Smelling the flowers
- Thread starter Petunia
- Start date
Thanks, Reverie! Team Fun Hair, I like that. LOL
Sunday's 9,400 Steps
I unpacked boxes Sunday. By 9 PM my Fitbit had recorded 9,400 steps. That's a lot of steps considering each one was taken inside the house.
We started the moving process 20 minutes behind schedule Saturday morning, but everything else hit our timeline perfectly, or within 3 minutes of our target. That's pretty remarkable.
We delivered Bond's living room furniture to M's husband's house and were to my place to load my things by 1:03 pm. We dropped off the truck at U-Haul by 4:30 PM. Success.
The fun part was that there was a third seat in the U-Haul, so Bond's youngest son got to come with us. He was so excited. It was his first time riding in the "front" seat and the first time for him to be in such a big vehicle. He was seeing the road from a totally new perspective and it was really cute.
At some point in the day he asked his dad if I was moving. I believe this was as we were unloading my things. And his next question was where. He was delighted (thank goodness!) when he heard that I was moving into their house.
Middle son was delighted with the beautiful things. I think he also adjusted to the change up in living room furniture. He hadn't known the other furniture was going until we were leaving to pick up the truck and he wasn't pleased about it. He was trying to recruit all the kids to lay on it so that we couldn't take it out. I think he fell in love with my arm chair that has a swivel base. I have to admit, it's pretty fucking cool and fun! And he didn't seem to mind laying on my leather sofa as opposed to his father's even though mine doesn't smell like cat pee. Bwahahaha! He really liked the blown glass vases and the modern display unit. He has an artistic eye and that pulled him in. He offered up his opinion as to placement of items and thought the museum gel was pretty nifty.
I really wish Bond would have talked to the boys about me moving in like I had asked him to. I'm grateful that they seem to like the idea and were cool about it being sprung on them without advanced warning.
The only one who seems to possibly be struggling with my moving in is M. She wasn't at her husband's house when we delivered the furniture and she didn't meet us at Bond's later, either. She has had a number of posts on Facebook like this, "I've had a rough week, bodywise and heartwise," and this, "Today my body is in pain and my heart is pissed off." Yesterday Beatdown practice was held at The Beach, because it's gotten too cold outside to meet in the park. M sent Bond a message saying she wasn't going to make it and that she wasn't sure how many practices she'd be coming to during the winter. Which goes back to her needing me to be outside of her two-mile perimeter boundary during practice. Bond is to the point where he just doesn't care.
He has pulled me into him multiple times in the past week to tell me how glad he is that I am there. I know he misses M and that he is sad that she is pulling away, but overall, I believe he's more happy that he and I are happening and that his life is shaping up this way. So, he's got the bittersweet going on.
It weighs on my heart that she feels like this. I have been filtering my posts on FB so that I barely mention anything that is happening in my life in an attempt to not be in her face about things. Not only does it cause me anxiety to think that my posts can potentially cause her pain, but knowing Bond is also feeling anxiety over my sharing adds another layer. On another level, though, it makes me kind of pissed off, because I can't just be me and share my life with my family and friends like I normally would.
On a positive note: M sent Bond a date invitation for Wednesday. It was nice that she initiated it without him having to send multiple invites hoping she'll accept one. This sends the message that she is still interested, even if she's having a hard time, and his heart needed to feel that.
Scheduling: I need to come up with a plan that works better for Golden. He seems to hit a wall at Day 4. I believe he likes having two days consecutively, so that has left us with a Thursday to Sunday span without date time several weeks in a row. He's been getting three dates/week and Bond has been getting four. I don't think he's going to be happy until he gets time every few days which means we need to quit scheduling back to back nights. Other alternatives give him four nights/week which means less time for me with Bond and then I feel the imbalance.
Crazy pants item: we put my TV in the master bedroom. It's crazy big and looks even bigger in that setting. Bond says he wants to watch porn on it.
I unpacked boxes Sunday. By 9 PM my Fitbit had recorded 9,400 steps. That's a lot of steps considering each one was taken inside the house.
We started the moving process 20 minutes behind schedule Saturday morning, but everything else hit our timeline perfectly, or within 3 minutes of our target. That's pretty remarkable.
We delivered Bond's living room furniture to M's husband's house and were to my place to load my things by 1:03 pm. We dropped off the truck at U-Haul by 4:30 PM. Success. The fun part was that there was a third seat in the U-Haul, so Bond's youngest son got to come with us. He was so excited. It was his first time riding in the "front" seat and the first time for him to be in such a big vehicle. He was seeing the road from a totally new perspective and it was really cute.
At some point in the day he asked his dad if I was moving. I believe this was as we were unloading my things. And his next question was where. He was delighted (thank goodness!) when he heard that I was moving into their house.
Middle son was delighted with the beautiful things. I think he also adjusted to the change up in living room furniture. He hadn't known the other furniture was going until we were leaving to pick up the truck and he wasn't pleased about it. He was trying to recruit all the kids to lay on it so that we couldn't take it out. I think he fell in love with my arm chair that has a swivel base. I have to admit, it's pretty fucking cool and fun! And he didn't seem to mind laying on my leather sofa as opposed to his father's even though mine doesn't smell like cat pee. Bwahahaha! He really liked the blown glass vases and the modern display unit. He has an artistic eye and that pulled him in. He offered up his opinion as to placement of items and thought the museum gel was pretty nifty.
I really wish Bond would have talked to the boys about me moving in like I had asked him to. I'm grateful that they seem to like the idea and were cool about it being sprung on them without advanced warning.
