Showing affection in front of other partners

[SourGirl]

Actually, Somegeezer, I`ve never had any men in my life, that care for me, who haven`t offered a MFM-type dealio. All are straight in orientation, too. They are givers and pleasers, and enjoy fulfilling my fantasies. It can be a very loving, giving, act.

Funny thing though-- outside of the bed I am not comfortable doing the affection-between-all scenario. I`d just rather not.

I'm working on it, as I realize I need to find some compromise in this area. So I will follow this topic with interest.

 

[LovingRadiance]

I find it unfortunate that Maca does not enjoy seeing you and GG being close. I find all the cuddling up on the sofa thing extremely satisfying. Is GG the same towards Maca in anything you and Maca do together?

The sex thing doesn't seem all that uncommon, really. What are the chances that you would find two men who would even want to be next to each other with their bits and pieces out, never mind actually being able to cooperate when doing something like that? I think if it were females, it would be slightly easier for them to be there with each other, but I'm sure just as hard when deciding who should be doing what. I mean, that is just my personal conclusion by the way people talk about it to me. I've never had experience with either situation.

GG doesn't have the same sense of "entitlement," so he doesn't have issues with seeing Maca and me together. He does, however, get very self-conscious doing anything with me in front of Maca.

As for the sex together thing-- it's not too hard to "keep 'em separated." In a previous relationship, MFM threesomes were a fairly common occurrence for me. Both men were very very straight. They just took turns, so to speak, with any given body part that they were wanting to attend to.

As for touching women, I've done FMF as well, with Maca even, and it's not difficult for me to do that either. It's just a matter of knowing what you do, or do not wish to do, and allowing the other people to do the same.

 

[LovingRadiance]

They are givers and pleasers, and enjoy fulfilling my fantasies. It can be a very loving, giving, act.

Can we give that a name?

"What are you?"
"I'm a giver & pleaser."
"Ooooohhhhh! I LOVE those types!"

 

[Somegeezer]

Actually Somegeezer, I`ve never had any men in my life, that care for me, who haven`t offered a MFM-type dealio. All are straight in orientation, too. They are givers and pleasers, and enjoy fulfilling my fantasies. It can be a very loving, giving, act.

Funny thing though, outside of the bed, I am not comfortable doing the affection-between-all scenario. I`d just rather not.

I`m working on it, as I realize I need to find some compromise in this area. So I will follow this topic with interest.

I figured someone would have a lot of experience with the opposite. It's cool that you have found men like that, too. I'm not one of them, personally. I can admire a good-looking man, but I do not want to be joining in with sex. I wouldn't mind sleeping in the same bed, though. Say I was in a V with a female hinge [I think I'm using the correct terms!] and she wanted to sleep in the same bed with the both of us. I'd have no problem.

I would be comfortable with showing affection outside. I couldn't care less about people looking and feeling weird about it, even if I had multiple partners. What business is it of the public? Is is my happiness and the happiness of my partners that matters. If THEY were uncomfortable with it, is the only time I would stop myself.

I am very interested in this topic myself, as you might have seen. It's enjoyable to talk about.

 

[Somegeezer]

Can we give that a name?

"What are you?"
"I'm a giver & pleaser."
"Ooooohhhhh! I LOVE those types!"

As opposed to the givers and unpleasers.

"How thoughtful... Too bad your thoughts did not correlate with mine. Take it back."

*Hides and prepares for it to go over your heads*

 

[LovingRadiance]

I would love the opportunity to SLEEP curled up between the guys, but somehow that is even more difficult. It's easy enough to have sex without touching the third party, or having them touch you. But if you are cuddly, it's damn difficult to sleep without touching, and that one is beyond comfort zones for my guys.

 

[LovingRadiance]

You're funny. I like people who are easygoing and willing to joke around, even in serious conversations.

I'm right with you also on the "I don't give a shit what people think, if I want to hold both hands in public I will" attitude.

I'd say "fuck 'em," but that just comes out a little wrong, in light of the context.

