Aloha everyone I have been 'lurking' on here a while, commented on a few threads but thought I would formally introduce myself.
I am Valerie 41 female. I am very outgoing, loud, flirtatious, loving and caring. I was always an equal opportunity 'dater' both sexes all races.
'A-mag', my husband of 16 yrs is highly intelligent, quiet, reads a lot, listens to pod casts and is into planes. We love anything outdoors, beach, travel.
We have 3 daughters: Mountain 14, Mermaid 8 & Flower 2.
In my opinion we have always had the 'picture perfect' marriage. Never had a 'big' fight, rarely argue, always have awesome sex, not jealous, don't have money issues.
In August of 2016 I quit my job which was killing me. We decided it was best for family to stay home and enjoy the Hawaii lifestyle, travel and raise kids. This was a difficult choice for me as I was raised on a farm and have worked since I was 14. Staying at home is the hardest job I've EVER had!
Shortly after quitting my job one of my 'old' customers called and said we should hang out since I had time now. She, we'll call her Glorious, has a daughter 15yrs old, we'll call her Destined. I invited them to come hang and go to beach.
Her background...she has 8 siblings they were all removed from home and bounced around in the foster system until she was 18 then just 'dismissed'. She met a man almost 15yrs older than her who had 7 kids himself, no relationship with any of those kids or their Moms he was very controlling and abusive. He was her first and only sexual relationship. She realized in 2014 he was not going to change and suspected drugs were involved. She walked away and moved into her brothers place.
Glorious & Destined, came over almost every weekend. We have a big house in the country and they would just stay the whole weekend. We all spent time together doing family stuff: worked around house, farmers market, volunteered, spent holidays together etc.
Over time her and A-mag created a solid friendship and her and I connected the very first time we met...almost like we knew each other before. My kids adore her and we all just fit together/meshed really well.
Things carried out as 'normal'. She had made a few comments or innuendoes about having a threesome, but I totally blew them off. She also mentioned she thought she always liked girls but was too shy. A-mag asked me a few times if I thought Glorious wanted a threesome and I explained to him it was too risky that having a really solid, trusting relationship with her as a friend was too much to jeopardize for us to 'try out a threesome'. I told him if he wanted a threesome we needed it to be with s/o we did not know and just sex. I did NOT want to loose her as a friend or 'family member'.
She had many discussions with all of us that she thought the reason the 'universe brought us together' was to show her how a family can be loving, functional and caring. Being raised in the system and with an abusive baby's Daddy she had never seen this.
On 1/1/17 we had all been at the beach all day and Mermaid asked if we could just sleep/camp overnight. A-Mag went home with other 2 kids. That night after Mermaid fell asleep and a few drinks with the moon setting over the ocean Glorious and I decided to go to sleep. I am not sure what 'moved me inside' but after about 30 minutes of thinking about it I said 'I really want to kiss you'. So we made out nothing major. Next morning A-Mag brought us breakfast, helped us pack up and we went home and carried on with a normal day. I told him the first chance I got, within an hour of being home. His reply was 'I figured'! Lol
Throughout the next week Glorious was freaking out thinking she was a marriage wrecker and that she shouldn't come around anymore. Axel & I both talked a lot with her over the phone during the week so she felt assured we weren't getting a divorce over what happen and everything was all good, we would just figure it out.
She had never even kissed a female before, but said she liked it and wanted to 'finish what we started' to see how it was. So we agreed that the following weekend, her & I would be intimate but A-Mag could just watch that she was not interested in him that he was 'totally not her type'.
Next weekend comes along ALL the kids were with us. So, bedtime comes A-Mag stays downstairs putting all kids to sleep. Glorious and I say we're going to watch a movie in our room. We of course have waited all week and talked immensely about this amongst the 3 of us so things got pretty hot very fast. Of course A-Mag comes in tries to just sit in the chair and watch, but let's face it he got involved. Everyone was nervous and didn't want to make anyone feel jealous or left out.
