Welcome Skadi.
That's interesting, I had never thought of polyamory as a strategy before. Of course, polyamory should be something you feel inside, not something you should do for practical reasons. Polyamory should not be the justified means to an end. It is something people should feel in their hearts. Yes lifespans are longer, and the internet puts us in contact with people around the world. But we should feel polyamory in our hearts, we should not go around saying, "Well, after all, I am going to live longer." And yes, this is an ever-changing world which makes monogamy more difficult. Nevertheless, if monogamy is what's in one's heart, then that's what one should pursue.
Certainly one should not engage in polyamory simply because it's popular or because "everyone is doing it." Sure it's nice that polyamory has gained popularity, and maybe monogamists will grow a tolerant attitude towards those who do practice polyamory. That doesn't mean everyone should imitate what the polyamorists are doing. Each person should do what is in their heart. Never mind that polyamory can be a tool for survival. If someone's heart is not in polyamory, then they are going to find that it fails as an adaptive strategy. At least that's how I see it.
It's also troubling how Elisabeth Sheff depicts millennials and zoomers as "unstable" (and then uses that as an excuse for being forced into polyamory). I will agree that we live in an instable world, and millennials and zoomers do adapt to that instability and I am okay with that part. I just think romance should thrive outside the boundaries of "strategy."
I could say my V is a strategy for dealing with the fact that I fell in love with a married woman, and she with me. But I have to say it was in our hearts, not just in our minds.
Just some thoughts,
Kevin T.
www.psychologytoday.com
