Planning poly aniversaries

nycindie said:
It never ceases to amaze me, what crap people will put up with and call it polyamory.
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I think it is definitely getting to that point. It's hard because there are other things that are good and the kids and families are so intertwined at this point. I think I would be okay if I got confirmation that it's 100% a V and I could start pursuing other relationships as well instead of putting all the time and energy in where it's just not working. Any advise on how to breach that conversation with minimal hurt feeling, blame pointing etc.?
 
justbeingme said:
I think I would be okay if I got confirmation that it's 100% a V and I could start pursuing other relationships as well instead of putting all the time and energy in where it's just not working. Any advise on how to breach that conversation with minimal hurt feeling, blame pointing etc.?
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Hmm, you make it sound like you need their permission to live your life as you see fit. What's wrong with that picture?
 
Re (from justbeingme):
"I think I would be okay if I got confirmation that it's 100% a V and I could start pursuing other relationships as well instead of putting all the time and energy in where it's just not working. Any advice on how to breach that conversation with minimal hurt feeling, blame pointing etc.?"
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I suppose you could start by saying, "I think that we are more of a V now than a triad?" That's the best I can think of for now.
 
nycindie said:
Hmm, you make it sound like you need their permission to live your life as you see fit. What's wrong with that picture?
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Not so much permission as clarification so that I can spend some time thinking and deciding what I am going to do moving forward. With me just having finished school and started a new job I really dont have the energy to be pursuing other things and put energy into reestablishing the current relationship. Especially if im the only one whos wants to do that and is willing to put the work in. I may be good with the V or opt for some time alone. However, I see how it could be interpreted as a permission thing as well. Admittedly I have a hard time putting my food down.
 
kdt26417 said:
Re (from justbeingme):


I suppose you could start by saying, "I think that we are more of a V now than a triad?" That's the best I can think of for now.
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I tried that much, and expressing that it's really not the direction I wanted to move in or anything we discussed before, and that I'm struggling to process it. However, that's about as far as it went. My male partner disagrees and feels the other female in the situation just needs more time. She don't want to discuss it.
 
It sounds like it's a V and the other two (not you) are in denial about it.
 
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