after 15+ years of marriage that I would have finally worked out that it wasn't going to go away. I wasn't being me, and it was killing me.
It got so bad that I tried to convince myself that I no longer loved my wife, and so I tried to break up with her. Ultimately, I found that I couldn't commit to this course of action because, well, I do love her and that was never going to change. So here we are now, still very new to this whole "relationship orientation" and wondering how on earth we could possibly make this work.
This is getting too long already so I'll try to wrap up as quickly as possible. I am currently in a relationship with someone online. My wife knows about her and we've both Skyped with her. We want to meet her in the flesh at some point but can only do so once we have the means to do so.
I might add here that my wife very much considers herself mono, but she's also gone above and beyond in her attempts to accommodate this radical paradigm shift in our marriage. This whole thing has been an awful and distressing ordeal for her, and I would not be where I am today without her continued support.
I'm not sure if this is too much or too little, or just off-topic for what an introduction should be. I'll leave it here for now and say that I'm so glad to have found this place. I hope it will be a refuge because while this whole poly thing feels like the most natural way of being for me, I've still been a nonpracticing, "theoretical" poly guy for the vast majority of my life. In short, I have a lot to learn and, I fear, a lot of mistakes to make before I get it even halfway figured out.
So much to say. Where to begin?
I am married, hetero, and I suspect I've been poly for as long as I can remember. I've never acted on it even though there were women at various points in my life that I was attracted to on an emotional level. (In those situations it wasn't ethical for me to act on those feelings, so I didn't.)
I had a meltdown about 3 years ago, and so began a long process of counseling where the subject of polyamory finally reared its head. I had been trying to hide this from my wife and hoped that it would go away. You'd think after 15+ years of marriage that I would have finally worked out that it wasn't going to go away. I wasn't being me, and it was killing me.
It got so bad that I tried to convince myself that I no longer loved my wife, and so I tried to break up with her. Ultimately, I found that I couldn't commit to this course of action because, well, I do love her and that was never going to change. So here we are now, still very new to this whole "relationship orientation" and wondering how on earth we could possibly make this work.
This is getting too long already so I'll try to wrap up as quickly as possible. I am currently in a relationship with someone online. My wife knows about her and we've both Skyped with her. We want to meet her in the flesh at some point but can only do so once we have the means to do so.
I might add here that my wife very much considers herself mono, but she's also gone above and beyond in her attempts to accommodate this radical paradigm shift in our marriage. This whole thing has been an awful and distressing ordeal for her, and I would not be where I am today without her continued support.
I'm not sure if this is too much or too little, or just off-topic for what an introduction should be. I'll leave it here for now and say that I'm so glad to have found this place. I hope it will be a refuge because while this whole poly thing feels like the most natural way of being for me, I've still been a nonpracticing, "theoretical" poly guy for the vast majority of my life. In short, I have a lot to learn and, I fear, a lot of mistakes to make before I get it even halfway figured out.
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I think this will be the week. Gonna put on my big girl panties. 