The only one who seems to possibly be struggling with my moving in is M. She wasn't at her husband's house when we delivered the furniture and she didn't meet us at Bond's later, either. She has had a number of posts on Facebook like this, "I've had a rough week, bodywise and heartwise," and this, "Today my body is in pain and my heart is pissed off." Yesterday Beatdown practice was held at The Beach, because it's gotten too cold outside to meet in the park. M sent Bond a message saying she wasn't going to make it and that she wasn't sure how many practices she'd be coming to during the winter. Which goes back to her needing me to be outside of her two-mile perimeter boundary during practice. Bond is to the point where he just doesn't care.
He has pulled me into him multiple times in the past week to tell me how glad he is that I am there. I know he misses M and that he is sad that she is pulling away, but overall, I believe he's more happy that he and I are happening and that his life is shaping up this way. So, he's got the bittersweet going on.
It weighs on my heart that she feels like this. I have been filtering my posts on FB so that I barely mention anything that is happening in my life in an attempt to not be in her face about things. Not only does it cause me anxiety to think that my posts can potentially cause her pain, but knowing Bond is also feeling anxiety over my sharing adds another layer. On another level, though, it makes me kind of pissed off, because I can't just be me and share my life with my family and friends like I normally would.
On a positive note: M sent Bond a date invitation for Wednesday. It was nice that she initiated it without him having to send multiple invites hoping she'll accept one.
This sends the message that she is still interested, even if she's having a hard time, and his heart needed to feel that. Scheduling: I need to come up with a plan that works better for Golden. He seems to hit a wall at Day 4. I believe he likes having two days consecutively, so that has left us with a Thursday to Sunday span without date time several weeks in a row. He's been getting three dates/week and Bond has been getting four. I don't think he's going to be happy until he gets time every few days which means we need to quit scheduling back to back nights. Other alternatives give him four nights/week which means less time for me with Bond and then I feel the imbalance.
Crazy pants item: we put my TV in the master bedroom. It's crazy big and looks even bigger in that setting. Bond says he wants to watch porn on it.
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Irony!
I forgot to tell you this! So, we had a kid with when we were moving and guess what?! He was quite useful because it turns out I had about half a dozen Popsicles in the freezer that needed to eaten. He was just the kid for the job, too!
I have a feeling that he'd have done an equally admirable job if it had been a closet full of candy.
I forgot to tell you this! So, we had a kid with when we were moving and guess what?! He was quite useful because it turns out I had about half a dozen Popsicles in the freezer that needed to eaten. He was just the kid for the job, too!
I have a feeling that he'd have done an equally admirable job if it had been a closet full of candy.
Sorry! It is confusing because it's both; it's a martial arts group (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or BJJ) and the group's origin is from the BDSM community. In fact, their meetings are posted on Fetlife, so there is a strong tie to the kink community.
"The Beach" is Bond's house, named by Golden and it is a play on the street name.
Hannahfluke
Member
In regards to the Facebook problem, there is a function on Facebook that allows you to exclude certain people from seeing your posts. I usually use the function of making groups of people (I have a co-workers group, family, high school, ex-Mormon friends, and poly, to name a few) and if I'm posting something I know will piss off my family, I exclude them. Or if I'm posting something that is really not work appropriate or that I don't want them to know about me, I'll exclude them. Really, I mostly post things like that just to the poly group I've created among my friends list (it may be called a list instead of a group). But there's another option that you can choose who gets to read your post. That might be a solution, to basically block M from reading your posts so that you can be yourself without feeling like you are hurting her and making Bond anxious.
Schedule Adjustments
As I stated previously, Golden struggles when we have too many days between dates. He hits a wall at four days. I know how this feels, because that's my limit with Bond. If I go beyond four days I start to feel it keenly. I hate it when I reach this threshold, so I can only imagine how it makes Golden feel and this happens more often for him than it does these days for me. We talked about schedule changes while on our nightly walk last night. It was hard to discuss it in depth, because Beanie was with and although she was lagging behind for most of the walk (walking under protest) there were times when she'd run to catch up and then tail us fairly close for a distance. We decided to swap our Tuesday night for Friday night this week. This will give him Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday this week, with Bond getting Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Thursday is Bond's birthday and we're both taking vacation days, going on a distillery tour in the early afternoon and out to dinner with friends that evening. Saturday is his company Halloween party. I could have simply added Friday to Golden's date nights and maybe I should have, but I didn't want to give up my Bond time. I need my balance, too. It's unfortunate that I don't feel that unquenchable desire for Golden's time like I do for Bond's, because we'd be more balanced in our desires then and this would feel more even. Who knows, maybe at bedtime I'll decide to slip into Golden's bedroom instead. Goodness knows I could use the sleep. Bond is such a night owl. Last night it was 2:00 am before we quit talking and closed our eyes. Morning sucked monkey balls.
I want to go buy pumpkins, but me being me, I want to go to the place I know and love. And it's 50 minutes away. I'm ridiculous. I'm sure other places have huge selections, too, but....but...what if they don't?
I want to go back here:
OMG, I just realized I'm going to be close to my pumpkin place today, because of my dentist appointment. Woot! Pumpkins here I come!!!
As I stated previously, Golden struggles when we have too many days between dates. He hits a wall at four days. I know how this feels, because that's my limit with Bond. If I go beyond four days I start to feel it keenly. I hate it when I reach this threshold, so I can only imagine how it makes Golden feel and this happens more often for him than it does these days for me. We talked about schedule changes while on our nightly walk last night. It was hard to discuss it in depth, because Beanie was with and although she was lagging behind for most of the walk (walking under protest) there were times when she'd run to catch up and then tail us fairly close for a distance. We decided to swap our Tuesday night for Friday night this week. This will give him Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday this week, with Bond getting Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Thursday is Bond's birthday and we're both taking vacation days, going on a distillery tour in the early afternoon and out to dinner with friends that evening. Saturday is his company Halloween party. I could have simply added Friday to Golden's date nights and maybe I should have, but I didn't want to give up my Bond time. I need my balance, too. It's unfortunate that I don't feel that unquenchable desire for Golden's time like I do for Bond's, because we'd be more balanced in our desires then and this would feel more even. Who knows, maybe at bedtime I'll decide to slip into Golden's bedroom instead. Goodness knows I could use the sleep. Bond is such a night owl. Last night it was 2:00 am before we quit talking and closed our eyes. Morning sucked monkey balls.
