Sneaking Behind My Back.....pissed off

[SchrodingersCat]

I am sure they locked the door so no kids would walk in and find them.

"I am sure" they did not. The OP herself walked in on them. That could easily have been one of her kids. By the description, it sounds like the door was not, in fact, locked.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU, BUT YOU REFUSED THE OFFER! You can't cry about not getting any after you turned him down! You want it both ways.

I don't get the impression, at all, that the OP is upset because she was missing out on the action and wants it both ways. She wants it one way: That her spouse and father to her children carries his share of the responsibility throughout the entire process of hosting their twins' birthday party, which means the planning through to the clean-up. The fact that he was willing to remove not only himself, but the other parent, while the guests were still there, is irresponsible. When her kids are having a birthday party, she doesn't want her husband upstairs fucking, not with herself and not with his girlfriend.

 

[Mahogany]

"I am sure" they did not. The OP herself walked in on them. That could easily have been one of her kids. By the description, it sounds like the door was not. in fact locked.
I don't get the impression, at all, that the OP is upset because she was missing out on the action and wants it both ways. She wants it one way: That her spouse and father to her children carries his share of the responsibility throughout the entire process of hosting their twins' birthday party, which means the planning through to the clean-up. The fact that he was willing to remove not only himself, but the other parent, while the guests were still there, is irresponsible. When her kids are having a birthday party, she doesn't want her husband upstairs fucking, not with herself and not with his girlfriend.

Exactly! Is that too much to ask? They have a very sexually-active relationship, which I have no problem with. When they get together is not up to me. I don't control that. But, as a party we are hosting at our home is ending is not their "time."

Someone asked how long they were gone. I couldn't say... probably 15 to 20 minutes. I was busy, so time escaped me. I know it wasn't an hour.

 

[Dagferi]

"I am sure" they did not. The OP herself walked in on them. That could easily have been one of her kids. By the description, it sounds like the door was not, in fact, locked.
I don't get the impression that the OP is upset because she was missing out on the action and wants it both ways. She wants it one way: That her spouse and father to her children carries his share of the responsibility throughout the entire process of hosting their twins' birthday party, which means planning through to clean-up. The fact that he was willing to remove not only himself, but the other parent, while the guests were still there, is irresponsible. When her kids are having a birthday party, she doesn't want her husband upstairs fucking, not with herself and not with his girlfriend.

I agree.

Two weeks ago it was my niece and nephew's 3rd birthday. Murf and I could have snuck away and had some fun after the party was basically over. The kids were outside playing (my two and the twins). Family was busy with clean up. But guess what? That was not the time nor the place. It was about the kids, not me having sexy time. Trust me, I am always up for sexy time.

 

[Kernow]

I think it really depends on your situation. I have assumed from what you've written that the birthday party was for your children (yours and Bo's), that it took place at your home, and that Bo's girlfriend had been invited to the party, but does not live with you. I also understood from your post that sometimes when Bo's girlfriend visits, the three of you share intimate moments, but until now, Bo has not gone off to enjoy a sexual encounter with his girlfriend while the three of you are at your home together.

If this is the case, I think Bo was wrong on several levels. He is equally responsible for his children; this had been a family occasion; and the calm after the chaos of the party is a special time. Yes, there is cleaning up to do, but usually it is a time when the children want to talk about the party, to look at some of their birthday presents, and generally to enjoy their special day. Family time should have come first, and Bo's desire for a quick thrill (however brief) should have waited.

I'm assuming that it is your home which you share with Bo and your children, but not with his girlfriend. If so, Bo should have realised that even if you are accepting of him having a sexual relationship with his girlfriend, and even if the three of you are close, and sometimes involved sexually, it would need a specific agreement for him to bring his girlfriend to your family home and have a sexual encounter with her. Maybe you already had an agreement about that sort of thing, but if not, he should have been more respectful of your feelings.

Making poly relationships work always involves compromise, but if you are not comfortable for this sort of thing happening in your home, say so. Bo should respect that. It is not just about you, it is about your family, too.

 

[Mahogany]

Kernow,

Yes, you have assumed right. It was at the home I share with Bo. The birthday party was for our twins. I invited his girlfriend. She lives in her own home.

 

[LovingRadiance]

Yes. A healthy partner would know not to sneak around to get the result he wanted (LR, I can see now why you'd call this cheating. It wasn't sexual infidelity, because he has the right, per the rules of the relationship, to have sex with her. It was sneaking and in direct contradiction to the discussed expectations though.). He shouldn't have to be told that acting in a way that flies in the face of her relationship concerns hoping not to get caught is flat wrong.

I absolutely agree, not sexual infidelity.