So glad I found this page!

S

suzyq

New member
hi all, this is my first post, I am so glad I found this forum.I'm a 29 year old woman with 2 kids and 1 stepkid, I've been divorced for 8 years now. I've been involved in a triad relationship for about a month now with my fiance of 6 years and my best friend. I've had feelings for her for quite some time and it has quickly evolved into an amazing relationship between the three of us. My family doesnt know, my friends don't know, my kids don't know and it kills me to keep a secret, like its something I should be ashamed of, but I'm not and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I've abandoned social norms so I can live the life I want to live. I know its early on, and I'm scared to death of what the future holds. I love them both so so much. I did a lot of research on these relationships before things got physical, but I'm filled with emotion and having a hard time not worrying about what could go wrong. I suffer from depression and anxiety (which is currently well controlled on meds) and my brain is my own worst enemy at times. I'm totally rambling..... I do that a lot. I have so much running thru my head lately. I'm on cloud 9, I'm scared, and i've never had these kinds of feelings before. well anyhow... I'm looking forward to reading more on this forum and getting to know people like me. Thank you for taking the time to read, any advice is appreciated.

SUZYq
 
Greetings suzyq,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you're experiencing some NRE. NRE can be both scary and giddy. Continue reading about poly and learning as much as you can. This site has many useful threads, a lot of them are in Poly Relationships Corner. I also recommend that you read Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness. Any questions you have, post and let us know.

An MFF triad is like the Holy Grail for many poly newcomers. You have a fortunate advantage in that your triad came together organically, you didn't have to make it happen. I hope we can help you make it a happy, lasting triad. If you ever need to ping me, just post on this thread. Occasionally I'm away from my computer for as long as a week, but most of the time I'm here.

Glad to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thank you for the warm welcome. I have always been attracted to women but never experienced anything more than a kiss. This NRE is a crazy feeling. I'm absorbing all the knowledge I can. She is a wonderful person but she has also had a rough life and can be a strong personality to be around. But she's always real with me and I love that. My fiance and I discussed what we wanted out of this before anything happened. Set our boundaries and communicated about everything. We are all very open with each other however when my girlfriend has certain feelings arise it can be hard to get her to open up. Any tips on working thru something like that? We do have intimate times all together and separately and she spends the night sometimes. I feel like ive finally found myself but its so terrifying because I never in a million years thought this is what I wanted in life. Shoot a few months ago I never even knew anything about poly or triads.
 
Re:
"We are all very open with each other however when my girlfriend has certain feelings arise it can be hard to get her to open up. Any tips on working thru something like that?"
Click to expand...

In my experience, when someone doesn't want to talk the best first move is usually to back away and give them some room. Maybe several hours later or the next day they can be approached again, it depends on their personality and other details.

Communication is important in poly, but you also have to have patience.
 
kdt26417 said:
Re:


In my experience, when someone doesn't want to talk the best first move is usually to back away and give them some room. Maybe several hours later or the next day they can be approached again, it depends on their personality and other details.

Communication is important in poly, but you also have to have patience.
Click to expand...

Patience YES. So important.

Just be very wary of her sensitive emotions right now. People can tend to jump to conclusions when emotions get high. Just know that right now all you have is time. Your attentive respect of her confusion will only help make your relationship with her stronger. Just try not to freak out with expectations. I would say that is the biggest danger here. Heavy NREs can make you do that. Just try to keep your own thoughts in check is probably the best advice here.
 
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