We spoke on phone all week, all of us, and agreed everyone was ok, and since she could only stay Saturday nights (b/c she was working ALL the time) we would just all sleep together on the weekends and go with the flow.
Everything continued progressing well. We looked more and more anxiously for the weekends to come. We all missed her when she wasn't here. Of course sex with 3 people is exhausting but it's awesome connecting with the people you love intimately too. A-Mag 'got' compersion from the VERY beginning. He would take the kids out to do fun stuff and Glorious & I would have time alone to play, lay in each other's arms and take naps. I had not gotten to that point yet and I sensed they knew that and were going as slow as the slowest person, which was me. We talked A LOT!
In April I had the opportunity to take Mermaid & Flower (my 2 year old) to Katmandu, Nepal (8,500 miles away) and climb to Everest Base Camp with some good friends. While thinking about the trip, my insecurities arose and for a short time the thought of A-Mag & Glorious being together without me became an issue. We ALL talked a lot about it. Glorious said she understood and just wouldn't come around on those weekends. I did more searching and thought this wasn't fair to either of them....would A-Mag feel like he's less than me, that she's only sexual with him b/c of me, and what about the friendship and relationship that we had grown? And would the kids (the older ones could not miss school for a month) think that we were not all 3 in a relationship, just her & I if she didn't come around without me being there. So, each weekend I was gone they spent it together with Mountain & Destined and sexually. There was a 15hr 45min time difference and I was so busy traveling (I took my 60yr old Mom too), whenever I thought of them I just smiled. When we talked they both said it wasn't the same without me but was getting easier. A-Mag is the second man Glorious has been with and he didn't have many partners before me. We all understood why it felt that way.
On 5/21, the brother whom Glorious lived with told her they had to be out of their apartment on 6/1. Destined had already decided to move back to Waikiki to go to the school she had always been to when her mom & dad were together to finish high school with her friends so that move was already planned to happen end of May.
We had an extra bedroom and told Glorious she could move in with us. We also thought it was a good time for transition b/c Mountain was going to spend the whole summer in Iceland with family. She has always been the most difficult child and even though she came out as gay on 1/17, she was/is still processing 'all of this' which is totally understandable....we ALL are.
So, beginning of June Glorious had vacation planned to see her sister in San Francisco for 2 weeks. Since Mountain is 14 and not able to fly 'unaccompanied', they both flew to Cali spent 2 days together then Mountain went on to Iceland alone. Glorious came back got all her stuff settled in and we fell quickly into the routine of living together. She has her own room for personal space too which I find very important. A-Mag works nights Tuesday to Friday, so her & I sleep together alone (with Flower) and Sat, Sun & Monday we all 3 sleep together, we traded up to a king sized mattress. I usually sleep in the middle and the amount of cuddles and love is unexplainable. There has been a few times I am able to take small kids out in morning and let A-Mag & Glorious have their alone time too.
So, here we are in September and things have grown together pleasantly. It has NOT been perfect. There have been struggles but with the struggle there is growth through communication. We are all trying to live in the 'now' and surf the wave we have chosen without getting salty.
I find myself scratching my head in wonder of how did I attract so much love and get so lucky. I also realize people, relationships, love and really EVERYTHING changes (I am a true Gemini and love change). A-Mag & Glorious are more analytical and calculated and like some normalcy though.
I have read most of the books recommended on here and most 'triad' threads. I understand how it usually does not work in the long run and I believe we are all in shock that we are still happy together and growing everyday. I feel like our relationship-starting from the soil and roots and being genuinely 'organically' grown may be the best asset we have but we know it could all end OR last forever. We check in with each other independently and as a group to make sure everyone is 'happy and loved' as this is our only long term goal. We feel it's better to have loved in life than live a life without loving/being loved and living a life in fear is NOT living.
IN CONCLUSION......FINALLY.... here is my introduction! I highly enjoy reading on this forum as it has helped me immensely. Sometimes reading on here is the only 'alone or sane time' I have! I look forward to continuing to grow and learn from all of you.
