Sorry, dude.

bookbug said:
However, if someone comes unglued at me, when I have simply made a mistake, or had no warning, and didn't realize something was even an issue, then I consider that behavior to be rude, disrespectful, and childish. If it was a common occurrence, then I would take my leave.
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I agree. For me, that kind of interaction is not welcome in my life for very long. While I agree with Natja that the situation described by the OP isn't abuse, I also think it sounds pretty rude. I get things wrong all the time. I don't need to be associated with someone who is going to lay into me for a good long time when I do.

It sounds like Natja and TRBG are a bit more flexible in that regard. It's all about the temperament and personalities of the people involved. If it works, it works.
 
TRBG said:
No, my mistake. I need to work on my clarity. We're good.
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I'm still confused, who were you responding to?

(that edit was for Natja. I initially mentioned that he had quoted me but had, in fact, not)
 
Marcus said:
It sounds like Natja and TRBG are a bit more flexible in that regard. It's all about the temperament and personalities of the people involved - if it works, it works.
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Also in total fairness to her, "a good stretch" in this case was maybe a minute, if that. I might have oversold it for a story that I apparently felt was much funnier than a lot of folks on the board did.
 
TRBG said:
That was towards your post directly before mine.
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Seems like I ruffled some feathers. That really wasn't my intention. I just thought we were having a discussion.
 
I do get triggered by people raising their voices at me. It feels like a physical attack. Maybe because my mom was sweet and gentle, though firm, whereas my dad would get unreasonable and yell and his whole head would get red and veins would stand out on his temples and neck!! Very scary for a kid.

At least he never spanked me. I once had a bf who shook me in an argument and I immediately broke up with him.

I try to never yell at people when hurt or angry, and I appreciate partners who are similar. I also hate sarcasm, and hate when I accidentally use it without thinking, in a heated discussion. I also abhor name-calling, "fuck you," and "you asshole," and so on. It never helps. It always escalates the yuck.
 
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