Questions to ask a potential partner

K

Kintis

New member
I have a second date with a potential second partner tonight and I know there are questions I should be asking to make sure this is could be a right fit but I’m lost. I’m still very new to the poly world and don’t know much. What questions I should be asking?
 
Hi,
just some ideas.

First, keep asking yourself how you feel with this person, on the date and the next day. Do they feel kind, safe and whole?

Second, ask yourself what you are looking for and answer genuinely.

Only then, ask them what kind(s) of relationship they are open to and about their general availability. Does it match what you are looking for?

Fourth, ask about their poly experience, their other partners and their attitude to poly. Does everything sound healthy?

Best of luck :)
 
Hello Kintis,

You should ask them what their rules and boundaries would be. What would they expect of you, as a partner? and don't forget there are things you would expect of them, they should be asking you questions too.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Kintis said:
I have a second date with a potential second partner tonight and I know there are questions I should be asking to make sure this is could be a right fit but I’m lost. I’m still very new to the poly world and don’t know much. What questions I should be asking?
Click to expand...
Can you share more about who you are, what your primary relationship is like, whether that person is also poly/in more than one relationship currently, how much time and energy you have to invest in a second relationship (once a week, or more or less than that), etc.?

Can you host this person at your place? Do you live with your other partner or not? Can new person host?

Do they have a job and a car? These are requirements I have, anyway. I want a stable solid person who isn't just drifting. I want them to be able to contribute money-wise for dates, special occasions, trips, etc.

The first thing is to know within yourself what kind of second relationship you want, so you can share that with the new person, and then they can tell you how much they have to offer, timewise, emotionally, etc.

Also, make sure you share enough interests to make the relationship worth it.
 
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