I want to go buy pumpkins, but me being me, I want to go to the place I know and love. And it's 50 minutes away. I'm ridiculous. I'm sure other places have huge selections, too, but....but...what if they don't?
I want to go back here:
OMG, I just realized I'm going to be close to my pumpkin place today, because of my dentist appointment. Woot! Pumpkins here I come!!!
I need to explore this more fully. I've talked with Golden about this, but that's all it's been is talk. I don't necessarily want to block her, but that was the option that seemed most effective. I don't really want her to know she's being shielded from what I post. I want her to be able to contact me via Messenger if she wishes. I just don't need to be in her face.
Thanks, I'll explore these options.
Hannahfluke
Member
Yeah, I don't think I'd feel right blocking her completely if I were you either. I don't know much about the whole thing with excluding just a specific person or people, since I've always done the list thing, but KC43 and I talked about this same thing on her blog a while ago and she figured out the whole excluding people (in her case, her in-laws) so if you need help you could reach out to her. Good luck figuring it out!I need to explore this more fully. I've talked with Golden about this, but that's all it's been is talk. I don't necessarily want to block her, but that was the option that seemed most effective. I don't really want her to know she's being shielded from what I post. I want her to be able to contact me via Messenger if she wishes. I just don't need to be in her face.
Thanks, I'll explore these options.
When Golden walked in the door tonight one of the first things out of his mouth was that he had an exercise for us to do. Very typical Golden. He's always looking for ways to connect and always challenging me.
The exercise was 10 Reasons Why We Are Lucky to Be Together. I thought we had three sets of 10, but it was intended to be a title and then the two lists of 10. I had already listed 4 things under the title by the time I realized I was doing it wrong, so Golden did the same.
His list*:
*note: Golden messes up tenses and drops words often
My list:
10 reasons why Golden and I are lucky to be together
-Anytime you find someone that clicks with you you’re lucky
-Our love languages are nearly identical, so we’re well matched in how we show and receive love
-We both believe in being vulnerable
-The sex!
10 or more reasons why I am lucky to be with Golden
-He prioritizes me over many things in his life
-He is kind and considerate
-He tries to understand me
-He tries to see the positive side of things, even in difficult situations
-He challenges me and himself
-When we are together he focuses on us/me
-His actions support his words. He demonstrates his love in many ways, every day. He sends me sweet texts and checks in with me throughout my day. He pulls me aside for hugs and kisses.
-He is a good communicator
-He’s willing to share me with others, he’s good at polyamory
-He confides in me and has made himself vulnerable
-He’s patient
10 or more reasons why he is lucky to be with me
-I love him
-I value him
-I want to bring value into his life
-I want to help him reach his goals. I see my way to help with this is by helping where I can with his kids, with chores around the house, and by being there to listen and offer support.
-I make myself vulnerable to him
-I trust him
-I am a great snuggler
-I like his butt
-I like listening to him talk
-I like getting into intellectual conversations - even if they are over my head, and he likes having someone with whom he can do that with
We read them during our walk tonight. It was endearing to see what he wrote and it was also pretty fantastic to see where we overlapped. He wrote two things in his first four list that I had written and then deleted, because I wasn't sure it was appropriate to write that we were lucky to have Bond, (because it meant that we got to live together) when this list was supposed to be about us and the other was that we were lucky that both of us had past experiences that make us value what we have now.
Overall, I like his list better. I think he had more time to contemplate things. Regardless, I'm not unhappy with my list.
Bond came home from work after 8 o'clock and he may return yet tonight. The later it gets the less likely I think that is, but it's not off the table. I can't even imagine.
The exercise was 10 Reasons Why We Are Lucky to Be Together. I thought we had three sets of 10, but it was intended to be a title and then the two lists of 10. I had already listed 4 things under the title by the time I realized I was doing it wrong, so Golden did the same.
His list*:
*note: Golden messes up tenses and drops words often
10 reasons why Petunia & I are lucky to be together
- our languages are almost identical
- we both work hard on relationship and know from lost why this is so special
- sex is great
- because how many people get to live with someone as awesome as Bond?
10 or more reasons why I am lucky to be with her
- I am luck that she wants deep connection
- I am luck she is a nature caretaker
- I am lucky she works hard at relationships
- I am lucky that we speak the same love language and dialogue of touch
- I am lucky she enjoys sex with me
- I am lucky she is willing to be family
- I am lucky her mother and father seem to like me
- I am lucky she is poly
- I am lucky she is so generous
- I am lucky she smart
10 or more reasons she is lucky to be with me
- she is lucky to have me, because I will love her with all my heart.
- because I will work hard to be the best partner I can be with her.
- because I want her to be happy
- because I want her to be her authentic self
- because I will be vulnerable with her
- because I hope we grow old together
- because I love being a life partner oh hers
- because I when I go to sleep I miss her when she is not there.
- because I Love how I can be myself with her
- because I will never give up on her unless doing so is the most loving thing I can do.
- our languages are almost identical
- we both work hard on relationship and know from lost why this is so special
- sex is great
- because how many people get to live with someone as awesome as Bond?
10 or more reasons why I am lucky to be with her
- I am luck that she wants deep connection
- I am luck she is a nature caretaker
- I am lucky she works hard at relationships
- I am lucky that we speak the same love language and dialogue of touch
- I am lucky she enjoys sex with me
- I am lucky she is willing to be family
- I am lucky her mother and father seem to like me
- I am lucky she is poly
- I am lucky she is so generous
- I am lucky she smart
10 or more reasons she is lucky to be with me
- she is lucky to have me, because I will love her with all my heart.
