Al99
Well-known member
The book, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, by Jessica Fern happened to show up in my Amazon list of suggested books - not surprisingly as I've ordered the Kindle versions of a couple dozen or so poly-related books from them, but it's been a couple of years since I've read anything new related to poly. However, when I noticed the "best seller" tag by it, I thought it deserved a read - as that distinction doesn't happen all too often with poly books. I'm glad I did - it is probably the most insightful and potentially helpful poly-related book that I have read.
I did a search of this forum to see if there were other posts that talked about "Polysecure", and I found a number of posts that mentioned the book and commented positively on it - although none dedicated to the book itself. So, I thought I would just drop a post to give it a hearty recommendation for those who still may not have heard of it, and perhaps especially for those many people who read in this forum but are not members.
The book consists of three sections: an overview of attachment theory, attachment theory as applied to polyamory, and attachment theory based suggestions on how to be secure in poly relationships. I was not familiar with attachment theory, so that section alone was well worth the read - very interesting concept with the potential to assist in self understanding. And, the suggestions section should prove helpful to anyone in a relationship - poly or mono alike.
I have heard the books "Ethical Slut", "Opening Up", and "More Than Two" referred to as the "Big 3" on occasion. And they are all important books. "Opening Up", although dated in some respects, is probably still the best book for a married couple opening up their marriage (that I am aware of). "More Than Two" is an invaluable resource book on poly ethics, despite being overly verbose and highly opinionated (and its author having been somewhat discredited) - just for its value as a discussion starter on various poly issues. I found the third edition of "The Ethical Slut" to be much more up to date and inclusive of the broad spectrum of polyamory - still a good read. These books are good books "about" poly - definitions, structure, and the like. And a good place to start for those new to the poly.
But the books that I have found that take a deeper look are my favorites and the most helpful (outside of learning the basic theory, terminology, and structure): "Sex at Dawn", "Designer Relationships", and now "Polysecure". All recommended.
I did a search of this forum to see if there were other posts that talked about "Polysecure", and I found a number of posts that mentioned the book and commented positively on it - although none dedicated to the book itself. So, I thought I would just drop a post to give it a hearty recommendation for those who still may not have heard of it, and perhaps especially for those many people who read in this forum but are not members.
The book consists of three sections: an overview of attachment theory, attachment theory as applied to polyamory, and attachment theory based suggestions on how to be secure in poly relationships. I was not familiar with attachment theory, so that section alone was well worth the read - very interesting concept with the potential to assist in self understanding. And, the suggestions section should prove helpful to anyone in a relationship - poly or mono alike.
I have heard the books "Ethical Slut", "Opening Up", and "More Than Two" referred to as the "Big 3" on occasion. And they are all important books. "Opening Up", although dated in some respects, is probably still the best book for a married couple opening up their marriage (that I am aware of). "More Than Two" is an invaluable resource book on poly ethics, despite being overly verbose and highly opinionated (and its author having been somewhat discredited) - just for its value as a discussion starter on various poly issues. I found the third edition of "The Ethical Slut" to be much more up to date and inclusive of the broad spectrum of polyamory - still a good read. These books are good books "about" poly - definitions, structure, and the like. And a good place to start for those new to the poly.
But the books that I have found that take a deeper look are my favorites and the most helpful (outside of learning the basic theory, terminology, and structure): "Sex at Dawn", "Designer Relationships", and now "Polysecure". All recommended.