Polyamory for a Single Guy

H

heavypettin

New member
Hi you all. I was going through my local Meetups to look for a group where I could socialize, and just maybe, meet a nice pretty woman. Then I came across this huge Polyamory group in Phoenix, AZ. I’d like to attend one of their orientations just to see what it’s about, and what the people are like. Before I contact the organizer, I just wanted to say hi to you all first.

I have no experience in polyamorous relationships. Worse though, I don’t have much experience in monogamous ones either. We’re talking one girlfriend many years ago, and just a few other lays. It’s been a lonely life. It’s not that I’m ugly, quite the contrary. I just have a very young boyish look and extremely small bone structure. Yesterday I bought socks and had to go the boys section, my feet are that small. Sometimes I feel like I'm still a boy, yet I'm in my 40's.

I was thinking maybe these polymary Meetups would make for a relaxed social atmosphere. Maybe the gender roles would be a little less stringent, because honestly I don’t know where I fit in, in the dating world.

I think I could handle a woman having a husband or other boyfriends. I just want a woman who will embrace all of me, including my physical body. And when I’m with her, all that matters is the present moment.

You all think I should check out one of those orientations? Or is that jumping into the “deep end” too quick? Or should I hone my skills in a monogamous relationship first?

Thanks in advance.
 
Most poly groups I've come across are social or discussion groups, not pick-up venues. One group I used to attend semi-regularly was basically just a large group of people chatting about their kids or what had happened at work that day - all very ordinary.

By all means, go along and talk to people; find out how poly might fit into your life, but don't expect to meet anyone there for dating purposes.
 
Greetings heavypettin,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I encourage you to attend events of the Phoenix group, if for no reason just because you can learn a lot about poly at the events. Also you can make friends and get to know people -- which doesn't add up to a date, but who knows if a friendship might turn into something romantic someday in the future. Good luck!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 
Hi heavypettin - and welcome to the Forum! Emm and Kevin have both offered some good advice. From my understanding, it is unlikely that you will garner any immediate dates by attending a poly meetup - but you will get to know people, and as Kevin pointed out, that might lead to relationships.

In the meantime, if you are really interested in poly, I encourage you to follow the forum, and feel free to share any thoughts and questions that you might have. We have a number of experienced poly folks on the forum who are generally quite helpful and friendly.

You might also want to check out morethantwo.com - the web site there has a number of helpful introductory articles on poly. Also, polyweekly.com has over 500 archived podcasts on poly as well. Best of luck on your journey - however it unfolds! Al
 
Thank you all for such a warm greeting. I was a little nervous to even check back on my post. In other forums people tell me I need therapy and stuff.

Anyway these poly Meetups sound like a relaxed atmosphere. I have a feeling I just might find my peers there.

I like you all already.
 
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