Some general Poly questions...

B

Berlik

New member
2 of the guys I'm in a relationship with are considering beginning a relatiosnhip with another guy. I have no issue with this! I think it's great and they all have a lot to bring to each others lives!!

But it brings out some questions concerning poly and relationships in general. My guys will naturally want alone time or their own time anyway with this new guy. So how do I know when I'm being a 3rd wheel? I don't want to butt in when I'm not wanted but how will I know?

I know the new guy is into me and that's a relief, but how do I communicate if I'm feeling left out? And how do I know when I'm being selfish with their time? Mainly it kind of leaves me scared that I'll be pushed aside eventually (but I know that's just insecurity, our bonds are strong).

Maybe a lot of this is just insecurity and over-thinking, if so, feel free to give me the smack down. But I can't think I'm alone in these questions. Others must have asked all this before...
 
Hi Berlik,

I guess my advice is to communicate often with both of your guys, as well as with the new guy. Find out how each of them feels about the time you spend with them. So far, you seem to have a really good attitude and that can take you a long way.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
We've started some communication on the subject. And really all is going well.

I truly want my guys to be happy, it's just my own insecurities that make me worry about my place. Which I always find is silly!!

I think I just needed to write out what was bothering me!

Thanks!
 
No we are all good to form other relationships. My relief that he has interest is basically for my own insecurities. I'm definitely into him, and knowing that it's mutual, and his interest isn't only for my two boyfriends makes me feel like I can be a part in some way of whatever they form together.

It's probably bad to indulge that insecurity, but it was nice to know none the less.
 
Sounds like things are going well. :)
 
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