I am Valerie 41 female. I am very outgoing, loud, flirtatious, loving and caring. I was always an equal opportunity 'dater' both sexes all races.
'A-mag', my husband of 16 yrs is highly intelligent, quiet, reads a lot, listens to pod casts and is into planes. We love anything outdoors, beach, travel.
We have 3 daughters: Mountain 14, Mermaid 8 & Flower 2.
In my opinion we have always had the 'picture perfect' marriage. Never had a 'big' fight, rarely argue, always have awesome sex, not jealous, don't have money issues.
In August of 2016 I quit my job which was killing me. We decided it was best for family to stay home and enjoy the Hawaii lifestyle, travel and raise kids. This was a difficult choice for me as I was raised on a farm and have worked since I was 14. Staying at home is the hardest job I've EVER had!
Shortly after quitting my job one of my 'old' customers called and said we should hang out since I had time now. She, we'll call her Glorious, has a daughter 15yrs old, we'll call her Destined. I invited them to come hang and go to beach.
Her background...she has 8 siblings they were all removed from home and bounced around in the foster system until she was 18 then just 'dismissed'. She met a man almost 15yrs older than her who had 7 kids himself, no relationship with any of those kids or their Moms he was very controlling and abusive. He was her first and only sexual relationship. She realized in 2014 he was not going to change and suspected drugs were involved. She walked away and moved into her brothers place.
Glorious & Destined, came over almost every weekend. We have a big house in the country and they would just stay the whole weekend. We all spent time together doing family stuff: worked around house, farmers market, volunteered, spent holidays together etc.
Over time her and A-mag created a solid friendship and her and I connected the very first time we met...almost like we knew each other before. My kids adore her and we all just fit together/meshed really well.
Things carried out as 'normal'. She had made a few comments or innuendoes about having a threesome, but I totally blew them off. She also mentioned she thought she always liked girls but was too shy. A-mag asked me a few times if I thought Glorious wanted a threesome and I explained to him it was too risky that having a really solid, trusting relationship with her as a friend was too much to jeopardize for us to 'try out a threesome'. I told him if he wanted a threesome we needed it to be with s/o we did not know and just sex. I did NOT want to loose her as a friend or 'family member'.
She had many discussions with all of us that she thought the reason the 'universe brought us together' was to show her how a family can be loving, functional and caring. Being raised in the system and with an abusive baby's Daddy she had never seen this.
On 1/1/17 we had all been at the beach all day and Mermaid asked if we could just sleep/camp overnight. A-Mag went home with other 2 kids. That night after Mermaid fell asleep and a few drinks with the moon setting over the ocean Glorious and I decided to go to sleep. I am not sure what 'moved me inside' but after about 30 minutes of thinking about it I said 'I really want to kiss you'. So we made out nothing major. Next morning A-Mag brought us breakfast, helped us pack up and we went home and carried on with a normal day. I told him the first chance I got, within an hour of being home. His reply was 'I figured'! Lol
Throughout the next week Glorious was freaking out thinking she was a marriage wrecker and that she shouldn't come around anymore. Axel & I both talked a lot with her over the phone during the week so she felt assured we weren't getting a divorce over what happen and everything was all good, we would just figure it out.
She had never even kissed a female before, but said she liked it and wanted to 'finish what we started' to see how it was. So we agreed that the following weekend, her & I would be intimate but A-Mag could just watch that she was not interested in him that he was 'totally not her type'.
Next weekend comes along ALL the kids were with us. So, bedtime comes A-Mag stays downstairs putting all kids to sleep. Glorious and I say we're going to watch a movie in our room. We of course have waited all week and talked immensely about this amongst the 3 of us so things got pretty hot very fast. Of course A-Mag comes in tries to just sit in the chair and watch, but let's face it he got involved. Everyone was nervous and didn't want to make anyone feel jealous or left out.
