Hello poly friends,
I came to the realization that I couldn't promise anyone monogamy about 5 years ago. I shared that realization with my partner, and we just discussed it from there. My partner and I started to identify as polyamorous about 3 years ago. A lot of discussion went into the decision of opening up/what that would look like, and discussion continues as we learn and grow in the relationship. While we do refer to each other as a "primary", we acknowledge that people change, and in the future it might make more sense to switch "primary-ness" to another partner. As I've learned more about the variations of polyamory lifestyles, I have considered whether a non-hierarchical primary arrangement might be a better fit for us down the road.
A second aspect about me that's emerged from my polyamorous identity is that I'm a social science researcher, with a long-term goal of destigmatizing the polyamorous lifestyle. There is a lot of reactionary judgment and negative assumptions made over the choice to be in a consensually non-monogamous relationship. People assume there's something fundamentally unhealthy and abnormal about it, and that people in open/polyamorous relationships must lack the "healthy" characteristics and qualities necessary for a "normal" monogamous relationship. My goal is to increase the general public and psychological community's understanding of polyamorous motivations and behaviours, showing that polyamory can indeed be a healthy lifestyle choice for some individuals.
I came to the realization that I couldn't promise anyone monogamy about 5 years ago. I shared that realization with my partner, and we just discussed it from there. My partner and I started to identify as polyamorous about 3 years ago. A lot of discussion went into the decision of opening up/what that would look like, and discussion continues as we learn and grow in the relationship. While we do refer to each other as a "primary", we acknowledge that people change, and in the future it might make more sense to switch "primary-ness" to another partner. As I've learned more about the variations of polyamory lifestyles, I have considered whether a non-hierarchical primary arrangement might be a better fit for us down the road.
A second aspect about me that's emerged from my polyamorous identity is that I'm a social science researcher, with a long-term goal of destigmatizing the polyamorous lifestyle. There is a lot of reactionary judgment and negative assumptions made over the choice to be in a consensually non-monogamous relationship. People assume there's something fundamentally unhealthy and abnormal about it, and that people in open/polyamorous relationships must lack the "healthy" characteristics and qualities necessary for a "normal" monogamous relationship. My goal is to increase the general public and psychological community's understanding of polyamorous motivations and behaviours, showing that polyamory can indeed be a healthy lifestyle choice for some individuals.
