On a separate thread, I was soliciting single best piece of advice received from other poly folks. @Magdlyn gave a great answer (as did others) and also encouraged me to share any advice I would give myself. Since my V is less than a year into this, I still don't feel qualified or experienced enough to offer much that I haven't already learned on this wonderful forum or that might be helpful yet <bows to some of the few greats who've been sustaining this amazing community @Tinwen @Evie @Magdlyn @GalaGirl and many others>.
However, a small thing I would offer is the power of the "reconnection ritual" that Bird and I use every time she returns from a date or overnight with Cat. It's silly, but we call it the "tantric hug." It is NOT tantric, and we are fully clothed. I basically sit cross-legged on the bed or floor and she sits in my lap with her arms and legs entwined entirely around me. We just hug and rock gently back and forth while declaring how much we love each other (I can already see some eyes rolling
) but it really helps her transition back to me with full presence and me to her. She looks forward to this after her time with Cat (as do I, of course) and insists that we do it.
So do you and your partner(s) have any kind of reconnection "rituals" or practices that help you make the transition from one partner to another?
However, a small thing I would offer is the power of the "reconnection ritual" that Bird and I use every time she returns from a date or overnight with Cat. It's silly, but we call it the "tantric hug." It is NOT tantric, and we are fully clothed. I basically sit cross-legged on the bed or floor and she sits in my lap with her arms and legs entwined entirely around me. We just hug and rock gently back and forth while declaring how much we love each other (I can already see some eyes rolling
) but it really helps her transition back to me with full presence and me to her. She looks forward to this after her time with Cat (as do I, of course) and insists that we do it.So do you and your partner(s) have any kind of reconnection "rituals" or practices that help you make the transition from one partner to another?
As part of our list of agreements with one another, we have recognized that our perennial garden is a "sacred space" for the two of us and the two of us alone. While Cat and her kids are welcome to visit and enjoy the garden at any time, Cat is not permitted to work or plant in the garden. It's not intended in a mean spirit at all - just recognition that some things, some activities are reserved just for us (I believe Cat and Bird have similar - I would never go dancing at the same LGBTQIA+ friendly club where they go unless specifically invited by both of them.)