- because I will work hard to be the best partner I can be with her.
- because I want her to be happy
- because I want her to be her authentic self
- because I will be vulnerable with her
- because I hope we grow old together
- because I love being a life partner oh hers
- because I when I go to sleep I miss her when she is not there.
- because I Love how I can be myself with her
- because I will never give up on her unless doing so is the most loving thing I can do.
My list:
10 reasons why Golden and I are lucky to be together
-Anytime you find someone that clicks with you you’re lucky
-Our love languages are nearly identical, so we’re well matched in how we show and receive love
-We both believe in being vulnerable
-The sex!
10 or more reasons why I am lucky to be with Golden
-He prioritizes me over many things in his life
-He is kind and considerate
-He tries to understand me
-He tries to see the positive side of things, even in difficult situations
-He challenges me and himself
-When we are together he focuses on us/me
-His actions support his words. He demonstrates his love in many ways, every day. He sends me sweet texts and checks in with me throughout my day. He pulls me aside for hugs and kisses.
-He is a good communicator
-He’s willing to share me with others, he’s good at polyamory
-He confides in me and has made himself vulnerable
-He’s patient
10 or more reasons why he is lucky to be with me
-I love him
-I value him
-I want to bring value into his life
-I want to help him reach his goals. I see my way to help with this is by helping where I can with his kids, with chores around the house, and by being there to listen and offer support.
-I make myself vulnerable to him
-I trust him
-I am a great snuggler
-I like his butt
-I like listening to him talk
-I like getting into intellectual conversations - even if they are over my head, and he likes having someone with whom he can do that with
We read them during our walk tonight. It was endearing to see what he wrote and it was also pretty fantastic to see where we overlapped. He wrote two things in his first four list that I had written and then deleted, because I wasn't sure it was appropriate to write that we were lucky to have Bond, (because it meant that we got to live together) when this list was supposed to be about us and the other was that we were lucky that both of us had past experiences that make us value what we have now.
Overall, I like his list better. I think he had more time to contemplate things. Regardless, I'm not unhappy with my list.
Bond came home from work after 8 o'clock and he may return yet tonight. The later it gets the less likely I think that is, but it's not off the table. I can't even imagine.
Leveling Up!
Yesterday was Bond's birthday, or as we like to phrase it, he leveled up.
Bond and M had a date scheduled for Wednesday night and it sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun. They were going to go to Fetish Night at a bar downtown. Unfortunately, M ended up in the hospital because of a kidney infection. She didn't really want company, because she was craving sleep, so Bond didn't visit her that night. He worked until 3 AM instead.
Even though I was with Golden, I slept fitfully because I knew he wasn't home yet and I was also worried about M. The last text I sent him was at 2 AM asking if he really was still at work (the Find My Friends app had already showed me he was, but I was having a hard time believing it) and that I thought he should come home. I was worried he was going to ruin his birthday.
In the morning when Golden got up to get Beanie ready for school I hung out in his bedroom because I didn't want to disturb Bond's sleep. It wasn't long before I got a text that was two emoticons; a heart and a party icon. To hell with hiding out, it was snuggle time! We spent an hour or more cuddling and talking. I tried to slip into bed with him and not really wake him up so that he could fall back to sleep, but he wasn't having that. He started telling me about his night and there was no more sleep happening. Somehow he managed to make it through until midnight last night. I can't do that. I can't go without sleep. I get a splitting headache and turn into a zombie.
He really liked my birthday present to him, a small drone with a video camera. After listening to the directions and cautions in the literature that came with it, we'll be lucky if the thing doesn't start a fire or crash and burn. I can't believe how many times this toy stated that it wasn't a toy! He was rather reluctant to put it aside to get ready to leave for the brewery tour. Score 1 for the girlfriend!
The drive there was over an hour and it was through beautiful countryside with lots of fall color. We arrived in town about 40 minutes before the tour was scheduled to begin and we wanted to grab some lunch. We weren't familiar with the town so we really didn't know where to go. In the center of town sits an old courthouse and the streets around the square are one-way with lots of parking and store fronts ringing the square. Bond was eyeing up the electrical outlets and we were able to find one we could reach with an extension cord to plug his car in to recharge. We spotted a restaurant right in front of where we parked, but we weren't certain if we wanted to eat there, so we started exploring what our other options were. Along our way a little, old lady who was backing out of a parking stall stopped her car and put down the passenger window to ask us if we were looking for some place to eat. She directed us to her first choice and then said that the restaurant we were parked by was her second favorite. How sweet was that?! We checked out her first choice, but it was quite full and we weren't sure we'd have enough time to eat and make it to the brewery on time, so we traversed back across the square to where we had started, Baumgartner's Country Style Deli Bar & Restaurant. I'm so glad we did! It was so fantastic. It was like stepping back in a time capsule. The first room had booths along one wall and a deli along the other, the second room had more booths and a bar. We opted to sit at the bar. On the wall opposite the bar was a painted map of Switzerland with smaller placards for each county/state (?) with demographic information. On the wall over the bar was a mural of beer steins on left side and wine bottles on the right, fighting a battle, with a phrase above the battle in German that we somewhat deciphered and I cannot recall now. The menu was as unchanged as possible from 1931 as they could keep it. I ordered a braunschweiger sandwich that was served on rye with raw onions on the side. It was served on a small square of freezer paper and cost $3.50. Crazy pants! The ceiling had paper money bills tacked to it and we got to witness one of the servers sticking a couple more to the ceiling by pushing a tack through the center and then wrapping the bill around a stack of three quarters that were taped together as a weight and than heaving it to the ceiling in hopes that it would stick and hold - which it did. We were told that the money is donated from patrons which is then donated to charity once a year. Last year the total came to $11,000. Very cool.
