Struggling with monogamy

Re (from whynot):

Well if you're happy, I'm happy. :)

So what's the plan, Stan? Is erotic fiction (a good thing to write I might add) a substitute for poly, or a prelude to poly in your life? If you're satisfied with it as a substitute that's fine by me; I was just curious.

There's nothing wrong with writing erotica along the way for stress management. Just saying it could go ALONG WITH taking some direct approaches to solve your need to feel connected with poly world to overcome the isolation.



I don't think writing erotica fiction would do as a full substitute for my desires but I won't know until I try :) Whether it will function as a partial substitute, a prelude or maybe some people will find joy in it - it's all good. This is something which resonates with me at this moment.

To me honest, what you are writing sounds very arrogant to me - as if Poly relationships were morally superior to mono relationships, ... which they aren't.

Yes I used to be very arrogant about my opinions on this subject matter. I have since tried to be more tolerant and less demeaning and I hope I have been succeeding at that but maybe the way I write still sounds arrogant to some - I am sorry.

I don't understand why some poly-minded people push SO hard until they get what they want, no matter how your partner is feeling. Honestly, there are plenty of like-minded people that would happily pursue a poly relationship with you.

well..."plenty of like-minded people"...maybe on here but sadly I have yet to meet a single kindred spirit outside of the online world.

I am not trying to force my girlfriend into anything (anymore). I have given that up a long time ago, seeing that it only breeds resentment and trouble. And if it was perfectly clear, that she won't ever be into poly I would have broken up with her a long time ago. But this isn't the case here - she has expressed the desire to experiment, if only she could get over the fear.

This has hit a dead-end of sorts. I am not sure what to write anymore and the advice I receive keeps repeating itself. I am not willing to break up with her at this time. I feel there is a way forward and I want to walk it with integrity and in honesty and see where that leads us.

I will update this thread should something interesting happen or if some more questions pop up. Meanwhile I'll get down to browsing this forum a bit and hopefully give back to the community because the couple of replies I've gotten here have helped me out a lot! :)
Cool beans ... Let us know of any significant developments.