"Psychology Today" - Article Referencing Sociosexuality (9/5/22)


Well-known member

This short article appeared on that section of my smart phone that suggests articles based on your interests (presumably according to browsing history). It was barely worth noticing after having read so much on the subject of CNM and Poly (etc) - except that it mentioned a word that I had not seen or not noticed before - "sociosexuality".

So, I looked it up - and found this definition in Wikipedia:

Sociosexuality, sometimes called sociosexual orientation, is the individual difference in the willingness to engage in sexual activity outside of a committed relationship. Individuals who are more restricted sociosexually are less willing to engage in casual sex; they prefer greater love, commitment and emotional closeness before having sex with romantic partners. Individuals who are more unrestricted sociosexually are more willing to have casual sex and are more comfortable engaging in sex without love, commitment or closeness.[1]

The article seems to postulate that those with a greater sociosexual orientation are more likely to be comfortable with CNM - even though this is not really how the above definition reads. I found this interesting and potentially useful in discussing "polyamorous orientation".

Most who are familiar with poly are familiar with the orientation or life-style discussion. Many new to the subject state that they have a poly orientation - but what they really mean is that they are attracted to more than one individual at a time - or find that they desire to be in love with more than one person in time. And, as we know, that does not make one poly - only human. :) "Being poly" also requires the choice for an action - the decision to be in multiple relationships with the knowledge of all involved (and possibly consent, depending on who you ask, and how one defines "consent"). This is a lifestyle choice.

That said, however, it is also obvious that the desire to make that lifestyle choice is much stronger in some than others. While virtually everyone has the capacity to be attracted to more than one person at a time, and perhaps even be in love with more than one at a time (I suspect that most can - and probably the large majority of adults over the age of 40 have experienced that situation at least once in their life - whether they acted on it or not - at least in the western world) - the desire to make the choice to live an ethical lifestyle where it is possible to have multiple relationships varies greatly. I have always considered this level of desire for a CNM lifestyle to be the spectrum of "poly orientation".

This article seems to make the same point - but calling that willingness the "sociosexual orientation" - albeit a somewhat different spin on the established definition (although that definition - as quoted above - has a different connotation than earlier uses of the word "sociosexual".)
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Official Greeter
Staff member
Based on the Wikipedia definition, my sociosexuality is relatively restricted. Not that I would never consider casual sex, just that in my situation it's not really in the cards.