polybynature
New member
its nice if you can get it
Ive scoped out single guys, but they seem to want more than I can give. Then again, I was also already in love with a man with a wife. sigh.
Taking it to the next level
- Thread starter PolyinPractice
- Start date
its nice if you can get it
Ive scoped out single guys, but they seem to want more than I can give. Then again, I was also already in love with a man with a wife. sigh.Inyourendo
New member
Thankfully sam has taken a chance on me and I've made him feel that he is every bit a co primary. I only spend about 40 hours a week with him (2 overnights) but I also call and text him hes satisfied with that
IndieSolo
Active member
Considering that less than 10 different people responded out of a forum with thousands of members, many of whom are lurkers who rarely or never post, the whole of which is yet but a sliver of how many poly people there are in the world, I certainly hope you don't base your actions or come to any conclusions about poly relationships in general on what is posted in this thread thus far.
Last edited:
MsChristy
New member
Oh my metamour would NOT be ok with that. I have started threads recently on here talking about my metamours jealously and resentment issues. So don't think your metamour is the only one that wouldn't be "cool" with a marriage type set up
polybynature
New member
Absolutely. While jealousy is undesirable in poly, everyone deals with and fights it. its a human emotion, in my opinion largely bred my societal norms. or ive had too much coffee
PolyinPractice
New member
I thought "spouse" was equivalent to "marriage type setup." Sorry for ambiguity. I say, "spouse" phase, only because group marriage is not allowed. If you already have a spouse, it's hard to define others at that same level. But it's also possible to have a partner for years and THEN marry a new person. I know people who have had "boyfriends" for longer than they've been with their "husband."
I appreciate responses, but none that really addressed the issue. Experiences with moving to that phase?
If this is too personal, please PM me
Last edited:
gorgeouskitten
New member
I thought "spouse" was equivalent to "marriage type setup." Sorry for ambiguity. I say, "spouse" phase, only because group marriage is not allowed. If you already have a spouse, it's hard to define others at that same level. But it's also possible to have a partner for years and THEN marry a new person. I know people who have had "boyfriends" for longer than they've been with their "husband."
I appreciate responses, but none that really addressed the issue. Experiences with moving to that phase?
If this is too personal, please PM me
So youre saying....as in you were dating two people, then married one of them and kept the other as a BF?
PolyinPractice
New member
I don't know any of those people personally. I've just seen people talk about how they've been with their boyfriend for 10 years and their husband for 7. Not sure what the reason was for not marrying the first (perhaps was already married, maybe didn't want to get married). Couldn't say
JaneQSmythe
Well-known member
@Jane, I always thought making friends, sleeping with them, then spending time together WAS dating
That is an excellent point! But...since I wasn't "looking for" romantic relationships, it took me by surprise when it turned that direction.
An addendum - not everyone operates this way (there is a thread somewhere here where we discussed different models).
Some people do (for instance): dating (i.e. asking people out/dinner/movies) --> sex (at date # n? )--> friendship --> full-fledged romantic relationship.
...and various other orders.
I can't imagine being in a "romantic" relationship with someone that I wouldn't be friends with anyway (without the sex/romance) - although I can, and have, had purely sexual relationships with people that I wouldn't be friends with or be in a romantic relationship with. But apparently some people look for different things in dating partners than they do in "friends".