D's (my husband's) answers
1. We had problems trusting each other early in our relationship.
0
2. Our relationship revolves around our children (or for childless couples, we disagree on whether or not to have children).
1 ("because how can it not")
3. My partner spends too much time away from home.
0
4. My partner rarely takes my side in anything.
0
5. We've grown apart.
0
6. I have felt alone and unsupported at times of loss or crises.
0
7. We don't have equal input for important decisions.
0
8. We argue about the frequency of sex.
1 (he wants more, he sees frequency as a barometer of something)
9. Our interactions feel more like a parent-child relationship than one between equals.
0
10. We are uncomfortable about exposing our inner selves to each other.
0
11. We sweep things under the rug so we hardly ever fight.
0
12. There's a disparity in how invested we are in the relationship.
0
13. I feel I can't influence my partner to do what I request.
0
14. I don't know if I really love my partner.
0
15. We don't know how to repair after a conflict.
0 (can't think of any conflicts)
16. We don't have much in common.
0 (We have much in common, our general outlook, life philosophy, empathy)
2 points for D.
My results were:
1 point for me, and I'm gonna add 3 points for the question I don't know the answer to. So 4.
So, Safe Harbor it is