Poly-curious couple

S

Shatteredsoul

New member
Zarina and I both found this forum yesterday. We are both getting out of very long marriages and are each other's first girlfriend/boyfriend outside of that. I had been told I may be poly by a poly friend a few years ago so I have done a lot of research. I even tried to talk to my wife about it and see if there was any interest and it was always shot down with no further discussion allowed. I am now single for the first time in my life and I definitely want to explore whether this is something I want long term for my life or not. It just so happens to also be a healthy time for both myself and Zarina to date several people anyways so we know what we truly want. I have expressed all of this to my girlfriend Zarina and she is the most understanding, communicative, and amazing person I have ever met. She is willing to go on this journey with me and see for herself whether it is something she wants for her life. I have already thought she may enjoy being poly too and she has looked into it some and though maybe she would prefer that too.

So what advice do y'all have for us both as we navigate through this and see if it works for us as a couple or as individuals? We are open to any suggestions. Thanks. And it's nice to meet everyone. :)
 
Welcome, Shatteredsoul, I've only been here a couple of months myself - and equally new to Poly, but have found everyone to be very welcoming and helpful - with lots of sound advice and good information. I will leave the advice to the veterans. However, you may want to post requests for advice on the "Poly Relations Corner" section.

Al
 
My only advice is to keep reading... here, and on the website more than two. More Than Two is also a book. Another good book is Opening Up.

You can always start a thread if you have a specific question. So far it sounds good between you and your new gf. Heartwarming!
 
Thanks. I love the saying in your signature and Zarina and I can certainly both relate to how a lack of Liberty in our previous relationships really destroyed all the love that was there. And that goes far beyond monogamy or non monogamy. We both were in controlling relationships that didn't allow us to be ourselves. I never want her to feel that with me.
 
Shatteredsoul said:
Thanks. I love the saying in your signature and Zarina and I can certainly both relate to how a lack of Liberty in our previous relationships really destroyed all the love that was there. And that goes far beyond monogamy or non monogamy. We both were in controlling relationships that didn't allow us to be ourselves. I never want her to feel that with me.
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That is so sweet. I was in a long term monogamous marriage (I am from an older generation) and I finally broke free. I am so much happier with my current nesting partner, and our OSOs. :) Words can't even describe the joy and the respect and the freedom and the intimacy I now have in my life.
 
Greetings Shatteredsoul,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you and Zarina are both on the same page, that's a good sign. Go on your poly journey slowly, a little at a time. Continue to read (and post) as you go along.

Glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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