I’m not sure where to begin really. I’m fairly new to poly. My husband and I have been married for 13yrs and we’ve been mono for those yrs we have two kids. My husband has this friend that we’ve both know since before we were married. There has always been an attraction between us to the point where we all nearly had a threesome, before we were married. The friendship has been close but sometimes on and off over the years. Just recently it has started back up again and we’ve become closer. My husband and I discussed if he was ok with it progressing more. So currently I go over to his once a week or twice a week in the evening. It has become sexual. I don’t know where to go from here. How long I want to be in a secondary relationship for. My husband and family life are completely different to that of my bf. I connect with my bf in a very different way to my husband. Me and my bf have discussed this being long term. My husband has had some insecurities. He has said our relationship hasn’t changed in fact we’ve become closer. Just need a little advice and insight of how to move forward. Should I just let it ride and see where this all leads?
Poly new
- Thread starter Gemma
- Start date
Welcome, Gemma!
I guess one thing to think about in wondering 'where is this all going' is where each of the three of you wants it to go. Are those ideas congruent? Conflicting? How do your guys feel; have you talked much about the future with either of them?
I hear you about how relationships that have been going in for very different lengths of time and have different contexts can feel so very different from each other. I have one partner who I live with who has shared my life for 12 years and we're raising a kid together; another who I've known even longer but have only been dating since January, and that's long-distance. So many contrasts!
I guess one thing to think about in wondering 'where is this all going' is where each of the three of you wants it to go. Are those ideas congruent? Conflicting? How do your guys feel; have you talked much about the future with either of them?
I hear you about how relationships that have been going in for very different lengths of time and have different contexts can feel so very different from each other. I have one partner who I live with who has shared my life for 12 years and we're raising a kid together; another who I've known even longer but have only been dating since January, and that's long-distance. So many contrasts!
Greetings Gemma,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
I am thinking it is okay to let it ride and see where it all leads. But don't rush, take it slow. And communicate a lot with your husband and with your boyfriend. Find out what their desires and intentions are.
Those are my thoughts anyway.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
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If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
I am thinking it is okay to let it ride and see where it all leads. But don't rush, take it slow. And communicate a lot with your husband and with your boyfriend. Find out what their desires and intentions are.
Those are my thoughts anyway.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Trattoria 6800
Thanks Sunray,
Me and my bf would actually like to keep this going long term. My husband however did communicate with me that he thought it might be a short fling for me to get what I need. I’ve only ever been with him sexually and he has a physical handicap. He understands my desire for better sex and wants me to explore that. It’s definetly not only about sex with my bf though!
Yes, right it’s totally different relationships. They both complete me and appeal to different sides of my personality. It’s so great to open up and talk to someone who understands.
Thanks Sunray,
Me and my bf would actually like to keep this going long term. My husband however did communicate with me that he thought it might be a short fling for me to get what I need. I’ve only ever been with him sexually and he has a physical handicap. He understands my desire for better sex and wants me to explore that. It’s definetly not only about sex with my bf though!
Yes, right it’s totally different relationships. They both complete me and appeal to different sides of my personality. It’s so great to open up and talk to someone who understands.
Thanks for the welcome and helpful links Kevin! I think my husband is comfortable just seeing where things go. He doesn’t want to put a time frame to it or look too long term. I agree with taking it slow and communicating a lot.