A man contacted me on OKC. He seemed interesting. He said he and his wife "often date together." She was too young to show up in my matches, so I never read her profile, but did see a pic of her in his profile. I told him I thought his wife was very pretty.
First thing I did was ask him what would happen if I met them both and was only interested in one of 'em, and he said they'd talked about that before and thought it would be fine. But he also said his wife is still working (he's retired) and she seemed less interested in women lately, more into men.
He and I chatted a bit, we seemed reasonably compatible, so I agreed to meet both him and his wife at a restaurant. By evening's end, I knew I wasn't attracted to hubby. He was physically meh and his libertarian views clashed with my socialist ones.The wife on the other hand, I liked. She was mature for her age, we shared some interests, and I found her quite attractive.
After dinner, one of them set the 3 of us in a facebook "group" conversation. The wife invited me out on their sailboat to have dinner with them. Perhaps at that point I should have made myself clear, but I kind of wanted to just get to know them more. The guy is, after all, smart and accomplished.
Unfortunately, I am just not a sapiosexual.
A couple times while on the boat, the husband tried to put his hand on my knee or touch my back, I just sort of gently pulled away. I spent a lot of time making conversation with the wife. I learned she'd been with a male-female couple for years before meeting her hubby, and I believe she said she had a long term lesbian relationship once too. She and I did not make moves physically towards each other, so I cannot assume she's even interested in me.
It all began to feel awkward, so I didn't stay overly long after dinner. I told them I'd made late plans with a friend, and the husband took me back ashore on a dingy, I gave just a peck on the cheek for goodnight.
The next day, I messaged them a thank you for dinner, and only wife replied with niceties.
So what the heck is the protocol here? I don't even think I need to say to the husband, privately, "Great to meet you, but I don't feel a spark." I'm pretty sure he got the gist of that when I avoided his touch physically and left early.
Would it be out of line for me, then, to contact the wife, privately "Nice to meet you, if you want to hang with me alone, I'm game, but I'm not interested in a threesome with your husband?" Or is that too cowgirly?
First thing I did was ask him what would happen if I met them both and was only interested in one of 'em, and he said they'd talked about that before and thought it would be fine. But he also said his wife is still working (he's retired) and she seemed less interested in women lately, more into men.
He and I chatted a bit, we seemed reasonably compatible, so I agreed to meet both him and his wife at a restaurant. By evening's end, I knew I wasn't attracted to hubby. He was physically meh and his libertarian views clashed with my socialist ones.The wife on the other hand, I liked. She was mature for her age, we shared some interests, and I found her quite attractive.
After dinner, one of them set the 3 of us in a facebook "group" conversation. The wife invited me out on their sailboat to have dinner with them. Perhaps at that point I should have made myself clear, but I kind of wanted to just get to know them more. The guy is, after all, smart and accomplished.
Unfortunately, I am just not a sapiosexual.
A couple times while on the boat, the husband tried to put his hand on my knee or touch my back, I just sort of gently pulled away. I spent a lot of time making conversation with the wife. I learned she'd been with a male-female couple for years before meeting her hubby, and I believe she said she had a long term lesbian relationship once too. She and I did not make moves physically towards each other, so I cannot assume she's even interested in me.
It all began to feel awkward, so I didn't stay overly long after dinner. I told them I'd made late plans with a friend, and the husband took me back ashore on a dingy, I gave just a peck on the cheek for goodnight.
The next day, I messaged them a thank you for dinner, and only wife replied with niceties.
So what the heck is the protocol here? I don't even think I need to say to the husband, privately, "Great to meet you, but I don't feel a spark." I'm pretty sure he got the gist of that when I avoided his touch physically and left early.
Would it be out of line for me, then, to contact the wife, privately "Nice to meet you, if you want to hang with me alone, I'm game, but I'm not interested in a threesome with your husband?" Or is that too cowgirly?