The brewery tour was FUN. Neither of us had ever been on one before, although we have both wanted to for ages. The brewery is the oldest brewery in the Midwest and the 2nd oldest in the nation and is one of the top ten largest breweries in the America. It has a very interesting history that includes brushes with the mob during Prohibition. We sampled a beer of our choosing at the start of the tour and then had free rein following the tour for a good hour or more. We had thought that if we were done in time that we'd do the distillery tour across the street afterwards, but we were still sampling beer and eating popcorn and having fun when that started. The distillery tour will have to wait for another day.
It's fair to say that I was drunk by day's end. I kept up with Bond drink for drink, but I'm a heck of a lot smaller. Oiy vey. We had time for Bond to check on Z when we got home before taking off for Part II of the birthday celebrations. We left early enough to slip in a micro visit to see M. Bond sent a text after we left the house asking if she'd be okay with that. She replied that she'd rather see him alone which left him trying to figure out how he could manage that today seeing as he'd have the kids tonight. I told him that there was no reason why I couldn't wait in the car while he went in to see her, so that's what we did. It was a terribly short visit, but at least they got a little face time.
B-day Celebration Part II was a lot of fun. I love our friend group. We had cocktails and dinner at one place and then bar hopped to two more before calling it a night. B showed up with light-up flashing bracelets and a Mylar balloon for Bond. We were about blinded by the bracelets and at risk of epileptic seizures until B granted permission for him to shut them off.
One thing about going out with B is that it's like having a friend with amnesia, because she forgets so much shit when she's high and/or drunk. She'll repeat something she said/did previously and have not recollection. It's like Groundhog's Day. I'm sure she has no recollection of kissing me and then pulling out my boob and sucking on it and licking me and telling me I have "the best boobs evah!" when we left the last bar.
My vision is blurry and my eyes are bloodshot today.
Yesterday was Bond's birthday, or as we like to phrase it, he leveled up.
Bond and M had a date scheduled for Wednesday night and it sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun. They were going to go to Fetish Night at a bar downtown. Unfortunately, M ended up in the hospital because of a kidney infection.
She didn't really want company, because she was craving sleep, so Bond didn't visit her that night. He worked until 3 AM instead. Even though I was with Golden, I slept fitfully because I knew he wasn't home yet and I was also worried about M. The last text I sent him was at 2 AM asking if he really was still at work (the Find My Friends app had already showed me he was, but I was having a hard time believing it) and that I thought he should come home. I was worried he was going to ruin his birthday.
In the morning when Golden got up to get Beanie ready for school I hung out in his bedroom because I didn't want to disturb Bond's sleep. It wasn't long before I got a text that was two emoticons; a heart and a party icon. To hell with hiding out, it was snuggle time! We spent an hour or more cuddling and talking. I tried to slip into bed with him and not really wake him up so that he could fall back to sleep, but he wasn't having that. He started telling me about his night and there was no more sleep happening. Somehow he managed to make it through until midnight last night. I can't do that. I can't go without sleep. I get a splitting headache and turn into a zombie.
He really liked my birthday present to him, a small drone with a video camera. After listening to the directions and cautions in the literature that came with it, we'll be lucky if the thing doesn't start a fire or crash and burn. I can't believe how many times this toy stated that it wasn't a toy!
He was rather reluctant to put it aside to get ready to leave for the brewery tour. Score 1 for the girlfriend! The drive there was over an hour and it was through beautiful countryside with lots of fall color. We arrived in town about 40 minutes before the tour was scheduled to begin and we wanted to grab some lunch. We weren't familiar with the town so we really didn't know where to go. In the center of town sits an old courthouse and the streets around the square are one-way with lots of parking and store fronts ringing the square. Bond was eyeing up the electrical outlets and we were able to find one we could reach with an extension cord to plug his car in to recharge. We spotted a restaurant right in front of where we parked, but we weren't certain if we wanted to eat there, so we started exploring what our other options were. Along our way a little, old lady who was backing out of a parking stall stopped her car and put down the passenger window to ask us if we were looking for some place to eat. She directed us to her first choice and then said that the restaurant we were parked by was her second favorite. How sweet was that?! We checked out her first choice, but it was quite full and we weren't sure we'd have enough time to eat and make it to the brewery on time, so we traversed back across the square to where we had started, Baumgartner's Country Style Deli Bar & Restaurant. I'm so glad we did! It was so fantastic. It was like stepping back in a time capsule. The first room had booths along one wall and a deli along the other, the second room had more booths and a bar. We opted to sit at the bar. On the wall opposite the bar was a painted map of Switzerland with smaller placards for each county/state (?) with demographic information. On the wall over the bar was a mural of beer steins on left side and wine bottles on the right, fighting a battle, with a phrase above the battle in German that we somewhat deciphered and I cannot recall now. The menu was as unchanged as possible from 1931 as they could keep it. I ordered a braunschweiger sandwich that was served on rye with raw onions on the side. It was served on a small square of freezer paper and cost $3.50. Crazy pants! The ceiling had paper money bills tacked to it and we got to witness one of the servers sticking a couple more to the ceiling by pushing a tack through the center and then wrapping the bill around a stack of three quarters that were taped together as a weight and than heaving it to the ceiling in hopes that it would stick and hold - which it did. We were told that the money is donated from patrons which is then donated to charity once a year. Last year the total came to $11,000. Very cool.
The brewery tour was FUN. Neither of us had ever been on one before, although we have both wanted to for ages. The brewery is the oldest brewery in the Midwest and the 2nd oldest in the nation and is one of the top ten largest breweries in the America. It has a very interesting history that includes brushes with the mob during Prohibition. We sampled a beer of our choosing at the start of the tour and then had free rein following the tour for a good hour or more. We had thought that if we were done in time that we'd do the distillery tour across the street afterwards, but we were still sampling beer and eating popcorn and having fun when that started. The distillery tour will have to wait for another day.
