Poly Tv shows

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poly6

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I'll admit to having not watch any myself (not a fan of reality tv) but I'm curious as to what other poly people think of shows like "Sister Wives" and "My Five Wives" for example. Based off of what I've looked at, their reception is generally mixed to negative. Idk if that's due to the quality of the shows themselves, or something about the families, or if it's just a bias against polygamy.

So I want to know what are all of your thoughts on it?
 
In both of those shows, the families are polygamous due to adherence to the Fundamentalist Mormon faith. The one which was at one time led by Warren Jeff's, now imprisoned for sexual abuse among other things. In that faith, men are encouraged to have several wives and many children. Women are given little to no choice. And in some groups, spouses are assigned by the leaders; people aren't even allowed to choose who they marry.

The family in My Five Wives is no longer part of that faith but were when the husband married each of his wives.

I think the negative reactions to these shows are probably due more to what's been said in the news and in other sources about the FLDS, rather than backlash against Polyamory in general.
 
I haven't seen "Sister Wives," and this is the first time I've heard of "My Five Wives." I take it they're both reality TV shows, so it's no surprise I haven't seen them. The only reality TV I've ever watched is "Deadliest Catch," and that's because my sister-in-law was watching it.

I've heard just a little about Sister Wives, mainly that they've tried to make all (three of?) their marriages legal/lawful. I guess it's good if it helps bring polyamory into the public eye.

I did see the first few seasons of "Big Love" (which is about polygamy but is not a reality TV show). I liked the first season a lot, but after that I think the show went downhill.

Other than that, I can't think of any other poly TV shows, though I know of a few poly movies. I suppose the old sitcom "Three's Company" hinted at poly.
 
In Sister Wives, there are four wives... They didn't try to make all the marriages legal, though. They challenged the cohabitation clause in Utah's anti-bigamy law, which stated that not only could you not marry more than one person, you couldn't live with more than one person if you were in relationships with both/all. I believe the grounds for challenging that clause was that it was unconstitutional, though I would have to look it up to be sure.

Their challenge was successful, as I understand it; Utah's law now only forbids *marrying* more than one person and doesn't say anything about how many people you're allowed to live with.

In related news. Kody Brown, the husband in Sister Wives, recently legally divorced his first (and, until that point, his only *legal*) wife so he could legally marry his fourth wife instead. The basis being that the fourth wife has children from a previous marriage, and because of some serious issues with the kids' father, Kody, his first wife, and his fourth wife decided it would be best for the fourth wife to be the legal one so she and Kody could file a custody suit against her children's father, and Kody could hopefully adopt the kids.
 
Yeah, I seem to remember them challenging that cohabitation law. Seems like someone (if it wasn't them) more recently challenged the illegality of polygamy on the basis of the recent SCOTUS decision on SSM. I doubt the challenge went anywhere, but ...

Possibly a polygamous family in Montana? I can't remember.
 
There was a "reality" show called "Polyamory: Married & Dating" on Showtime following a couple of different polyamorous groups. I caught it for one season, heard it was renewed for a second season but never caught any of those episodes.

The season I did catch was pretty open about what was going on with the groups... up to and including showing some of their "naked sexy time" (Well... it WAS on Showtime, so they didn't really care about FCC guidelines). but it wasn't JUST about the sex... it was about the good times and the bad times of the relationships as well.
 
I watch Sister Wives. I think the husband really fails at being present for each of his wives. I think he tries, but at least half of them seem really unhappy a lot of the time. He also seems to really favor the new wife, and is lost in NRE.
 
I guess it's fair enough for a reality show to depict what can go wrong in a poly relationship ...

Re: Married and Dating ... oh yeah, I had forgotten that show. Good that the show exists but incomplete ... married and dating doesn't describe all poly situations ...
 
I think the biggest problem with polygamy based in religion, or at least in the FLDS faith, is that the husband is expected to have and procreate with as many wives as he feels "called" to have--or, in the FLDS enclave previously led by Warren Jeffs, as many wives as the "prophet" tells each man he has to have. The husbands have at least two wives, usually more, and is able to get emotional support, attention, and in theory love from each of them.

Meanwhile, the wives aren't allowed to have any other partner (I vaguely remember once on Sister Wives, the first wife Meri asked Kody how he would feel if she had other husbands, and he said the idea was disgusting and repulsive), and they're usually each raising several children. In theory they have each other to lean on, but as with any metamour situation, personality clashes and jealousy can interfere with any "sisterhood" the wives might have. One of the wives on Sister Wives has expressed that she feels like she doesn't fit in at all with the other wives and feels pretty isolated within the family; meanwhile, she only has her husband around once every four days, so there's little if any emotional support from him.

I think Kody does his best, but even though he's been married to his fourth wife for several years now (I think they married in 2010), there is still obvious favoritism there, whether or not it's due to NRE. And he's spreading himself among four wives and...18 children? 17 at least. So there's only so much time and attention he has available to give.

On the plus side, though, he does try. And unlike the FLDS enclave, where women are expected to always "keep sweet", meaning they aren't allowed to express ANY negative emotions or thoughts, Kody encourages his wives to speak their minds. The Browns are FLDS, but they and the members of the church they belonged to in Utah have distanced themselves from the Jeffs sect, and they live far more modernly and with far more equality among Kody and his wives than that sect would permit.

Can you tell I watch way too much of this show? (Or at least I used to... we don't have cable anymore, and I don't think it's available on the streaming services we subscribe to.)
 
Re:
"I vaguely remember once on Sister Wives, the first wife Meri asked Kody how he would feel if she had other husbands, and he said the idea was disgusting and repulsive ..."
Click to expand...

Uh yep ... slight problem there.
 
The "problem" with religious polygyny is that it's not so much "for love"*, but it's "to spread the faith by having as many children, all raised IN the faith, as possible". With multiple wives the husband get's more opportunity to create pregnancies because he can impregnate different wives when other wives are already pregnant. Religion frown on polyandry because there's no "additional children possible" up-side to multiple husbands. A single woman can only be pregnant once at a time (yes, multiple babies are possible, twins, triplets, et cetera... but that's not the norm).




*not to say the participants can't/don't feel love... just that's not the RELIGIOUS reason for it
 
Ahh ... cradle converts.
 
I keep meaning to watch My Five Wives, I liked how the commercials presented it.

What seems like a long time ago, we watched a video in school/college about relationships outside of what was generally presented as normal. There was a section in it about a woman in a V with two men (living with both?). It seemed weird to me at the time (lol), but what was really memorable to me was that when her first partner told her they were not ready to have a baby, she went behind his back and had a baby with the second partner. Afterwards she talked about how she regretted doing it.

The other thing that stood out to me at the time was the woman in the V was trying to find another woman to date one of her men, and was happy for him. A concept I found a bit hard to believe was a real thing. :p

If anyone knows what video I saw, I'd love to know the name of it!
 
I'm not familiar with the video you described, but it reminded me of another show, "Three of Hearts: a postmodern family." It's a documentary about an MMF triad if I remember right, but one of the men ends up splitting off from the other two. The way they present the story is candid and soulful. I think worth watching.
 
KC43 said:
I vaguely remember once on Sister Wives, the first wife Meri asked Kody how he would feel if she had other husbands, and he said the idea was disgusting and repulsive
Click to expand...

This was when he got on my last nerve. I liked the idea of supportive wives but didn't get the double standard at all. The third wife says in their intro basically that she didn't want just the man she wanted the family.

I'm with the others that he seems to favor the latest wife but the others had been together for years and years when he brought her in. Still think that is unfair ..... but recognize this is their flavor ....
 
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