We spoke on phone all week, all of us, and agreed everyone was ok, and since she could only stay Saturday nights (b/c she was working ALL the time) we would just all sleep together on the weekends and go with the flow.
Everything continued progressing well. We looked more and more anxiously for the weekends to come. We all missed her when she wasn't here. Of course sex with 3 people is exhausting but it's awesome connecting with the people you love intimately too. A-Mag 'got' compersion from the VERY beginning. He would take the kids out to do fun stuff and Glorious & I would have time alone to play, lay in each other's arms and take naps. I had not gotten to that point yet and I sensed they knew that and were going as slow as the slowest person, which was me. We talked A LOT!
In April I had the opportunity to take Mermaid & Flower (my 2 year old) to Katmandu, Nepal (8,500 miles away) and climb to Everest Base Camp with some good friends. While thinking about the trip, my insecurities arose and for a short time the thought of A-Mag & Glorious being together without me became an issue. We ALL talked a lot about it. Glorious said she understood and just wouldn't come around on those weekends. I did more searching and thought this wasn't fair to either of them....would A-Mag feel like he's less than me, that she's only sexual with him b/c of me, and what about the friendship and relationship that we had grown? And would the kids (the older ones could not miss school for a month) think that we were not all 3 in a relationship, just her & I if she didn't come around without me being there. So, each weekend I was gone they spent it together with Mountain & Destined and sexually. There was a 15hr 45min time difference and I was so busy traveling (I took my 60yr old Mom too), whenever I thought of them I just smiled. When we talked they both said it wasn't the same without me but was getting easier. A-Mag is the second man Glorious has been with and he didn't have many partners before me. We all understood why it felt that way.
On 5/21, the brother whom Glorious lived with told her they had to be out of their apartment on 6/1. Destined had already decided to move back to Waikiki to go to the school she had always been to when her mom & dad were together to finish high school with her friends so that move was already planned to happen end of May.
We had an extra bedroom and told Glorious she could move in with us. We also thought it was a good time for transition b/c Mountain was going to spend the whole summer in Iceland with family. She has always been the most difficult child and even though she came out as gay on 1/17, she was/is still processing 'all of this' which is totally understandable....we ALL are.
So, beginning of June Glorious had vacation planned to see her sister in San Francisco for 2 weeks. Since Mountain is 14 and not able to fly 'unaccompanied', they both flew to Cali spent 2 days together then Mountain went on to Iceland alone. Glorious came back got all her stuff settled in and we fell quickly into the routine of living together. She has her own room for personal space too which I find very important. A-Mag works nights Tuesday to Friday, so her & I sleep together alone (with Flower) and Sat, Sun & Monday we all 3 sleep together, we traded up to a king sized mattress. I usually sleep in the middle and the amount of cuddles and love is unexplainable. There has been a few times I am able to take small kids out in morning and let A-Mag & Glorious have their alone time too.
So, here we are in September and things have grown together pleasantly. It has NOT been perfect. There have been struggles but with the struggle there is growth through communication. We are all trying to live in the 'now' and surf the wave we have chosen without getting salty.
I find myself scratching my head in wonder of how did I attract so much love and get so lucky. I also realize people, relationships, love and really EVERYTHING changes (I am a true Gemini and love change). A-Mag & Glorious are more analytical and calculated and like some normalcy though.
I have read most of the books recommended on here and most 'triad' threads. I understand how it usually does not work in the long run and I believe we are all in shock that we are still happy together and growing everyday. I feel like our relationship-starting from the soil and roots and being genuinely 'organically' grown may be the best asset we have but we know it could all end OR last forever. We check in with each other independently and as a group to make sure everyone is 'happy and loved' as this is our only long term goal. We feel it's better to have loved in life than live a life without loving/being loved and living a life in fear is NOT living.
IN CONCLUSION......FINALLY.... here is my introduction! I highly enjoy reading on this forum as it has helped me immensely. Sometimes reading on here is the only 'alone or sane time' I have! I look forward to continuing to grow and learn from all of you.