It's fair to say that I was drunk by day's end. I kept up with Bond drink for drink, but I'm a heck of a lot smaller. Oiy vey. We had time for Bond to check on Z when we got home before taking off for Part II of the birthday celebrations. We left early enough to slip in a micro visit to see M. Bond sent a text after we left the house asking if she'd be okay with that. She replied that she'd rather see him alone which left him trying to figure out how he could manage that today seeing as he'd have the kids tonight. I told him that there was no reason why I couldn't wait in the car while he went in to see her, so that's what we did. It was a terribly short visit, but at least they got a little face time.
B-day Celebration Part II was a lot of fun. I love our friend group. We had cocktails and dinner at one place and then bar hopped to two more before calling it a night. B showed up with light-up flashing bracelets and a Mylar balloon for Bond. We were about blinded by the bracelets and at risk of epileptic seizures until B granted permission for him to shut them off.
One thing about going out with B is that it's like having a friend with amnesia, because she forgets so much shit when she's high and/or drunk. She'll repeat something she said/did previously and have not recollection. It's like Groundhog's Day.
I'm sure she has no recollection of kissing me and then pulling out my boob and sucking on it and licking me and telling me I have "the best boobs evah!" when we left the last bar. My vision is blurry and my eyes are bloodshot today.
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Six Month Celebration!
Golden and I are celebrating our six month anniversary tonight. We hit that milestone last weekend, but with the move and all we weren't able to pause and acknowledge it. I'm not much for celebrating milestones and sometimes that makes me sad when I look back. I'm grateful that these things are important to Golden, because it causes me to slow down and take stock and appreciate what I have.
Tonight we are skipping out on family dinner and going out to eat, then to an art exhibit, and finishing up at a fabulous chocolate shop in my favorite part of the city. Might warrant putting on some finery to stun the gentleman.
This morning I found this on my windshield:
It was a note from Golden. He has a pad that says, "Why I Must Have Sex With You" across the top and then there are all sorts of check boxes with various reasons from silly to serious. Things that got X's today were "Tonight", "Because I love you" (with the 'I love you' part underlined), "To keep warm", "You look like you need it", and "I'm addicted", "Please", signed Chocolate "Happy 6 months!" Sweet and corny.
Golden and I are celebrating our six month anniversary tonight. We hit that milestone last weekend, but with the move and all we weren't able to pause and acknowledge it. I'm not much for celebrating milestones and sometimes that makes me sad when I look back. I'm grateful that these things are important to Golden, because it causes me to slow down and take stock and appreciate what I have.
Tonight we are skipping out on family dinner and going out to eat, then to an art exhibit, and finishing up at a fabulous chocolate shop in my favorite part of the city. Might warrant putting on some finery to stun the gentleman.
This morning I found this on my windshield:
It was a note from Golden. He has a pad that says, "Why I Must Have Sex With You" across the top and then there are all sorts of check boxes with various reasons from silly to serious. Things that got X's today were "Tonight", "Because I love you" (with the 'I love you' part underlined), "To keep warm", "You look like you need it", and "I'm addicted", "Please", signed Chocolate "Happy 6 months!" Sweet and corny.
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B's cat, Stella, died today. She was having renal failure, so it's not that surprising, but it still stings. Facebook is plastered with lots of Stella photos today.
Update on M, taken from her Facebook post:
Poor girl. I wonder how much this has influenced her behavior in the past months when she didn't even realize all this was going on. She is so used to chronic pain that she tends to discount it.
Update on M, taken from her Facebook post:
Update as promised:
Double kidney infection. Septic. 4.6 mm cyst on my right kidney. Here for at least two more days. Need to take gallbladder out after the infection is under control. Might need two weeks of outpatient antibiotics via port. Mostly tired. A little pain.
Double kidney infection. Septic. 4.6 mm cyst on my right kidney. Here for at least two more days. Need to take gallbladder out after the infection is under control. Might need two weeks of outpatient antibiotics via port. Mostly tired. A little pain.
Poor girl. I wonder how much this has influenced her behavior in the past months when she didn't even realize all this was going on. She is so used to chronic pain that she tends to discount it.
Six month anniversary date with Golden was super nice. We saw an art display at the college which was small and kind of meh, but it was still so nice to actually see art and discuss it. I haven't had a lot of that since things ended with Twitch. For months before our relationship ended I wasn't able to be on my feet long enough to get through a museum, so it's been a long time.
Afterwards we went for dinner at a place that I really enjoy, but few of my friends have heard of. It's small with an almost diner atmosphere, because the seating is basically diner-style booths. The thing that elevates it that the chef is fantastic. I was totally all squeee when I saw they had a Ginger Rogers on their drink menu. I usually have to explain to the waitstaff what it is; it's a Moscow Mule with gin instead of vodka. We both ordered steaks. What a treat because we never have beef at home or when we are with Bond.
Golden spotted the renowned neuroscientist, Richard Davidson, at a table so that was kind of cool. No Dalai Lama present, though.
When we got home all the kids were still awake - at nearly 10 PM. Including Beanie whose bedtime is 8:30 pm. Golden quickly ushered her off to bed and I cuddled on the couch with Bond - while son #2 slowly ate his bedtime snack (read this as "he continued to watch TV while he ate his snack at a snail's pace.) I asked Bond how his night went and he said, "Not well." He really needs the back-up of other adults to do this parenting stuff right. He cannot stick to a routine or stick to what he's said, so it's no wonder we are always fighting the same battles with the kids over bedtime. Sigh. He was tired from the ridiculous hours he's been putting in and from the birthday celebrations and that adds to the unable to cope style of parenting he falls into.