 

[Somegeezer]

I would love the opportunity to SLEEP curled up between the guys-but somehow that is even more difficult. It's easy enough to have sex without touching the third party or having them touch you. But if you are cuddly, it's damn difficult to sleep without touching, and that one is beyond comfort zones for my guys.

Yeah, I don't mind all the cuddliness and stuff. That's why I wouldn't mind being in same beds. I don't think I'd particularly mind if they really wanted to go at it with me there, either. If I really need to sleep, I will anyway. I sleep through anything. It'll probably be the death of me though. House is burning down and the most I do is throw my quilt off in my sleep, so I can cool down.

You're funny.

I'm right with you on the "I don't give a shit what people think, if I want to hold both hands in public I will" attitude. I'd say "fuck 'em," but that just comes out a little wrong in light of the context.

I'm glad it was found somewhat amusing. I find it hard to tell when my humour will go down well. >.<

Haha. Certainly wouldn't want to "fuck 'em." But yes, I agree, they should just mind their own business and concentrate on making their own relationships work, rather than judging me on mine (were I in one). Even in all the mono relationships I've been in, there is always someone with a disgusted face when you show your affection in public.

 

[TruckerPete]

Sleeping between both gents is definitely a fantasy of mine. Given the number of pets and the fact that we only have a double bed means that this one will have to wait, if it's to come to fruition.

Like you, LR, I have no interest in (sexually) having both men at once, as their lovemaking styles are different and I wouldn't be able to relax for fear of someone getting their feelings hurt, or what have you.

I would love to be part of a FMF. though, whether it's just sex, or something more significant. I had a few encounters with a friend and her BF (both straight). When it worked, we focussed solely on him, and it was pretty awesome. Unfortunately, it mostly didn't work.

Cuddle piles on the couch effing ROCK, especially if I'm sick or down. The loving energy is amazing.

Last night was, now that I think about, the first time the three of us held hands in public. We were at a concert. In our seats, I kind of giggled to myself, because I wondered what the people behind must think. When we were leaving the concert, I wasn't concerned about what people would think of us holding hands in terms of our relationship structure. I was actually more worried they'd be annoyed that we were walking three across in a relatively crowded area.

 

[Somegeezer]

I was actually more worried they'd be annoyed that we were walking three across in a relatively crowded area.

I admit to being one of those who gets annoyed at this, actually. I have places to go and don't appreciate it all that much. I remember all the girls did that with their friends back in school, taking up the whole corridor and walking reeeeeeeally slowly. I was often late to my lessons because of this.

 

[TruckerPete]

I admit to being one of those who gets annoyed at this actually. I have places to go and don't appreciate it all that much. I remember all the girls did that with their friends back in school, taking up the whole corridor and walking reeeeeeeally slowly. I was often late to my lessons because of this.

Well, we walked quickly.

 

[LovingRadiance]

Yeah, I don't mind all the cuddliness and stuff. That's why I wouldn't mind being in same beds. I don't think I'd particularly mind if they really wanted to go at it with me there, either. If I really need to sleep, I will anyway. I sleep through anything. It'll probably be the death of me though. House is burning down and the most I do is throw my quilt off in my sleep, so I can cool down.

I can see it now...

"Man found dead in house fire. He was evidently passed out so hard when his lover and her OSO were making love in the bed next to him that he did not awaken to the cacophony around him. The lover and OSO claim that their own lovemaking was so wild that a candle got kicked over and the entire carpet was in flames before they realized there was a problem. They were unable to rouse him and unable to move him from the
bed without dropping him on the burning carpet.

Emergency service personnel were able to remove him through the window, but he was pronounced dead from severe smoke inhalation at the scene of the fire.

The lover was taken to the hospital under sedation, hysterical over her evident loss. The OSO accompanied her, suffering shock, smoke inhalation and 1st degree burns on his arms and legs.

