MikuHosage
New member
So recently I was in a V relationship with two men. Well call them G and R. G I have been together with for over a year and a half and I live with him. R I had only dated a few months. We had all been friends for 5 years though. We had decided to have a casual thing between the 3 of us. Me being a Pan woman, G being pan and R being Bi. G had made the finally decision to being R into the relationship though. Things where going great till me and R fell in love. We decided to wait to tell G do to me and G having had a big unrelated fight not long before we realized this. We wanted to give him space between so we didn't pile stress on him. Bad choice made with the best intentions. He figured it out next time we 3 were together. NRE sold us out. I trying to explain that I still loved him that i didn't love him less that it really doesn't have to change anything between me and him. He freaked out understandably I told him I understood why he was upset that it was OK. He tells me now we cant get married or have kids. Hes a firm believer that poly people shouldn't get married or have kids because its not fair to all the partners involves. I tell him poly people get married and have kids all the time. He says no. He then starts on how I broke his trust that we should of told him sooner that he didn't think he needed to make a "no falling in love rule". Our only rule was no kissing between any of us which me and R never broke. I tell him we hadn't planned it that it just happened. He tells me I should just be with R I tell him I want to be with him to. We go around in a circle like this for hours till finally he comes out that hes scared to loose both of us that hes scared R is going to take me from him. We tell him that wont happen we hug it out its all good. Till another fight happens. G takes the game i was playing from me and gets R to play with him. They keep playing my character I tell them to stop to give it back but they don't listen so I shut down and ride it out all the while being upset about not being listened to. They think they're just teasing me that its not upsetting. G can see my face during all this while R cant. R finally sees my upset face knows he messed up tells me sorry and hands his half of the switch controller back. G asks whats wrong. I tell him and i admit i was a bit snappy but i was upset. He gets mad and starts saying I'm playing favorites because I'm not angry at R. I tell him he said sorry and you started it. I go off by myself to cool down and G cools down before bed. Its R's last night with us and asks if I can sleep with him. G tells me its up to me. I tell him I want to sleep with R because its his last night. He says fiiiiiine and proceeds to make guilt tripping sounds while I go over to the futon to snuggle in with R. We both feel guilty R tells me to go that its OK. I tell him sorry. I go over to G and snuggle in with him and he tells me how he wants to be better for me because hes not that physically affectionate while me and R are. We have a OK night. Oral sex happens but after I don't feel happy like I normally do. The next morning I go into the house to get us breakfast, we live in a small trailer, and get a message not 5 minutes later than R is grilling him about what we where talking about last night that he knew we where talking but couldn't hear and if this was how it was going to be it wont work. I go back in and ask to talk to R alone. I ask him about it and he looks like a kicked puppy saying he just wanted to know if things were OK. I tell him that's what i figured. I ask him what we are going to do about it he says he doesn't want to cause issues between me and G and thinks we should break up. I nod I tell him I understand even if it hurts. I go and tell G our decision and G tells us that we should just take a break not break up. I say OK and R agrees. So R goes back home and we are on a break. We talk a lot like friends though wed tell each other I love you once in a while when we felt the other needed it. We didn't think its an issue. About a week later G starts complaining that R doesn't talk to him as much as me and wont play games with him. R says they're talking the same amount as ever and just doesn't have the time with his job to play games. I stay out of it. Then I come back from being in the house and G has read my messages to R and is upset that were still saying I love you to each other. I explain that I didn't know it was an issue since it was just a break. He says it is. He decides he can handle us sneaking around behind his back anymore and tells me he read my messages because he doesn't trust me anymore after keeping the fact me and R fell in love from him. He tells me i have to choose. I ask him what he thought polyamory meant and he tells me the definition but then says that he signed up for the sexual but not the romantic. I message R and explain whats going on and how I don't know how i can choose because on one hand i have someone I've built and planned a life with who i do love but is making me pick while one the other i have the new guy who i clicked hard and fast with but is telling me hell love me no matter what i choose. R decides to choose for me and breaks up fully with me. I tell G heartbroken and he says that it doesn't fix things that i have to win his trust back that if i wallow in self pity that we will break up. I ask him how can i win his trust back and he tells me to figure it out because hes to tired from all the drama to try anymore. Now I'm mixed up inside wondering if I made the wrong choice or if its just all the hurt. I don't want to loose G he means a lot to me but this has made him someone I don't know. He knew from the start of our relationship that I was poly. I was dating someone else when we started dating. That other relationship burned out on its own peacefully and mutually. I know I'm not innocent in this and that i could of handled some things better.