Saturday Bond and I took his three sons and Beanie shopping for costumes. Son's #2 and #3 already gotten costumes last week, but they wanted to come along anyhow. This meant taking two vehicles. I groaned inside thinking, "Why does he happily allow all of them to come when it just adds to the chaos?!" I'm a shitty parent in that I like to divide and conquer for my own sanity.
Saturday night was Bond's work party. Our lives have been so busy leading up to this event that we didn't have time to put together costumes, so we decided to skip the costumes and just go. The party was fantastic and the costumes were amazing!
Sunday morning Bond and I took all four kids, plus Son #2's best friend, to the pumpkin patch. Two vehicles again. I got the little fries in my car and their conversation ranged from funny to annoying. I wish I could remember the funny thing that I told myself not to forget. End result, it was exhausting and I realized my mood was off and little things were annoying the fuck out of me. Patience = 0.
The hell of good news is that M came to Beatdown practice. I steered clear of her so as to not affect her serenity. She was too weak to be able to participate, but I bet it was nice for her to get out and see her peeps. She rode with Dale, so she didn't have to drive herself. I was celebrating that she came and that she didn't let me living in the house deter her like she had implied would be the case. I hope that I was the last thing on her mind. I think that would help a great deal in so many areas. Fingers crossed.
Seems I wasn't the only one with an off mood this weekend. Golden was sad Saturday and part of Sunday. We talked last night and he said it's divorce stuff and there isn't nothing he can do about it, just have to deal with the feels. I just had a eureka moment - I think my off mood and lack of patience can be attributed to not feeling in control or ahead of the game when it comes to home life with all the demands of such a busy household. I like having meals planned and things ready so that my mind can be at ease and capable of dealing with all the demands of four-five kids. I thought I'd be able to clean house on Saturday, but that didn't happen. We did grocery shop, so that was good. And we were able to get the costume situation for the kids under control. Those were all positive things and they outweigh the minuses like not getting the last of the boxes unpacked. Still need to take Golden's son shopping for a costume and a winter coat this week - maybe tonight?
Time for the Poly Nooner. Catch you later.
Afterwards we went for dinner at a place that I really enjoy, but few of my friends have heard of. It's small with an almost diner atmosphere, because the seating is basically diner-style booths. The thing that elevates it that the chef is fantastic. I was totally all squeee when I saw they had a Ginger Rogers on their drink menu. I usually have to explain to the waitstaff what it is; it's a Moscow Mule with gin instead of vodka. We both ordered steaks. What a treat because we never have beef at home or when we are with Bond.
Golden spotted the renowned neuroscientist, Richard Davidson, at a table so that was kind of cool. No Dalai Lama present, though.
When we got home all the kids were still awake - at nearly 10 PM. Including Beanie whose bedtime is 8:30 pm. Golden quickly ushered her off to bed and I cuddled on the couch with Bond - while son #2 slowly ate his bedtime snack (read this as "he continued to watch TV while he ate his snack at a snail's pace.) I asked Bond how his night went and he said, "Not well." He really needs the back-up of other adults to do this parenting stuff right. He cannot stick to a routine or stick to what he's said, so it's no wonder we are always fighting the same battles with the kids over bedtime. Sigh. He was tired from the ridiculous hours he's been putting in and from the birthday celebrations and that adds to the unable to cope style of parenting he falls into.
Saturday Bond and I took his three sons and Beanie shopping for costumes. Son's #2 and #3 already gotten costumes last week, but they wanted to come along anyhow. This meant taking two vehicles. I groaned inside thinking, "Why does he happily allow all of them to come when it just adds to the chaos?!" I'm a shitty parent in that I like to divide and conquer for my own sanity.
Saturday night was Bond's work party. Our lives have been so busy leading up to this event that we didn't have time to put together costumes, so we decided to skip the costumes and just go. The party was fantastic and the costumes were amazing!
Sunday morning Bond and I took all four kids, plus Son #2's best friend, to the pumpkin patch. Two vehicles again. I got the little fries in my car and their conversation ranged from funny to annoying. I wish I could remember the funny thing that I told myself not to forget.
End result, it was exhausting and I realized my mood was off and little things were annoying the fuck out of me. Patience = 0. The hell of good news is that M came to Beatdown practice. I steered clear of her so as to not affect her serenity. She was too weak to be able to participate, but I bet it was nice for her to get out and see her peeps. She rode with Dale, so she didn't have to drive herself. I was celebrating that she came and that she didn't let me living in the house deter her like she had implied would be the case. I hope that I was the last thing on her mind. I think that would help a great deal in so many areas. Fingers crossed.
Seems I wasn't the only one with an off mood this weekend. Golden was sad Saturday and part of Sunday. We talked last night and he said it's divorce stuff and there isn't nothing he can do about it, just have to deal with the feels. I just had a eureka moment - I think my off mood and lack of patience can be attributed to not feeling in control or ahead of the game when it comes to home life with all the demands of such a busy household. I like having meals planned and things ready so that my mind can be at ease and capable of dealing with all the demands of four-five kids. I thought I'd be able to clean house on Saturday, but that didn't happen. We did grocery shop, so that was good. And we were able to get the costume situation for the kids under control. Those were all positive things and they outweigh the minuses like not getting the last of the boxes unpacked. Still need to take Golden's son shopping for a costume and a winter coat this week - maybe tonight?
Time for the Poly Nooner. Catch you later.
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Golden and I had sexy times last night. It's kind of funny, because he was giving indications that he just wanted to skip the sex and go to sleep. After a few minutes of cuddling he laughed and said that his body had other ideas. I offered up that we could have a quickie and he said that he always feels guilty about quickies. I assured him that there is a time and place for quickies and that there is nothing to feel bad about. They can be fun!