Authorities are investigating the story of this apparent "poly-V" dynamic to ensure that this wasn't a murder. There is some question as to the validity of the story, due to the unusual nature of the claimed relationship. However, thus far all details seem to check out in this bizarre "love-triangle, death-by-fire situation."



I couldn't resist.

 

[LovingRadiance]

I have been told that I better let you all know that Spicy Pea suggested that amusing take on the dynamic. (No, she's not too young. She's 19 and pregnant, so she can handle a few amusing stories from the poly board.)

I would love a cuddle pile, but unfortunately, that seems to always result in awkwardness with Maca, as well. Hopefully in time he will relax. He has no issue doing these things with his OSO and me. He just has issues with doing it when it's MY OSO.

 

[TruckerPete]

I have been told that I better let you all know that Spicy Pea suggested that amusing take on the dynamic.

I enjoyed it!

 

[LovingRadiance]

I'll let her know. She was laughing over the abrupt switch of topics in his post, and whilst I knew exactly what he was saying, it was cute. Hope he enjoys our humor too!

And of course, I hope that never actually happens!!

 

[Somegeezer]

Haha, I loved it. I may have to save it to my computer.

So we've come to the conclusion that showing affection in front of other partners leads to death by smoke inhalation. I hope we've all learnt from this.

 

[Tonberry]

Haha, I loved it. So we've come to the conclusion that showing affection in front of other partners leads to death by smoke inhalation. I hope we've all learnt from this.

I think the conclusion is actually to not to fall asleep, and to stay up and watch. That way you can prevent the fire, or at least run for your life!

 

[Somegeezer]

I think the conclusion is actually not to fall asleep, and to stay up and watch. That way you can prevent the fire, or at least run for your life!

Shh, don't tell them that, they might enjoy it.

That makes me think of another question, though. In the privacy of your own home, when 2 are doing their thing in the bedroom, would most people sleep on the sofa or the spare room instead? *assuming you would usually sleep together anyway*

 

[Ariakas]

I figured someone would have a lot of experience with the opposite. It's cool that you have found men like that too. I'm not one of them personally. I can admire a good looking man, but I do not want to be joining in with sex. I wouldn't mind sleeping in the same bed though. Say I was in a V with a female hinge [I think I'm using the correct terms!] and She wanted to sleep in the same bed with the both of us. I'd have no problem.

When I was your age, I would have answered the same way. At 18 I wasn't ready. Now I would try and do it in a heartbeat, for either of my lovers. I have yet to do it, but I would give it the old college try.

For me personally, cuddling is really intimate. I don't do it with just anyone, and sure as heck wouldn't do it with another guy. Having sex, with the woman, for the woman, is very different then cuddling in close with another dude.

I am a PDA guy. I like affection and I like showing it. It's how I roll. I am physical with those I love.

 

[Somegeezer]

When I was your age, I would have answered the same way. At 18 I wasn't ready. Now I would try and do it in a heartbeat, for either of my lovers. I have yet to do it...but I would give it the old college try.

For me personally, cuddling is really intimate. I don't do it with just anyone, and sure as heck wouldn't do it with another guy. Having sex, with the woman, for the woman, is very different then cuddling in close with another dude.

I am a PDA guy. I like affection and I like showing it.

So you feel that you and another guy having sex with the same woman at the same time is less hard for you than cuddling with them both?

I don't find it is anything to do with my age that I wouldn't do that. I just feel more comfortable with the opposite. Most likely, I'd always be on the opposite side of our female partner and my cuddles would be intended for her, but if he is in the same bed, he'd sure better not be too sensitive to the idea of my arms round him too.

I'm just not attracted to guys in a sexual way, and so would never want to be involved, even side-by-side during sex. If watching was involved, I'd be concentrating on the woman. But I would rather he was watching us than me watching them. I'd most likely leave them alone for it and just sleep in another room.

If it were a triad relationship with 2 women, however, I'd be happy to have them both join in. But I feel it could probably be awkward. I shall just have to wait and see if that experience comes my way. But if it was just a V, again, I'd leave them to their business.