FlowerCrown
New member
Hello lovely people.
I am a woman in my late thirties, newly living alone. About 6 months ago I met a man and developed a quick deep friendship and a hell of a crush. I do not deeply connect with people often, and was honestly quite shocked how easily we did. This man is poly, and I asked him what that meant. I had never given much thought to other relationship models, letting social conditioning dictate monogamy as the only real or correct way, though a broader concept of ENM has still been on the table in my monogamous relationships because I've always felt that total strict monogamy is kind of unrealistic and... bullshit.
I began soul searching. I started reading and listening to everything I could find. I started lurking on this forum and learning from all your experiences and discussions. I decided poly was something that I wanted for my life, it speaks volumes to me. After a couple of months I finally broached the topic with my long term (8yrs) monogamous romantic partner. He was surprisingly not completely shut down by the idea, but he was more interested in just exploring group sex with me. He did not like the idea of me developing outside relationships without him, he did not have any desire of his own to meet new people and develop new connections or fall in love. I wanted that for him, I wanted that for me. He would not see past himself "being replaced." There were several factors that went into the end of that relationship beyond dropping a "poly bomb" onto it, and ultimately it was a toxic relationship that needed to end, and I recognize how better off I am now that I am on the other side.
I have not lived alone since my early twenties, haven't been single since either, and I am so damn excited to start on a new journey of being on my own, unencumbered by a nesting partner, open to develop new relationships in whichever ways they want to develop. I spent so much of my life thinking the "escalator" was the only goal and now that I have joyfully lept off of it, I'm in no hurry to, if ever, get back on. I am open to experience what comes next in life, and looking forward to meeting new people of a poly mindset to continue to learn and grow.
I am a woman in my late thirties, newly living alone. About 6 months ago I met a man and developed a quick deep friendship and a hell of a crush. I do not deeply connect with people often, and was honestly quite shocked how easily we did. This man is poly, and I asked him what that meant. I had never given much thought to other relationship models, letting social conditioning dictate monogamy as the only real or correct way, though a broader concept of ENM has still been on the table in my monogamous relationships because I've always felt that total strict monogamy is kind of unrealistic and... bullshit.
I began soul searching. I started reading and listening to everything I could find. I started lurking on this forum and learning from all your experiences and discussions. I decided poly was something that I wanted for my life, it speaks volumes to me. After a couple of months I finally broached the topic with my long term (8yrs) monogamous romantic partner. He was surprisingly not completely shut down by the idea, but he was more interested in just exploring group sex with me. He did not like the idea of me developing outside relationships without him, he did not have any desire of his own to meet new people and develop new connections or fall in love. I wanted that for him, I wanted that for me. He would not see past himself "being replaced." There were several factors that went into the end of that relationship beyond dropping a "poly bomb" onto it, and ultimately it was a toxic relationship that needed to end, and I recognize how better off I am now that I am on the other side.
I have not lived alone since my early twenties, haven't been single since either, and I am so damn excited to start on a new journey of being on my own, unencumbered by a nesting partner, open to develop new relationships in whichever ways they want to develop. I spent so much of my life thinking the "escalator" was the only goal and now that I have joyfully lept off of it, I'm in no hurry to, if ever, get back on. I am open to experience what comes next in life, and looking forward to meeting new people of a poly mindset to continue to learn and grow.