Afterwards he laughed and said he should know by now that he's not capable of telling himself no to sex with me.
He went on to say how sex with me is like he always imagined sex should be, but didn't think was actually possible. That somehow, and it's nearly impossible to verbalize, it's like we have this energy that happens between us and it's like he leaves his body. I feel that, too. It's like we have this energy field of white light that bursts between us. It leaves me with a feeling that what we have between us in that moment is in a pure state. If I had an altar to worship at it would be Golden's body, because the closest to heaven I've ever felt is when we are making love.
Afterwards he laughed and said he should know by now that he's not capable of telling himself no to sex with me.
He went on to say how sex with me is like he always imagined sex should be, but didn't think was actually possible. That somehow, and it's nearly impossible to verbalize, it's like we have this energy that happens between us and it's like he leaves his body. I feel that, too. It's like we have this energy field of white light that bursts between us. It leaves me with a feeling that what we have between us in that moment is in a pure state. If I had an altar to worship at it would be Golden's body, because the closest to heaven I've ever felt is when we are making love.
A Party!
We are hosting a party the Saturday after Thanksgiving. B's birthday is on Thanksgiving so we'll be celebrating her birthday along with my moving in - although I didn't want to mention that it's my moving in party, because people will bring gifts and we certainly don't need gifts. If they want to bring booze that we can handle!
The Facebook Event
I had forgotten that B wanted to have boobies at the party until Bond brought it up. I believe she said she wanted to go topless. I will be surprised if she does, but hey, once she's drunk and high who knows. I'm sure she'll make sure mine are out for her viewing pleasure and I plan on making sure hers are also if that's the case. So that changes this party from the typical party I normally throw into one the guys tend to throw. Hello new life. LOL
Invites sent at 10:00 pm last night.
Fifty-eight people invited. Tally so far: 9 Going. 12 Maybes. 3 Can't.
Twenty-four to twelve hours before is when the count starts getting real.
We are hosting a party the Saturday after Thanksgiving. B's birthday is on Thanksgiving so we'll be celebrating her birthday along with my moving in - although I didn't want to mention that it's my moving in party, because people will bring gifts and we certainly don't need gifts. If they want to bring booze that we can handle!
The Facebook Event
Post-Thanksgiving Party With Your Friends
Whoohoo! You survived Thanksgiving and Black Friday! You obviously have resilience and deserve a night with friends, adult beverages, and yummy food.
We'll also be celebrating B's birthday. This is an extra special edition birthday as it is her first 39th birthday ever!
This party is going to be on the adulty end of the spectrum. There will be boobies and body paint, and mats for grappling.
Please feel free to bring your partner(s). We are not making this event public, considering its nature, but we always wish for you to feel free to bring your important people.
******* It's potluck and BYOB. ********
Whoohoo! You survived Thanksgiving and Black Friday! You obviously have resilience and deserve a night with friends, adult beverages, and yummy food.
We'll also be celebrating B's birthday. This is an extra special edition birthday as it is her first 39th birthday ever!
This party is going to be on the adulty end of the spectrum. There will be boobies and body paint, and mats for grappling.
Please feel free to bring your partner(s). We are not making this event public, considering its nature, but we always wish for you to feel free to bring your important people.
******* It's potluck and BYOB. ********
I had forgotten that B wanted to have boobies at the party until Bond brought it up. I believe she said she wanted to go topless. I will be surprised if she does, but hey, once she's drunk and high who knows. I'm sure she'll make sure mine are out for her viewing pleasure and I plan on making sure hers are also if that's the case. So that changes this party from the typical party I normally throw into one the guys tend to throw. Hello new life. LOL
Invites sent at 10:00 pm last night.
Fifty-eight people invited. Tally so far: 9 Going. 12 Maybes. 3 Can't.
Twenty-four to twelve hours before is when the count starts getting real.
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Two things to mention about the party.
1.) Bond told me this morning that M was really pleased to be invited. At first she didn't think she could make it, but then she told him that it may be possible for her to get someone to cover for her because she's working Thanksgiving. He seemed very happy and it sounded like she felt good about it, too. Yay!
2.) Before we could do any planning we needed to see if Bond could arrange for his kids to be at their mother's that night. When he delivered the kids to her house last night he struck up a conversation about Thanksgiving and how they were going to handle that and asked if she could take them on that Saturday. She was accommodating. She even asked him if that meant he was going to have an adult party. I was really surprised and pleased that he took the initiative to talk to her. Yay, Bond!
1.) Bond told me this morning that M was really pleased to be invited. At first she didn't think she could make it, but then she told him that it may be possible for her to get someone to cover for her because she's working Thanksgiving. He seemed very happy and it sounded like she felt good about it, too. Yay!
2.) Before we could do any planning we needed to see if Bond could arrange for his kids to be at their mother's that night. When he delivered the kids to her house last night he struck up a conversation about Thanksgiving and how they were going to handle that and asked if she could take them on that Saturday. She was accommodating. She even asked him if that meant he was going to have an adult party.
I was really surprised and pleased that he took the initiative to talk to her. Yay, Bond!
Feeling a bit of awe
Ah, forgot to post this...you know your boyfriend is a flippin' smarty pants when at a company party (a company that employs the cream of the crop in their field) three individuals tell their dates he's incredibly smart as they are introducing him. Mega-smart-nerds paying homage. Whoa.
And bless him, he's very modest about it.
I won't stand a chance in a debate.
Ah, forgot to post this...you know your boyfriend is a flippin' smarty pants when at a company party (a company that employs the cream of the crop in their field) three individuals tell their dates he's incredibly smart as they are introducing him. Mega-smart-nerds paying homage. Whoa.
And bless him, he's very modest about it.
I won't stand a chance in a debate.